Friday, April 17, 2009
As in, Happy Fucking Friday! This has been a looooooooooooooooooong week.
So I thought in light of the last post, it was definitely time for a laugh, and I didn't have to look very hard to find one. I'm reading The Golden Bowl by Henry James, and one of the character's names is - I could not make this up - Fanny Assingham.
Which is even funnier because "fanny" is slang for female bits in the UK. (My dad, an American, found this out the hard way...on a business trip, after meeting with a female British executive, he said, "I'm so tired, I'm going to go back to the hotel and sit on my fanny." Fortunately, she clarified for him...but he was SO embarrassed.)
Anyhow - does anyone really have such an unfortunate name in "real life," you may be wondering? Look no farther than my fourth grade vice principal, Mrs. Assenheimer.
I'm not kidding. As an adult, I have to wonder 1) why she would marry a Mr. Assenheimer, 2) why she would change her name to match, 3) what person at Ellis Island hated the look of these people and stuck them with this translation.
By the way - before you start to feel sorry for her, she was a Grade A Bitch. I have always wondered about Mr. Assenheimer. Was he living a life of quiet suffering? Or did he deserve her? Anyway...
When we - my brother Nik and I - told my dad at the time (Nik was in first grade and I was in fourth), he just couldn't believe it.
But signature dad - imagine growing up with Weird Al, but a little more crude (which he regrets now, since he has a daughter who can't stop swearing) - replied, "I guess that's better than Assenhole!"
PS To make up for the asinine post, here is a cute picture of one of my cats.