Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Top 10 Tuesday

Taking the lead from Joey again...

It's only 8 days until our organization's first-ever gala dinner, and I can't fucking wait until it's over. Try squeezing your first signature event into 3 1/2 months with grumpy people and tell me how YOU do!

So here are 10 things I definitely won't miss...

1. At the top of my list, the Monday Horror Meetings. They're DONE! FINITO! NO MORE!! That shriek you heard earlier this afternoon from downtown Portland was my fucking joyful noise. Today was the last one! THE! LAST! ONE!!!! DESSERT, I tell you!

2. Seeing ye olde bastarde fucke, who claimed to our board that he is "doing all of the work," even though he really hasn't done a goddamned thing except interfere and micromanage, each week at said meetings.

3. Seeing my boss get chewed out by the blond bitch when she decides to show up to the meetings.

4. Hearing, "But this is so close to your guys' walk!" when people are asked to help us sell tickets.

5. Having people call and ask if they can get in - TO A FUNDRAISER - for free.

6. Going downtown to an old person's wannabe snooty club for the meetings.

7. Almost getting rear-ended in the parking garage of this club by teenagers driving their parents' Mercedes.

8. Hearing people ask (mind you, the same people, asking over and over), "How is the event going?" and having to make a polite reply, instead of saying, "It fucking sucks and I hate my life and can't wait until this is over!"

9. Having to refer to an ex-politician as "Senator so-and-so," because - hey! - he's no longer a senator. He lost. I voted for his opponent. I know this is what's done, but I still think it's stupid. You don't call an ex your current partner, do you?

10. Hearing, "When we do this next year..." Because if we do this next year, things will be different - different timing, different committee, different circumstances - or I'll go home and eat enough cheese enchiladas to make myself explode, thereby not having to be on the planning committee.

I told my boss I am bringing in a huge cake the day after the event. And both of us are going to eat the whole thing.

The END.


Fireblossom said...

Sooo...how is the event going?


PS--there is an award for you at Objets D'art.

LL Cool Joe said...

Right....so you are enjoying work at the moment then? Any chance of a couple of free tickets?

I dunno about a large cake, I think you need a large bottle of gin!

Thanks for the mention. :)

pheromone girl said...

How hysterically funny. You didn't, however, mention the blonde-nails done-suv driving bitches that line the halls of said club, over-exercising to make up for the fact that nobody wants to touch them, naked or otherwise, because they're bitchy. Ugly. And uber-thin to the point of disgusting. *Get back on the stairmaster, honey, and burn off what's left of your ass* Sheesh.

Are you saving me cake??

Darth Weasel said...

I think you are missing the real point. Knowing the, uh, "quality" of people who are in the Senate, Congress, etc., they are referred to as "Senator" not as a sign of respect to them but as a warning to the rest of us.

Like a red flag: "Attention: The person you are about to come in contact with is probably a hardened criminal who has done great damage in this country already"

Scarlet said...

These are great! I love hearing what you're really thinking behind that courteous smile. :)

Your #9 reminded me of the time I met my friend's dad and asked, "You were a professional golfer, right?" We were at dinner and the whole table got quiet when he answered (with a major attitude), "According to the PGA, once a golfer always a golfer." I wasn't even embarrassed because he sort of pissed me off. I smiled politely and said, "Really? I didn't know that" and kept eating my pasta...but it was an awkward 3 seconds.

Shionge said...

Yo SISTAH!!!! I missed all your 'fucking' hehehheeh....

I know what you mean, I hope you are leaving some crumbs for me ya ;D

Riot Kitty said...

FB: Thanks! I love it!
Joey: If you lived here, I'd TOTALLY want you to come, so you, me and Pheromone Girl could make fun of everyone else!
PG: You'll get cake!
DW: That is fantastic!
Scarlet: That's fucking hilarious. One's always a pompous ass, apparently.
Shionge: Hello! LOL!

♥ Braja said...

You and Michel over at factsoptional.blogspot.com? Twins separated at birth...

Riot Kitty said...

Braja, I will check it out!

Riot Kitty said...

Braja, I will check it out!

Pouty Lips said...

Keep your eyes on the prize...think about all of the people who will benefit from the fundraiser. Or, puke on the blond bitch's shoes during the event.

Green tea said...

But you do it so well...:D