Friday, March 27, 2009

Friday funnies

Lesson of the week - and why can I not accept this at age 32? - you cannot please everyone all the time, no matter how well you do, and sometimes people in big positions can act really small.

So to cheer myself up and hopefully share some laughter with the rest of you, here are some random funny tidbits...

If you have never visited Fark, you must! The blurbs written about the strange stories are the funniest, best bits...from that site and from real life, here are some of the more humorous moments of my week:

1. Things I should not be laughing about but just can't help myself: a terrorist accidentally blew up some other terrorists instead of civilians. The question remains: do they still get access to all of those virgins? Or just a kick in the gonads because they accidentally offed the wrong peeps?

2. As we're getting ready to land the plane, stow your belongings, restore all tray tables and seats to their upright positions...and put your dick back in your pants. Yes, even if you are a merengue singer named Elvis. Scarlet rightly pointed out, "What do you expect from a guy who sings 'Suavemente'?"

3. Our intern at work has been working for a corporation that has started treating people poorly. She doesn't get it, because she works hard, and said she has "only decaf'd someone once." Um, what? Apparently, if a barista pisses you off, you don't get your caffeine. Baristas at a cafe in downtown Portland apparently served nothing but decaf for THREE WHOLE MONTHS when management pissed them off!

4. And this is really priceless - a friend (who will remain unnamed because she blogs and doesn't want her kids to read it) went for coffee with a guy this morning who dazzled her with the following conversation bits of information:

Guy: I haven't been checked for a long time.
My friend (understanding and totally disgusted): What do you have, rabies?
Guy: And I do mushrooms and smoke pot.
My friend: Uh, that's a dealbreaker.
Guy: Can we just have meaningless sex?
My friend: Um. No.
Guy: But the bathroom's right over there!

We wonder if this was the same guy who solicited my husband for sex at our walk event last year, which had port-a-potties...

I would not, COULD NOT make this up!

Happy Friday...


Claire said...

Oh man....I love the phrase 'decaf'd'. I'm going to try and use it at some point soon!


Fireblossom said...

RK, thanks to you, I've just discovered Fark. What a hoot! I've been falling off my chair laffing at the photoshopped stonehenge celebrants. They should become Scarletarians instead!

LL Cool Joe said...

Geez I need to get some new real life friends. Mine are way too boring.

pheromone girl said...

Thanks for the random silliness! I love and am madly forwarding stuff from FARK, you little rock star you!!

Your friend sounds funny. I'd like to meet her some day...

Sidhe said...

Next time I meet someone new I'm totally saying to them, "I haven't been checked for a long time..." Actually, I don't think I can wait, I'm going to go to the gas station right now and wait for a stranger.

Scarlet said...

I thought I'd pop in before my Mom's Night Out. Thanks for the fun post...and I will be back to check out Fark.

That conversation between your friend and that guy could've taken place at any Starbuck's here in Miami. Sick, isn't it?

Enjoy your Saturday!