Words for Wednesday

Hello! I'm at least temporarily out of my cat cave. I'm sorry for the absence and will visit your blogs soon.

My good friend Sue at the Elephant's Child blog passed the torch on to me for Words for Wednesday.
The skinny: I give you words, you run with (and write with) them if you so choose.

This has been a trying time, so I am choosing words that represent things I take solace in:

Coffee
Profanity
Cats
Flowers
Cards
Writing

I look forward to seeing what you come up with!

Sure, buy me a muffin. Who are you?

Is it me, or is way too much texting done for work these days?

As a general precaution I sometimes exchange cell phone numbers with people in case something comes up DOE.

But it's a bit weird to get a text like this, from an unknown number:

"Sorry about all the emailing you had to do to make sure I had the right time. Will make it up to you Friday. Will BUY YOU A MUFFIN!"

Really? How about telling me who the hell you are first? And...who capitalizes muffin? Ever?

It's just about event time, which means 1. I will have PMS that week, and 2. I start to get unreasonable requests.

I got this meal request from someone the other day:

Mind you...she has come to this event every year for the past 8 years and had no restrictions. Also, what is with the "no soda or chocolate or MSG?" Does she think we're going to force feed her soda and chocolate Chinese food? Just curious.

Update: Today, she called to un-RSVP. In lieu of attendance, she wants me to write up a synopsis of what each speaker says. Since we're going to have 300+ guests, that should be no problem, right?

Anything ridiculous going on in your lives?

People I would like to tell to fuck off

No, a complete list cannot fit in this very small space.

I'm sorry for the long absences. Mr. RK and I are getting divorced. Although it is the right thing, it sucks. I have slept well about one night in 2016, which makes it difficult to do just about anything else that isn't absolutely necessary.

We're very lucky to have awesome friends who are like adopted family supporting us through this - and to those of you who are reading this now, big hugs from Oregon.

To the random people who know us only peripherally and have been giving us advice, two words: FUCK OFF! And to the people who have started flirting (or worse), you can fuck YOURSELVES.

And a few questions.

1. I'm the same person I was a few months ago. Why do you (guys) think it's suddenly appropriate to A. Flat out ask me to sleep with you, or B. Start paying me lots of attention and think I won't figure out why?

2. Why is it that suddenly some of you people (even ones who are currently in shitty relationships) see fit to give personal advice? I have been told A. To never give up! (As if two consenting adults realizing that they will be much happier apart than together, even though it will be temporarily very painful, is giving up or taking the easy way out.) B. To not start dating immediately, but stay home and be celibate. I should just tell all of these people I have a very expensive/very effective vibrator. (Yes, when it comes to those, you definitely get what you pay for.) C. Generally insert opinions where they are not wanted, when they have not been invited. (I can think of a place they can be inserted, let me tell you.)

3. Religious relatives emailing me and telling me why there is, in their opinion, a Biblical justification for the split (even though I am not a Christian and not their brand of evangelical) when I didn't ask.

4. Religious relatives offering vitamin supplements to help the stress go away. (No, I am not making this up.)

I miss everyone in the blogging community. It has just been a struggle to do the basics (work, daily obligations) and try to make sure everyone involved comes out intact. I will visit as soon as I get unburied from some of this load.

Yours truly,

RK

I have eaten the communication breakdown burger, and it tastes terrible!

There are more stressful than usual things afoot here. Sorry for the hiatus and I will visit you all soon!

In the meantime, here is a big, open FUCK YOU, POTTERY BARN!

I have a marketing background. Obviously, whoever you hired to do your marketing is smoking crack. Or pot, more likely. Because only someone completely stoned would have this brainstorm:

Hmm, someone ordered a comforter from our website.
I know! Let's sign them up for EVERY EMAIL LIST FOR EVERY COMPANY WE OWN! And let's make them unsubscribe INDIVIDUALLY, EACH TIME, FROM EACH LIST! Even though she may not have heard of some of these places!

Fuck you, Pottery Barn! I may just send your marketing department some edible penises, or used sex toys.

Get thee the fuck out of my state, Vanilla ISIS!

Can I just say, it's really demoralizing when the state you live in makes national news for a) shitty weather, b) your Governor thinking with his dick, and c) Caucasian terrorists from out of state camping out in the gift shop of a park in your state, "defending" two people whose families don't want Caucasian terrorists defending them.

As Ebony magazine points out, there's a whopping double standard in the fact that these armed jackasses aren't called terrorists (read: they're white.) Twitter put it well: "Armed black people are called thugs. Armed brown people are called terrorists. Armed white people are called militias."

Meanwhile, I have been laughing my ass off about #YokelHaram, #VanillaISIS, #YallQaeda, etc. These jerkoffs don't deserve any respect. Anyone who needs to storm a gift shop (yes, they're in the gift shop), armed, has got to be hung like a peanut.

In other news, the rest of the country is *also* laughing at us, because a few inches of snow shut down our entire metro area for the better part of today. Did that stop anyone from driving like an idiot? Come on! This is Oregon, after all.

I plan to catch up on blogs very soon. What's going on in your neck of the woods?

Socks and underwear

As a kid, I thought socks and underwear were shitty holiday gifts. But the week before Christmas, we delivered socks at a place that also gives out underwear, and the recipents couldn't be happier.

Each year, my organization gets donations for and puts together bags of toiletry items, socks and a warm item (hat, scarf, gloves, etc.) for people living with mental illness who are homeless. I'm super proud of our outreach committee because we put this on ourselves this year, with no corporate sponsorship, and we got more than 500 bags of donations!

I volunteer at the organization where we donated them, and got to help at the holiday party last Saturday. People were so happy to get the basics. It was humbling. I've never had to get socks or toothpaste from complete strangers.

That's me and my friend K with Donnie, "Red," and Rick. 

What never ceases to amaze me, however, is that some idiots give us USED things that no one would want.

A tip for the uninitiated: no one wants your used socks or chapsticks! Or condoms, for that matter. 
 
We also got condoms donated from the health department, which cracked up some of the guests.
One lady asked me, "Why did we get condoms?" And I replied, "We want everyone to have as Merry a Christmas as possible!"

Hope you enjoy the holidays. If you are able, think about taking some new socks or undies to your local organization that helps the homeless. It will be much appreciated.

You can has social skillz?

Sometimes my social filters just disappear. Not often, but always at an inopportune time. And horribly. (Like remarking to a person with low vision the other day, "Put on your sunglasses! Otherwise the sun will blind you!" Yes, really.)

But a few times lately I've had the joy of hearing someone goof this way with me, and it made me feel so good to not be on the "oops" side of a social situation!

As with everything, I would not, could not make this up. To make you even more proud, I managed not to snicker until after situation #1 and situation #2.

Situation #1, over coffee with a volunteer.
Me: Referring to 20 years ago when I was in college and there weren't many mental health resources for students.
Volunteer: "You're that old?"
(Note: she is 70.)

Situation #2, at a work event with another volunteer.
Volunteer: "I really appreciate your help, and all that you do! AND you're bipolar!"
Me: "No, I'm not."
Volunteer: "Well, I know you're something. What are you?"
Me: "I have major depressive disorder."
Volunteer: "Well, that's even worse!"

Situation #3, on Thanksgiving with friends.
Me to friend A (who is a guy): "So how was that date with that girl Jennifer?"
Friend B to friend A: "Oh my God! I thought you were gay!"

We all laughed (including friend A) for five solid minutes. Meanwhile, friend A posted that exchange on his Facebook page, and one of his gay friends wrote back, "Boy, is her gaydar off!"

Just glad none of these were from me.