Monday, July 02, 2007

No such thing as a free chicken

So despite my political rants and my love for Kurt Vonnegut, and my bitching about injustice, the most popular postings on this blog, I am told, are the ones featuring ads about - guess what? - chickens!

So here you are, guys and gals.

Another gem from Portland craigslist - actually, another Clark County one posting on the Portland list, so that's a disclaimer:

free chickens

Reply to:
Date: 2007-07-02, 12:42PM PDT

i want free chckens that lay eggs so call

Well, okey-dokey! I just happen to have a few choice hens laying farm-fresh eggs that I am dying for someone like you to take off my hands.

How, dare I ask, does one dream up the ideas for these kinds of posts?

I imagine it goes something like this:

Mr. Y (we will call him) wakes up one fine Saturday morning. He's hungry. He suddenly craves an omelette like nobody's business.

He looks around outside the window of his dwelling in Vancouver, Washington. Alas, there are plenty of Republicans and hicks, but no chickens that lay eggs.

But Mr. Y does not despair. A-ha! He thinks. Being Internet savvy, he will hunt down an egg-laying hen on the web. Better yet, he will post a note to the Internet community that communicates his needs.

Today will be the day.

He will visit craigslist. He will post. He will get his omelette. His dream will come true.

Then he will realize he has no Tabasco for the eggs and the vicious cycle will begin once again.


Darth Weasel said...

I just like the way all these yokels have the money to maintain a computer and a connection (although no discernable spelling or grammar skills)...yet can't pony up 5 or 10 bucks to get said egg-laying chicken. They want it free. Which brings up an interesting point. Let us assume this dude is creative and has a pointed roof atop his cardboard box duplex. If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of his roof does it fall off to the north or the south?

Roosters don't lay eggs....

Anonymous said...

Silly weasel!

Roosters don't lay eggs; roosters lay chickens.