Wednesday, April 08, 2009

And speaking of lurkers


Scarlet wrote an interesting post about people who lurk on your blog but don't leave comments. Oddly enough, that topic has been rolling around in my head for a couple of days, too.

No one is compelled to comment, but I've been put in uncomfortable situations when someone I know who was a friend of a friend of a friend (you get it) "found" my blog and didn't tell me they were reading it. I think if you know the person it's sort of dishonest, you know? So at that point I found myself in the position of censoring what I wrote so I wouldn't make trouble.

Well, fuck it.

I also had a "friend" who totally disappeared once I got laid off from my previous job in 2007, where she also worked, give me the lame excuse "I've been lurking on your blog," when I e-mailed her to see what was up, because she said she wanted to get together. Yeah. Unemployed = damaged goods? Or perhaps it was because her slacker boyfriend didn't like it when I recognized what he was. (By the way if you're reading this, you're welcome for the mentoring, the coffees, and introducing you to the site you now write for.)

Sorry for this random, rambling post. I've been trying to think of everything else but the lame agitators who have been making my life at work difficult. Thankfully, they don't actually work in my office...

I have received some interesting gifts this week. My acupuncturist sent me home with vegan minestrone soup - her Sicilian grandmother's recipe - yum yum! And Pheromone Girl, who is saintly enough to listen to all of my rants about everything, including work, and knows the pain-in-the-ass people who are bothering me, gave me a Care Bear coloring book and a box of crayons! (Implication: I am working with children.)

I took it home and Mr. RK said, "There's a Grumpy Bear? I have faith in humanity now!"

We actually own Grumpy Bear. I offered to put him on our bed, but Mr. RK said no thanks.

15 comments:

Sidhe said...

You know lurking sounds so much like stalking, it's scary. I don't mean scary movie scary, more like, ummm, lurking scary.

Cool gifts, I'm particularly enchanted with the Care Bear coloring book (either because I worked with foster children in my previous incarnation or because my name is Carri and it has often been "shortened" to Care Bear, I don't know...WTF?). Maybe, it is just because I remember when they were actually on TV, though I was just a tad (the smallest tad at taht) bit too old for their cartoonish antics (well, I think I'd sold all of my Barbie dolls by then but was still probably watching the Smurfs [well the Smurfs do transcend time and space, right???]).

Mr. RK just doesn't know what he is missing! (Hmmm, is Grumpy Bear in bed anything like make-up sex?).

Claire said...

I don't lurk here...I live here! Heh. I'm so jealous of your Care Bear colouring book!

Cxx

Fireblossom said...

I've got sitemeter, which tells me who visits and when. if you want it just go to the verrrrry bottom of my blog and click on it.

I had one person, a former friend, who never showed up on my sitemeter, but who somehow magically knew when she was the subject of one of my poems. I figured out that she was following my blog anonymously and reading everything in google reader.

pheromone girl said...

Damn, I think you know I'm here. I've been too obvious! Must work harder next time.

I'm glad the silly gift brightened your day. And I think next time I see you, I need to teach you how to really make a voodoo doll. There's something very freeing about poking little pins into plastic...

Aliceson said...

Oh the lurkers! I have several lurkers, which kind of freaks me out bc my blog is part family, part Internet. Sometimes those two things are hard to combine. There are times I wish I hadn't told any family or friends about my blog, but definitely saves me on email and phone timr. They just check out my blog for the latest.

The soup sounds great!

Granny Annie said...

My mother found a written account of my first night drinking with friends in high school. It was then that she suggested I not put anything in writing that everyone can't see. I try to do that and if I have lurkers, it shouldn't matter.

By the way, the card was great! Now I will have you know that I do not sell my chicken's eggs. We use them or give away the excess so you won't be able to rat me out to my girls. LOL Thanks RK. Ron too appreciate your well wishes.

Scarlet said...

It's funny how some people see lurking as a compliment, like having a secret admirer and others see it as creepy, like having a stalker.

I'm trying to figure out who's reading me because someone I know (who supposedly DOES NOT read my blog but knows I have one) is bringing things up from my previous posts (in a subtle way), which makes me believe something's up...in which case it would be VERY creepy!

PS - Pheromone Girl is so cool, isn't she??

Darth Weasel said...

I kind of go back and forth on it. Sadly, my biggest issue with lurking is I love reading the comments, whether brilliant or inane. Over the years I have gotten a few random comments from one-stop shoppers and most interestingly, about a month ago I got a comment on a post I wrote over two years ago. Now THAT is lurking...

as for the people who read it, and yes, I think I know the two you refer to, perhaps if they acted differently in the first place, they would have nothing to worry about...

Fireblossom said...

ATTENTION LURKERS! Try the new Fireblossom lurking ensemble! it features a large, shapeless black outfit, plus MITTENS, so you cannot possibly be tempted into typing anything!!! Take the hassle out of lurking! Buy the Fireblossom lurking ensemble today! But wait, that's not all! Call now and receive, as our free gift to you, a one way ticket to nowhere!

JLee said...

You know, that's partially why I went private. People I work with, etc were wanting to read my blog and it made me uncomfortable! They said "well it's on the internet" but it's different when the people don't know the people you're talking about. Does that make any sense? lol
Have a great un-grumpy weekend :)

vivavavoom said...

I had a comment a little while ago to a post I made from a year ago which was bizarre. my husband recently had a situation with a total asshole pompous blogger who I want to do nothing more than to call out but my husband wants me to not say anything. and I have obviously attracted some 'friend' who was on yours that made comment moderation a necessity, who at first leaves the nastiest comments and I ignore them and then now tries to leave normal messages. WTF. It is all so bizarre. But it your blog, and you should be able to say what you want.
I am glad you got those gofts. Love the coloring book!!
I suggest getting sitemeter. Then you know where they come from and how often they come back to check you out.

Riot Kitty said...

I love the lurking outfit idea! Viva, I had the same experience...he hasn't shown up for awhile after I left him post normal comments, so fingers crossed :)

JLee: it makes perfect sense!

LL Cool Joe said...

I have no idea about lurkers because I have no Stats "thingy" on my blog. I thought I'd end up being paranoid if I did. I have 16 followers, I tend to get that amount of votes if I do a poll so I'm guessing I don't really have many lurkers.

The fact I don't talk about my sexuality probably pisses people off and limits my readership.

Green tea said...

Frustrating when you have people reading your blog with out letting you know.
It has stopped me from doing some posts I really want to do.
I have come close to going Private, but then that takes the fun out of meeting new bloggers.
So maybe someday I will open another Private blog where I can let it all out...:D

Shionge said...

Yo that's so sweet to receive some gifts ya ;D

Yep, I knew just where you are coming from. I knew my friends are reading my blog silently and oh well I don' care...it's me, it's my blog so let's just be ourselves SISTAH :D