Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Funny things

I am out of brain cells. But I like to laugh, and so do you. So here are a couple of unintentionally funny things that happened the past few days.

Driving home, right as it starts pouring, Radiohead's "High and dry" comes on the radio.

Driving by the cemetery (different day, same radio station), "Digging in the dirt" comes on the radio. (Am I morbid, or is that hilarious?)

Meeting for an all-girls dinner before a meeting, I spill it to my board president that I am constantly having sex dreams about my boss (who I'd never, ever, EVER sleep with, even if we were both single and didn't work together) and how embarrassing it is to even look at him in the morning after this happens! I thought she'd spit out her sandwich, she laughed so hard.

Realizing that - oh shit! - one of our key volunteers, a gray-haired 40- or 50-something, has a haircut just like Justin Bieber, and trying really hard not to laugh during the meeting as I was thinking about it.

Getting a link to this awesome make-your-own-greeting card site from my friend K. (That's where this pic came from.)

Mr. RK walking in, looking at a Victoria's Secret clothing catalog where the model is wearing a sweater with shorts that barely cover her ass, and saying, "If she was really that cold, she wouldn't be wearing those shorts!" (I like their underwear but their catalogs and e-mails are definitely targeted to a horny, heterosexual male audience, which is kind of irritating. Every e-mail they send has a picture that may as well read, "Come fuck me!")


Claire said...

Oh, for a picture of the Beiber hair!


Shionge said...

You are so funny ;D

G. B. Miller said...

And he said that with a straight face, eh?

Hmmm...my word verify is "barkci".

Bark, ci?

Bark like a dog, ci?

Anonymous said...

Oh, the fact of the matter is, is that men "read" the VS catalog. I know I did for most of my high school years.

Fireblossom said...

I hate the VS catalog. Then again, I lack the requisite burning desire to be attractive to men, a necessity if you're going to appreciate the VS catalog or Cosmo.

I used to really like that model Alessandra whatserface, though. Something about those eyebrows makes it look as though she is always right on the edge of saying something terrifically interesting, when in fact, she probably has styro peanuts riddled with cocaine for brains. Just a guess, lol.

I have two bi gf's who annually seize the remote control from their sputtering husbands and plant themselves in front of the VS special on tv. I've never watched it but I love the notion of my friends commandeering the tv in order to watch chix, lol.

That post card is hysterical. I love it!

Anonymous said...

I’m always having horny dreams about my boss, which is OK cos I’m married to her.
I really enjoyed this post. Thanks.

All the best from Boonie

Maude Lynn said...

A Justin Bieber haircut? That is sooo wrong.

Lynn said...

Someone needs to tell that guy that a Justin Bieber haircut isn't appropriate for him. Eeeek. :)

Ileana said...

OMG, I love the postcard, and my son's hockey coach has a Justin Bieber haircut. (My mother calls him "la vieja.") lol

JLee said...

I am giggling too trying to picture the Justin Bieber hairdo. lol

I have wondered that SAME THING about the shorts/sweater or shorts/boots combo. WTF???

LL Cool Joe said...

Does Justin have a haircut? I just think he damn well needs one!!

Love those postcards, in fact I may use one for my next post! Thanks! :D

Logical Libby said...

Maybe just her arms were cold. O maybe she has really nice legs, but her arms have those turkey flaps.

Riot Kitty said...

Claire: I wish I could have snuck one with my phone.
S: Thanks!
G: He did. He's good at deadpan humor like that ;)
WIGSF: Certainly seems like that is their target market, no pun intended.
FB: I'm going to have to use "styro peanuts riddled with cocaine for brains" in a sentence soon!
Boonie: LOL! And thanks :)
MZ and Lynn: I hope someone tells him at some point. But it won't be me.
SI: And do you laugh every time you see this man?
JLee: Just picture Justin Bieber with gray hair!
Joey: Exactly!
Libby: LOL!

Holland said...

LOL Cats and Blunt Cards are the best and anybody over 14 having a bieber cut is seriously in need of therapy

Darth Weasel said...

on the irony portion...I always lauged that opposite the funeral home in St. helens, for years the street had a sign that said "Dead End"

Riot Kitty said...

H: Good point about therapy...
Darth: That is hilarious!

Jen said...

I've known people who would probably wear that outfit no matter how cold it was. One wore open toed shoes on cold, wet days in February with skirts so short Ally McBeal wouldn't wear them.

Gorilla Bananas said...

You may think you don't want to have sex with your boss, but your ovaries are telling you something different.

Female gorillas are just the same, I would never get laid if they didn't have sex dreams about me.

Riot Kitty said...

Jen: True. Sounds painful
GB: I'll have to check in with them :)