Thursday, February 21, 2008


The next time you make a mistake, read these...your fuck-up will pale in comparison:

Bank accidentally gives man $5 million (and then he accidentally took $2 million)

Violinist destroys $1m instrument

Virtuoso musician David Garrett smashed a $1 million violin when he fell over after a concert. (I picture him saying, "Oh, fuck me!!!!! with a British accent.)

Police: Fake $100 Bills Had Lincoln's Image
Not only does crime never pay...neither does falling asleep in history class.

Nude burglar in video cock-up (Yes, this is from a UK web site...American news sites wouldn't have the balls to use this.) From "
A man wearing nothing but thong broke into a house brandishing a kitchen knife, say police. Another day, just another nude burglar story, you might say. His masterstroke, however, was that he filmed himself doing it. And then managed to leave the video behind at the scene of the crime."

Man Orders Coffee, Hold the Pants
Tip for the uninitiated: when you get stoned and need a Dunkin' Donuts fix, get dressed before you get in the car.

Summit Sheriff: Akron thief locks keys in getaway car
If you hold up a gas station convenience store, make sure your keys aren't locked in the batmobile.

Don't you feel better now? :)


Foster Communications said...

Falling over and destroying a $1M violin sounds like something I would do, followed by "Did I do that????"

I love odd/stupid news. I heard one the other day about a man who rode his bike to get $20 in tacos then got mugged for those tacos!

JLee said...

I love those "dumb criminal" stories. There used to be a show on it that was hysterical. I thought I was bad going to the coffee shop in my pajama pants! ha

Riot Kitty said...

J: The taco story is hilarious! Talk about instant karma!

JLee: As long as you don't film yourself robbing the coffee shop...

vivavavoom said...

all the 'man that orders coffee hold the pants' had to do was go through the drive thru. but then again that would mean a stoned person would be behind the wheel. so moral of the story...if you want to get stoned and drive naked to get doughnuts, have a designated sober driver and go to a drive thru!!

My kids are going to love these pearls of wisdom I am passing on to them someday. hee hee.

Darth Weasel said...

what is REALLY scary is none of these geniuses qualifies for the Darwin Awards...