My husband works with many idiots - among them, a 27-year-old who lives with mommy so he can afford $150 (shredded) jeans and a $40,000 Honda. ($40,000 for a Honda! Give me a fucking break!)
Anyhow, he got into a pissing contest today with another one of my husband's co-workers about - drum roll - cars. Yes, cars.
And my husband overheard the following exchange.
Idiot: "Yeah, well, at least I'm here doing this job at 27 instead of at your age!"
Don't ask me why "doing this job" - a skilled, high-tech job - isn't so hot if you're in your 40s, like the guy he was insulting.
But the follow-up was fantastic:
Guy in his 40s: "I have my own house and I get laid every night."
So naturally the idiot shut up.
And the kicker...
Not finished, the guy in his 40s took pictures of the idiot's car and posted them on Craigslist with the following ad:
"Need to sell fast to pay medical bills. Asking $5,000. Call >>>>>>>>>>"
And he included the idiot's cell phone number. Needless to say, it was ringing all afternoon.
The funny postscript is that the guy in his 40s, who we really should be calling idiot #2, is 6'5", and was enough of an asshole to make short guy jokes to yet another one of my husband's co-workers, who we'll call co-worker #3.
My guess, given the fact that idiot #2 drives a Hummer, is that some parts are a lot shorter than he'd like them to be...
But anyway, on and on he goes all afternoon, and co-worker #3 just takes it. (I should mention at this point that co-worker #3, by the way, loves to snack on fresh jalapeños.) Then, when idiot #2's back is turned during lunch, co-worker #3 rubs the hot dog idiot #2 was eating with one of the fresh jalapeños. Idiot #2 takes a bite and turns bright red from the spice.
"I didn't know she was going to get spicy hot dogs!" he says.
Serves him right...they're made of lips and assholes anyway. Takes one to know one, I suppose.