Pardon my language

I got this e-mail from my stepmom's mom, and just had to share it! Having made plenty of mistakes in other languages myself - including asking for tuna ice cream, asking my host father if he had an erection instead of an umbrella, and saying I was pregnant instead of embarrassed - I thought these were fantastic.

*Ninja edit* Darth reminded me of a newspaper headline from years ago. In Spanish, the use of the tilde - ~ - is very important. For instance, año means year, but ano means ass. There is a beach in California called Año Nuevo...and the newspaper headline read, "Ano Nuevo needs volunteers." I got a lot of good laughes about that one!

Never mind other languages...it's hard enough to speak English in the UK sometimes. The first time I went to London, my dad and I kept trying to figure out the laundry form in the hotel. I thought pants were pants (as opposed to underwear), and what were knickers? Somehow it all got sorted out...although the staff might have been confused by what we wrote on the form, which surely did not match what we sent to the laundry.

When Mr. RK and I went in 2007, we couldn't stop laughing at this sign, which we promptly sent to his friend Dave on our return:

Wonderful English from Around the World

Cocktail lounge, Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel , Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel , Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.