Sometimes life imitates art, and sometimes art imitates life, and sometimes something so strange and fucked up happens that you just have to write about it.
I am reading the Sherlock Holmes novels and short stories for the first time. Last night, I was about halfway through a story when the tired stick hit me and I went to sleep.
At this point in the post I should mention, lest anyone get confused later, that I have an ex who turned out to be a liar and a thief - let's call him Ned (not his real name of course. Who the hell is named Ned these days?)
So in this Sherlock Holmes story, there is a gang of father/son criminals who are called the "Ned Burglars." (OK, not really, but they have the same name as the ex.) I thought that was hilarious until I went to sleep and had a dream that not only was I still in contact with Ned (we broke up more than seven years ago), but we had gotten married, he had stolen stuff from me and stuff from my dad, and was threatening to drag out a divorce for a year.
Never have I been so grateful to wake up next to Mr. RK!
And I was thinking later in the day that I take it for granted that Mr. RK won't be dishonest or hide things from me (except for a birthday present or two.)
And thank God for that.
Plus, Ned had a small penis.
23 comments:
Oh, poor Ned:( Did you mean to leave us all feeling sorry for Ned? LOL
Pretty bizarre dreams you got there young lady.
What a wild dream! Mercy. :)
Classy.
As if we didn't hate Ned enough, that's the final straw..
:)
What a horrible dream!
GA: Nope. Ned deserves no sympathy!
G: Seriously, I could do without them.
L: Ned deserves no mercy.
Mike: Bwahahahaha!
MZ: Yes, it was!
HA! I would've titled this post, "Ned With the Small Penis!" :D
I have the answer for you. Who has the name Ned?
Ned does.
Glad I could clear that up.
"and sometimes something so strange and fucked up happens that you just have to write about it."
OMG--LMAO!!!! and why are you calling me Ned??? Little "D" is still good!
Hugs,
John
PS: Honesty is so awesome--you don't have to expend all that energy keeping up with the lies!
PS: I have come to revenge the death of my Father, "Do you have six fingers?"Loved that Movie!!!
Butterflyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Narf!
:0
Glad you found the Mr. and escaped the Ned!
L: I wish I would have ;)
Darth: Would you like a spanking? :)
John: Bwahahaha!
S: Yep, me too.
You do know why Ned has a small penis? It is called the Reversed Pinnochio Syndrome (aka RPS).
The more Ned lies, the smaller his penis becomes...
H: I love it! That must be why. It did seem to shrink over time.
Apparently part of your subconscious hasn't quite stopped jonesing for Ned. Maybe you were into that small weiner of his...
Phil: Not really, as my life is incomplete without thieves, liars and small dicks...but are you offering yourself as a substitute? :)
The last line almost made my tea meet my keyboard.
Nice.
Cxx
Phil, I think you just got pawned.
Claire: Hahaha!
G: Yep, he did.
wow wow that was a wild dream!!!
T: Yeah, more like a nightmare.
I thought I was the only one who had dreams about small penises :)
How the hell did I miss this small penis post?
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