Thursday, June 04, 2009
Spam gets personal
Here's a comment I rejected earlier today (note: comments in parentheses are ad lib by a certain pissed off Kitty.)
I love your blog. So funny. How are you? (FUCKING FANTASTIC, THANK YOU!)I wanted to write to you to tell you
how much I enjoy your blog. My name is XXXXXX, I am a marketing assistant at XXXX Fantasys (WE KNOT ONLY SPAM YU, BUT WEE DON'T KNOE HOUW TOO SPEL.) We are an online adult community and e-tailer. Over the past few years we have developed a wonderful community of contributors (CONTRIBUTORS OF WHAT EXACTLY? SPERM?)from everywhere. We offer open forums for them to discuss issues without fear of prejudice. We have thousands of customer reviews with material guides. We also offer online interviews with
manufacturers, artists, social media gurus and many others. (MANUFACTURERS OF WHAT? SEX TOYS? WOULD THAT BE A PLUM ASSIGNMENT OR WHAT?) We also have an online magazine devoted to the exploration of sex and culture called SeXis. It's fun, informative and educational. I find our community truly amazing and I love working with them all. (I'LL BET YOU DO!)
Over the past few months, the company has worked hard to raise awareness of
what we have to offer and have been working with other great bloggers. (EG, WE HAVE SPAMMED EVERYONE.) We also
utilize editorial write-ups to spread the word and of course, to have fun too. (WE WRITE PRODUCT PORN.)
I would be honored if you were interested in working with xxxxxxxxxxx Fantasys and/or SeXis to help bring our communities together. (EXACTLY WHAT COMMUNITY DO I HAVE? THE COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO VENT ABOUT OREGON DRIVERS, REPUBLICANS, AND PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SHUT UP?) Please let me know if that is a possibility you would consider. (RIGHT. MY PEOPLE WILL PHONE YOUR PIMPS.)
Either way you decide, thank you again for your wonderful blog and I look
forward to reading it in the future. (YOU'RE WELCOME!)
*Right!* What a wonderful writer I am!
I wrote Pheromone Girl and whined, "Why the fuck ME? How and why did they find my blog?"
And she politely said, "Um, because they probably did a search for the word 'fuck'...and you use it on your blog...a lot."
Fuckety fuck fuck. My potty mouth has even caught up with me ON MY ANONYMOUS BLOG!
I wish there was room to e-mail my own comments back with the comments I reject.