Thursday, June 04, 2009

Spam gets personal


REALLY personal.

Here's a comment I rejected earlier today (note: comments in parentheses are ad lib by a certain pissed off Kitty.)

I love your blog. So funny. How are you? (FUCKING FANTASTIC, THANK YOU!)I wanted to write to you to tell you
how much I enjoy your blog. My name is XXXXXX, I am a marketing assistant at XXXX Fantasys (WE KNOT ONLY SPAM YU, BUT WEE DON'T KNOE HOUW TOO SPEL.) We are an online adult community and e-tailer. Over the past few years we have developed a wonderful community of contributors (CONTRIBUTORS OF WHAT EXACTLY? SPERM?)from everywhere. We offer open forums for them to discuss issues without fear of prejudice. We have thousands of customer reviews with material guides. We also offer online interviews with
manufacturers, artists, social media gurus and many others. (MANUFACTURERS OF WHAT? SEX TOYS? WOULD THAT BE A PLUM ASSIGNMENT OR WHAT?) We also have an online magazine devoted to the exploration of sex and culture called SeXis. It's fun, informative and educational. I find our community truly amazing and I love working with them all. (I'LL BET YOU DO!)

Over the past few months, the company has worked hard to raise awareness of
what we have to offer and have been working with other great bloggers. (EG, WE HAVE SPAMMED EVERYONE.) We also
utilize editorial write-ups to spread the word and of course, to have fun too. (WE WRITE PRODUCT PORN.)

I would be honored if you were interested in working with xxxxxxxxxxx Fantasys and/or SeXis to help bring our communities together. (EXACTLY WHAT COMMUNITY DO I HAVE? THE COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO VENT ABOUT OREGON DRIVERS, REPUBLICANS, AND PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SHUT UP?) Please let me know if that is a possibility you would consider. (RIGHT. MY PEOPLE WILL PHONE YOUR PIMPS.)

Either way you decide, thank you again for your wonderful blog and I look
forward to reading it in the future. (YOU'RE WELCOME!)

Sincerely, XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

*Right!* What a wonderful writer I am!

I wrote Pheromone Girl and whined, "Why the fuck ME? How and why did they find my blog?"

And she politely said, "Um, because they probably did a search for the word 'fuck'...and you use it on your blog...a lot."

Fuckety fuck fuck. My potty mouth has even caught up with me ON MY ANONYMOUS BLOG!

I wish there was room to e-mail my own comments back with the comments I reject.

11 comments:

Shionge said...

Hmmmm..I say just fuck them sraight ;) Oops!!! Did I just say that RK??? *tongue in cheek* ehehheh...

LL Cool Joe said...

Shionge, sorry but your comment is even funnier than Kitty's post! :D It's the "tongue in cheek" bit that got me the most.

See Riot Kitty you are famous for fucking! Could be worse though, I get laods of spam offering me a bigger penis. I'm just wondering who's been talking, and whether they mean for me or in....no I'll leave it there, otherwise you'll be getting a heap load of inappropriate spam!

Fireblossom said...

Yep, I think Miss Pheromone Girl is right.

I got a similar spam after posting something with a bad word in it. I declined their charming offer lol. They wanted me to let them advertise at my poetry blog. Wow, that would have been elegant, right? LOL.

Carri said...

You mean, you're not fucking interested in working with seXis?

Granny Annie said...

I'm worried about you. Did you REALLY have to ask PG "why me?"

pheromone girl said...

*giggle*
You used the word POLITELY about me.
*giggle*

Scarlet said...

I'm with Granny Annie...I'm surprised it's taken them this long to find you. ;)

PS - Love the ad lib!!

Vincent Santa Cruz said...

Yes indeed, the Fuck word can chum you up with some real shitheads. Mind you, just be thankful that you didn't write "fuck marmoset bath filled with jelly jesus". Those bastards never give up.

Grandpa Eddie said...

It really sucks when you get fucktards like this asshat coming in and spamming you like this.

Of course, if we all would stop using that dreaded "F" word....oh wait I already used that didn't I.....FUCK, I messed up....there I go again.

Ya know, it's real hard not to use that word when you're so use to using it. I'm surprised this asshole hasn't hit my blog yet.

smallbytesbythecapital said...

....and yet I'm the one with the "creepy" content.

Pouty Lips said...

"I wish there was room to e-mail my own comments back with the comments I reject." That's the part I despise. The cowards don't let us respond we get the fucking daemon mailer bullshit. fuckety, fuck, fuck.