Monday, March 09, 2009

Why I hate winter.

You know why it's called "Old Man Winter" - winter is like an annoying, rude old codger who won't shut up or lay off. Just as you think you've gotten rid of him...Pow! Back he comes to indefinitely annoy the shit out of you.

There is a reason I no longer live on the East Coast: I hate winter.

The past two days, we've had snow and hail. I live in a "banana belt" part of the Pacific Northwest (meaning the idiot who named it, thinking we were part of the "warm" area, needs to have a banana shoved up his ass.) Translation: it's not supposed to fucking snow here in March!

I am tired, which makes me crankier than usual. (Stop snickering!)

So why do I hate winter? Let me count the ways...or the whys.

1. It's cold.
2. This means I can't wear sandals. I hate wearing socks.
3. It's too cold to enjoy ice cream.
4. When a few flakes of snow fall, all hell breaks loose - and people in this area can't drive to save their lives to begin with.
5. More than likely, it's grey.
6. If it's not grey, it's cold enough that you're freezing your ass off.
7. I like iced coffee. I still get it when it's cold. The difference between ordering an iced coffee in winter and ordering it any other time of year? "Heeeeeeeeeey, ICED COFFEE? It's COLD!" No shit.
8. It doesn't apply to me - this was a guest suggestion - shrinkage. The guest shall remain nameless.
9. I am not a polar bear.
10. Geez, isn't 9 enough reasons? What do you want from my life?!


Fireblossom said...


Day ay ay o


Claire said...

I'm with you....can we get to spring already, please, universe?


K-Rod said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
vivavavoom said...

I thought of moving where you live too...but the grey would maybe bug me. I think I have a little seasonal affective disorder. I am from the east and do not know how I did it, but then again...we had better seasons in CT.

pheromone girl said...

Snow in March makes PG a very sad girl...

LL Cool Joe said...

Here in the UK we have a few days of snow and everything falls to pieces. I dread to think what would happen to the country if we had it for more than a week.

We just have to put up with the rain.

When we were in Vermont and they told us they had snow for like 6 months of the year, and it never really thaws out until May, then it's muddy for 2 months and then they have a couple of months of beautiful sunshine before the snow again, I thought no I'll stick with our more boring, bland weather here. Goes with all the boring, bland Brits anyway.

JLee said...

We had such gorgeous weather for a few it's going to be cold and rainy. DAMMIT

K-Rod said...

We just got about 8" of fresh snow! Nice!!!

Looks like it will be another great weekend of snowmobiling.

I hope we get another foot before the end of the month.

K-Rod said...

Breathe - the most beautiful snowmobile clip in he world

Cool video.

Except for waterskipping the season is over, the weekend's 425 miles puts my season at about 2700 miles.

Life is good!