My friend Joe wrote a very insightful post, and I'm stealing a quote he posted that made me think.
"Nothing is hopeless - if you can't choose what happens to you, you can chose how to react."
- Sarah Brown
I have grappled with this over the years, going from a spunky kid (from birth) to an anxious kid (after my parents got divorced and I moved too many times) to an angry young woman (after I realized not everyone in the world was nice or truthful), and now (I hope) finally to someone who is learning to be calmer and not react by assuming the worst.
My friend Darth Weasel put it this way a few years ago, when we were both having a difficult time at work: "I ask myself, 'Will you care about this tomorrow?'"
My buddy Claire's blog has a picture up saying, "Be calm and drink more tea." I wrote her that I tend to be antsy and drink more coffee!
I have had such a hard time wrapping my mind around the tragedy in Japan, questioning God and the universe...in addition to a week of family drama. But Joey's post made me rethink that in many ways, too. I can't prevent bad things from happening - to my loved ones, or to strangers far away - but I can choose how I react. I can choose to help.
11 comments:
When I was growing up there was a guy a few years older than me who was always talking about how great life would be when he moved to California. How many things there were to do. How much fun he was going to have.
Dad told me that guy would not be happy in Cali because he was not happy where he was, that there would always be something else he wanted.
Short form; he was telling me to make the best of where I was.
Sure enough, said guy moved to California...now he is back, decades older, no happier, always looking for "that thing" that will make him happy.
Meanwhile, a lot of people I know who have had it a lot worse have found joy where they are.
Amazing. Dad knew something. (okay, lots of things...)
I think that to a degree, we all obssess about one thing or another. Sometimes it can manifest itself in the worst way possible, and sometimes it can just be bubbling beneath the surface waiting for that right moment to turn you into a poster child for OCD.
It has taken me a long time not only to not obssess over things that I can't control but also to realize that you just can't live your life as a series of "what ifs".
You have to live it as a result of "what I want is this."
RK---- Just HUGS!!!!!
This is why we all LOVE you!
J
RK, I'm glad my blog inspired this post, I really am. Sometimes we do need to search within ourselves and wonder if we need to be the ones to change how we handle the things that happen to us and others.
You know my mother falls out with all her neighbours, wherever she lives. It took me a while to realise that it can't always be the neighbours fault, perhaps it's her. I feel like this about myself in other ways, and I'm now honest enough to see that this could be my problem no one else's.
We do have a choice how we react to situations.
Sorry went off on a tangent there!
Exactly. Helping is the best thing you can do. {{{HUG}}}
Darth: My dad's best friend in high school went on year after year about how he couldn't wait until he retired. Then six months after he did, he had a heart attack and dropped dead. I've always tried to appreciate what I have right in front of me since I heard that story.
G: That last line is a great mantra. Good point.
J: Awww! Thanks :)
Joey: No tangent, I enjoy your posts and comments, as you can see by the one I wrote here.
L: Hugs to you too!
Thankee.
The world is so huge and awful. It's taking the small, wonderful pieces that matter.
G: De nada.
L: Another good point.
I'm finding that I should probably drink less coffee if I want to remain calm.
The tsunami and drama of that has been kicking my butt too. I know more than one person that was missing or is still missing family and it's been a strain for me :-/
It is never a good idea to question why things happen to us.
Shit happens because it happens in life, and it has to happen to someone. Eventually our number is up and we have to accept it for what it is.
And my heart really goes out to the people in Japan.
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