Thursday, July 16, 2009

Pardon my language

I got this e-mail from my stepmom's mom, and just had to share it! Having made plenty of mistakes in other languages myself - including asking for tuna ice cream, asking my host father if he had an erection instead of an umbrella, and saying I was pregnant instead of embarrassed - I thought these were fantastic.

*Ninja edit* Darth reminded me of a newspaper headline from years ago. In Spanish, the use of the tilde -The advancement of gender equality and feminisms are arguably d ~ - is very important. For instance, The advancement of gender equality and feminisms are arguably daño means year, but ano means ass. There is a beach in California called Año Nuevo...and the newspaper headline read, "Ano Nuevo needs volunteers." I got a lot of good laughes about that one!

Never mind other languages...it's hard enough to speak English in the UK sometimes. The first time I went to London, my dad and I kept trying to figure out the laundry form in the hotel. I thought pants were pants (as opposed to underwear), and what were knickers? Somehow it all got sorted out...although the staff might have been confused by what we wrote on the form, which surely did not match what we sent to the laundry.

When Mr. RK and I went in 2007, we couldn't stop laughing at this sign, which we promptly sent to his friend Dave on our return:

Wonderful English from Around the World

Cocktail lounge, Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel , Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel , Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

15 comments:

Aliceson said...

LMAO!

Darth Weasel said...

problem is, too many of those signs are better in current form than if written "correctly"...and I remember you telling me of a Spanish newspaper wishing everybody a happy butt year...

LL Cool Joe said...

You ain't takin the mick out of us Brits are you? ;)

And how posh you are to have laundry service in a hotel!

I must say whenever I'm in the States and I talk to anyone I may as well be talking in French because they haven't got a clue what I'm saying.

smallbytesbythecapital said...

I'm going to laugh myself to sleep tonight after reading that... I am so sharing with others as well!!

pheromone girl said...

What's the address of the Laundry Room in Rome? I'm so there... Scarlet??? ROAD TRIP? To Rome?

JLee said...

hahahah...I still like the "bung hole" one. It reminds me of "Office Space" when the neighbor says "watch your corn hole" lol

The Peach Tart said...

These are all so good. You could write a blog piece about each one.

Drop your trousers here for the best result is my favorite but I'm just twisted like that.

Mama Zen said...

These are hilarious!

-RageBoXx said...

"In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES
"

Ah, morbid humor - never gets old does it?

"LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME."

Make that a law, implement it through out the entire Earth, and then ban fugly chicks and all males, except me and BAM! - we've attained Eutopia! Damn.

Alec Beattie said...

There's a local restaurant (in the loosest sense of the word) who used to advertise that all their salads contained 'a whole half tomato'??!!

Scarlet said...

The Bung Hole sign is hilarious...and yes I've even used "embarasada" instead of "avergonzada" many times!

Sidhe said...

These are great! I especially wonder about the flattening of underwear. What does that really mean?

Green tea said...

Ooo I like the Rome sign !! :D

Pouty Lips said...

Airport in Japan: For restrooms go back toward your behind.

Riot Kitty said...

I found some delightful old signs in flea markets in London on a couple of trips.

My favorite was from an old golf course: "Gentlemen must wash their balls in the sink before leaving the club."