Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Enter the fuckery

Sorry to have kept you waiting so long for this, but now you'll get a good week-of-event rant.

As some of you know, I'm in charge of what is now the largest event of its category on the West Coast. It has the highest turnout of any of the National events in this program, and we have reasons to be proud.  Thanks to those of you who have supported me in this endeavor! (Shameless request for donations for everyone else...)

I love my job and I'm passionate about what we do, and...I think I'm about ready to do a meditation series on becoming more patient. That, or move to Denver and start eating mushrooms. (Not really.)
Here are some real questions I've gotten:

Q: How long does it take to do the walk?
A: It depends on how fast you walk.
Follow up: Oh! I guess that makes sense.
(What I wanted to say): Seriously? Do you also need to know how long it takes to eat lunch?

Q: I have an injury and want to use my bike as a scooter in the walk. I won't pedal, I'm using it as a mobility device. You allow wheelchairs so I wanted to know is this OK? (There was a lot of other stuff that makes me think it was someone fucking with me, but you never know.)
A: Um...sure.
Follow up: I've decided being in a crowd presents an unacceptable risk of injury, so I'm not going to go.
(What I wanted to say): Good luck ever leaving your house.

Not to mention the event I've been helping run from afar that's in our state. Now, I get that it's their first walk, but it's less than 250 people. So out of all of the questions I expected, I did not expect these:

Q: What do we do with the leftover t-shirts?
A: Give them to volunteers?
(What I wanted to say): Oh hell, eat them.

Q: I want to make sure this form's information is correct.
A: It's your city that is permitting the event, so I think you need to ask them.
Follow up: Oh I meant your office address. (Keep in mind we work with their office ALL THE TIME.) I just ended up looking on your website.
(What I wanted to say): This requires true genius, thank you.

I'll keep you posted on how much hair I have next week.

PS Ninja edit from today:
Q:  I am woefully short of the fundraising needed to win one of the incentive items (since there is no fee to register and this is a fundraiser), do you happen to have any extras?
A: (Truth) No, I don't.
(What I wanted to say): Why yes! I'll take one from someone who *has* done the fundraising. Would you also like your lunch catered at the event? Valet parking?