Monday, June 30, 2008

Good riddance!

Our buddy Dr. John Holmes has resigned.

Probably before he got fired.

It turns out that one of the women who used to work for him as a grant writer got harassed by him as well...

And then she left...

And then she became his boss :)

She is now the board president.

He will no longer have the opportunity to look down my shirt, and I will no longer be tempted to refuse to knee him in the balls if I run into him in public.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Just perfect!

Those of you who read this regularly know that 1) I love buying and making subversive home decor and 2) I love the word "fuck."

So check this out...I found it at a local bookstore. It's too cool to go in my car, where I think sun would fade it. So it's hanging on a doorknob on the hall closet.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

For once, a totally personal blog

So never mind the fact that our flights were totally fucked because of thunderstorms on the way in, the fact that people were rude, the fact that it was 96 percent humidity...I got to eat great Italian food, of which there is none in Portland!

I saw family...


and went to Central Park...

and Cafe Lalo...

and the Museum of Sex.


But the best part is the torn-off ticket - you've got to love this designer. No one would pose for a picture with this ticket!

My little sibs have decided they like the subway better than cabs - how can they be related to me? :)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Kitty in the city

So this is my last post until at least the 25th, as I am off to NYC to meet up with family and see friends from NYU and that era - including Mike D, who I haven't gotten to see since 2002!

Looking forward to Cafe Lalo, the Met, Central Park, and a belated Father's Day lunch in Little Italy (did I ever tell you there is NO really good Italian food in Portland?)

Wish me a safe trip back (albeit with tired paws) - I hate flying - and I promise to bring back plenty of rants, raves and funny stories.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

The best line, ever, ever, ever!

Mr. Riot Kitty and I went to see Sex and the City today. He was the only one in the theater with a penis, I am pretty sure, unless there was some really convincing drag queens that I missed.

Anyway - I have found the best comeback line to address assholes with meandering eyes. (Where was this when I met you, John Holmes?)

In one scene, Jennifer Hudson catches a delivery guy looking down her shirt.

Her reply: "Ain't nothing in there for you!"

I must use that line, often.

The best I have done in the past:

"Jack, if we're going to be friends, you're going to have to stop looking at my boobs."

He replied, "OK."

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Sad, sad, sad, but you're gonna be fine...

You know that Rolling Stones song?

I've been waking up sad for the past few days, and I realized it has to do with my upcoming trip to NYC.

It's the first trip I'll be making there since two people I cared about very much, who both lived there, died - my friend Ward in 2003, and my cousin John in 2005.

Friday is the anniversary of John's death; Ward's birthday is the 30th.

I heard a statistic at work yesterday that people with mental illness can die as many as 25 or 30 years earlier than those without. If that isn't a call to action, I don't know what is.

John and Ward, now that I think about it, had more in common than I had ever considered. Both had mental illnesses and both had inner demons. In John's case, it made it difficult for him to be in relationships of any kind with people, although he seemed to have a million friends; in Ward's case, he was suicidally depressed off and on his whole life.

And though neither of their deaths - Ward's from a heart attack, John's from cancer - were directly related to mental illness, I believe the stress definitely contributed to it. Ward's depression drove him to drugs and alcohol before I met him, for years at a time, and I think the damage was what triggered the heart attack.

Either way, they're both at peace now.

I just miss you guys.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

'U' is for 'Up Yours!'

So I got into a small pissing match with my insurance agent's right-hand person yesterday. The issue that was raised related to the fact that a couple of times in the past, he had bumped up my coverage...and apparently he's not supposed to do that. At the time, it sounded reasonable, and I said, "OK," but it had already been done.

So his assistant said, essentially, there's no way he would have done that, it's unethical, she didn't believe it, blah blah blah.

The funny thing is, I had just referenced his actions in the context of a price discussion. I wasn't accusing him of anything nefarious (although it sounds like I should have.)

Guess who lost the pissing contest?

Tips for the uninitiated:

1. When you have a client with a complaint, don't essentially call them a liar.
2. When your customer says the price seems a bit high, don't reply, "We can't just come up with a magical number because you think the rates are too high."

When failing to follow 1 and 2, expect said customer to transfer all three of her family's insurance policies to another agent's office.

Within the same insurance company.


Monday, June 09, 2008

And here he is!

Hello, Luke! My cousin's adorable baby boy... Technically, I think he would be my second cousin? Help me with the vocab, here, people...cute, cute, CUTE! I think in a former life he may have been a button.

Sunday, June 08, 2008


It's a gorgeous day here. Following 2 weeks of rain and blah and chilly weather, it's 65 and sunny.
So I spent the day doing...chores! Yuck. But here's a great pic to share the good vibes anyhow...taken by Mr. Riot Kitty. I swear, his pictures and his ability to take them make me want to hide under the covers, cry, and never use my camera again.

On another random note, I have been tagged by Jlee... the topic is, "List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now."

So here you go, in no particular order...

1. "Eyes Without a Face" by Billy Idol
2. "Flesh For Fantasy" by Billy Idol (yes, the cd is in the car)
3. "Time Is On My Side" by the Rolling Stones
4. "Lonely Avenue" by Ray Charles
5. Swan Lake Ballet Suite - ok, not one song, but would you have recognized it if I selected "Scene" or "Valse"? I think not.
6. "Time in a Bottle" by Jim Croce
7. "Leaving On A Jet Plane" by John Denver (sentimental 80s kid stuff, don't ask me)

So I am tagging Claire, Scarlet,Green Tea MN and Chella and Sarah.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Girlfriends, gay rights and RFK

So my friend Chella got an awesome review for her zines, which are basically an answer to male-dominated, self-hating propaganda about the female reproductive system...check it out.

Chella (as she is known to her zine friends) is one of these people who has known me since I was a complete and utter bitch, and loves me (I think) still.

I wanted to post about her for quite some time now, because she and Sarah are getting married on the 21st - because although she's American, they're in England and they can - and people, the fucking sky isn't falling because of it!

I was proud to be a Californian (albeit a transplanted one who was born in the Midwest) this week when my home state told attorneys general (all GOP fuckheads, mind you) to stuff it and went ahead and kept their very sensible ruling that two people who are in love and want to commit to some kind of legally binding agreement should be allowed to do so.

Take that, homophobic separatist GOP motherfuckers!

It's also been a day to reflect because one of my personal heroes, Robert F. Kennedy, was killed 40 years ago today.

Think about how many people are saying Obama is inexperienced - did you know that during his run for the presidency, RFK was just 42? I wonder, would he be sneered at today? Would he be dismissed as being part of a political dynasty, as some have said about Hillary Clinton?

If experience were the most motivating factor, it'd make sense to vote in Cheney/Satan 08!

Does it count for nothing that a person has the ability to make people hope, to dream, to unite?

It is beyond sad when I think about how the country could have been different - really, really different - if we'd had RFK instead of Nixon, and ANYONE instead of Bush.

It's so hard to think about what and whom we might not have lost during that and the current administration.

In times of crisis, why is the first casualty always common sense?

Tuesday, June 03, 2008


Reason #1,243 that copy editors just plain SUCK: they write headlines. Shitty, inaccurate, totally fucked up headlines that reporters get blamed for.

But once in awhile, they get called on it - hence a friend's letter to the editor, sent to a paper where I used to work, that has been ravaged by corporate greed and cost-cutting in all the wrong places:

The headline on page A5 of today's paper (June 3) reads:
"Vandals: The road they should have took".
It should probably read:
"Proofreaders: The employees The Daily News should have kept".