Saturday, January 17, 2009

Fish stories

I promised Joey that I would share this fish story - which is a TRUE story - after his hilarious post about underwear and fish food.

When the older of my younger brothers was in college in Connecticut, he drove across the country to stay with my family on winter and summer breaks in California, rather than fly.

This is an important detail because three fish might not have met their untimely deaths had he flown instead...ok, just kidding about that part. What is a "timely" death for a fish anyway?

So my bro, N, is in line at the grocery store, probably buying snacks, on the day before he drives back to Connecticut. He makes a last-minute impulse buy of a package of three live fish.

No, I am not making this up. Why, you may ask, is a grocery store selling live fish in the checkout aisle? I don't know.

Somehow, said fish - whom he named Gunther, Hans and - hell, I have forgotten the third fish's name, so let's call him fish # 3 - survived the cross-country road trip in a bag of water, and back to my brother's dorm.

N is often forgetful. Guess who quickly forgot to feed the fish?

He didn't realize how forgetful he had been until one day, upon returning to his room, he noticed that Gunther had gone missing.

He looked outside of the tank, to see if it had jumped out; he looked in the tank (obviously), and couldn't find a body.

The remaining two fish were bigger than Gunther. N felt bad, but he realized that they had gone without food for so long, they had eaten him. Not a gill remained.

Of course for the next week or two, N felt really bad and actually fed Hans and fish # 3.

Then, being forgetful, well, he forgot to feed them again.

One day, he came back to his room and Hans was missing.

He searched all of the places he had searched before, but he came to the conclusion that, as fish # 3 was bigger than Hans, he had eaten him.

(I swear that I am not making this up. Strange things tend to happen in my family.)

Predictably, N felt bad again, and resumed remembering to feed his remaining fish, fish # 3.

And equally predictably, N forgot to feed him, and one day he came home to fish # 3 floating belly-up in his tank.

Amazingly enough, N is now the part-time caretaker of my little brother and sister. He does much better with people, I guess.


LL Cool Joe said...

Hahaha. So it's not just me that neglects the fish!!

I've heard this a great deal about fish that go missing and have never liked to believe that it's the other fish who've eaten them. What's even more sick about your story is that the fish didn't wait until the other fish were dead!!

What's even more worrying is that your brother now looks after kids!! He's not left in charge of the children's pets too, is he? ;)

Great story!

(Thanks for the mention too. Yes a much more cheerful post than mine, although they do both involve death. Hmmm)

Darth Weasel said...

is there something fishy about that story? bwoohahah *hak koff choke*

someone read that crack over my shoulder and tried to strangle me, hence the choking. sorry about that.

great story. now, tell us the ravioli one :-)

Robert Tres said...

Fish like sushi, too ;)

Shionge said...

I hope through the fish experience he will not forget feeding the kids :)

I believe that this is a true story RK :)

Fireblossom said...

That's sad. Poor hungry fish. My son once murdered his goldfish the opposite way, by making its water positively murky with fish food. Moderation in all things, Grasshopper.

JLee said...

hahaha..I'm like that with plants, but they don't eat each other. ha

Riot Kitty said...

An update from my bro:

hee-hee. It was actually Gunter, Alejandro, and Floyd, who was the smallest and first to go, poor guy. Gunter was the largest, the last to survive, and apparently, the most hungry. that was great.

Green tea said...

I'm with JLee..I can't keep a plant alive.

Scarlet said...

So that explains what happened to our 6 fish! (We only have two now.)

Well, that's just sick...disgusting, but your story is hilarious! :D

Granny Annie said...

This wonderful fish tale is going to take a great deal of pondering. I'm just glad your family didn't find a fat fish and a missing brother!

Riot Kitty said...

A fat fish and a missing brother? HAHAHAHAHA! My bro is 6' - that would have to be one hell of a fish :)

And no, Joey, don't worry...he's not in charge of the children's pets.

And Darth, thank you for reminding me! Next up...the saga of my coworker's husband, who wanted to break into his brother's house for ravioli filling.

No, I'm not making that up, either.