Saturday, June 27, 2009

Live long(er) and prosper

Mr. RK's grandmother, who was widowed about a year ago, is getting married this month.

"I know it seems fast," she told my mother-in-law, "but we figure we don't have that much time!"

She and her fiance are both in their 80s.

Once again, Hallmark fails me...I looked every single wedding congrats card they had available.

Every. Single. One.

Rule out the uber-religious ones, because even though she is, we aren't, and that would feel disingenuous. Rule out the ones of couples kissing, because she is super religious and, I presume, so is he, because he's a retired pastor.

Rule out the ones - and this is just about every fucking card - that have all kinds of much about having long lives together, blah blah blah, because even if they both live to be 100, it just seems a bit cruel.

Rule out the ones that rhyme because, well, they're just obnoxious. "I hear the sound of wedding bells/I hope your marriage isn't hell." OK, I made that one up.

Add this to the fact that this is someone I have never met. Like my grandparents, Mr. RK's grandparents take no interest in their grandchildren.

But being from the Midwest, I thought it would be impolite not to send a card. And hey, if she is brave enough to go on this adventure one more time, more power to her!

I finally found a suitable one (I think)that will go out today.

So I am sending good wishes down to Florida. They seem very happy and we are happy for them!


Scarlet said...

"Live long(er) and prosper..." I like that one!

I'd settle for a big, happy Congratulations if I were remarrying in my 80s. :)

LL Cool Joe said...

You could always make your own card?

I've done a few discos for couples that have been marrying in their 70's/80's.

I'm always worried that the bass beat will set their pacemakers off or something and they have a heart attack and die.

Remind me not to comment when I've been drinking ok?

Pouty Lips said...

"I hear the sound of wedding bells/I hope your marriage isn't hell." I think it's genius - and it would probably go platinum card issue.

Claire said...

Your rhyming card? I would *so* buy...


Phil said...

I do think it's wonderful when someone at that age can still look to the future rather than mourn the past for their remaining days. The styatistics show that people with companionship live longer. Let's hope it works for them.

The Peach Tart said...

From being around my Mama, you have no idea how freaky seniors can be....good for them

Aliceson said...

My grandparents live in one of those retirement communities (old people hangouts) in Arizona and I was shocked at the number of seniors that remarry.

I hate card shopping with a purple passion! Thankfully I have 2 little cardmakers at home that can bribed with a juice box and a bowl of ice cream to produce a card for any occasion.

JLee said...

That is unusual for folks to get married at that age. I never thought about cards etc. for that!lol

pheromone girl said...

See, I always thought we should start our own greeting card line.

Like "65% marriages end in divorce in less than 5 years..."
"Let's hope you have a friend that's a good, ball busting lawyer."

OR, my personal favorite wedding card idea...

"You may need this..." with a condom on the front and inside it says... "because that weight gain might actually be from the twinkies."

Green tea said...

I just went through something similar. we went to a friends wedding reception Saturday night.
He is 65, she is in her late 50's and I had a terrible time finding a card.
So Pheromome Girl let me know when your card line is ready :D

Good Luck to the newly weds Kitty..

Granny Annie said...

It's pretty rude of the old farts to cause you such stress. (Could you just tell them that?)

Fireblossom said...

What, Jesus doesn't like kissing? No wonder He stayed single!!!

alan said...

There are times I can walk in and the first card that leaps to my hand is perfect and others that you can spend a half hour to find one...let alone the half dozen that are usually on the list when we hit Hallmark!

My Dad, the cynic he was, would have said "if your time is worth "X" and her time is worth "X" then you'd be better off just sticking the money in an envelope and sending it and doing something productive with your time...

I keep trying not to end up quite there!


Darth Weasel said...

you could do whast Billy did for me at my first wedding...send a sympathy card :-)

B said...

They take no interest in their grandkids?! I always find this totally fascinating. As much as my parents seem to not give a flying fuck whether I live or die, my grandparents have always been hugely supportive and communicative. They gave me 300% more than my parents did as a gift after I finished my grad degree, for example. Maybe they're so nice to me b/c I actually call them, though. I'm the only grandkid on one side, and on the other side, the other three are disappointing deadbeats.