Saturday, July 25, 2009

What not to do when you get a ticket.

The hoopla surrounding the arrest of Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr., reminded me of another thing I did when someone pissed me off.

Background: I am more mellow now than I ever have been in my life. I am a biracial person who some people mistake for a white person. When I was age 16-21, I was kind of a hardcore bitch when I didn't get my way. (Ho ho, you ask, what has changed exactly?!)

So I am in a bagel shop getting lunch. I am a junior in high school. I am apparently getting a ticket because my car is a few inches into a green zone. (To this day, I don't know what the green zone is - only that I wasn't supposed to park there.)

I run outside mortally embarrassed as a group of bitchy girls I dislike is watching from inside the shop.

I apologize to the cop and say, hey, I'm only a few inches into the green zone.

He says, too bad for you.

I ask, "Why don't you ticket the people who are parked in the disabled parking spots?"

He replies, "I'm going there next."

I say, I also can't afford this ticket.

He looks at me and says, "I can't retract the ticket now that I have entered it," displaying a hand-held computer thing.

Then he smirks. SMIRKS! And says,"And you know what? Even if I could retract it, I wouldn't."

Then I blow a gasket. "Well then," I say, "Fuck you!"

He steps back and looks at me skeptically.

I continue, "And I bet I know why you're out here handing out parking tickets instead of doing real police work. You fucked up and you got assigned to parking duty, didn't you?"

He hangs his head and says nothing. I take my ticket and without another word, go back to my bagel.

Looking back on this, I'm sort of surprised I didn't get cited, arrested, or something like that. But then again, I just happened to hit the nail on the head.

It was actually kind of satisfying paying that ticket after I got to tell him off!


G said...

I came close to getting arrested once on something similar.

Got into a car accident, and while I'm sitting in the car looking for some insurance info, the cop comes up and asks me, "What happened here?" (here being a smashed up car with busted windshield, etc.)

I say, "What do you think happened here?"

Only thing that saved me was that I was injured and in pain.

BTW: Nice blog, found it through LL Cool Joe's.

Phil said...

w! You had some serious kahunas when you were a teenage girl, but then again, most teenage girls do. I'm glad I only have sons.

Claire said...

I swear, you're one of my heroes. Way to tell someone off - I freaking get irked by smirkers!


themom said...

You go girl! You may have still had the ticket to deal with...but the satisfaction of telling the prick off has its own rewards.

Dawn said...

HAHA! It feels good sometimes just to... flip the fuck out.

Aliceson said...

I have never heard of a green zone either, sounds like a parking ticket revenue scam to me.

It was shitty of that officer to take his frustrations with his job out on you, but good for you telling him off. He needed to be reminded that he was being a jerk.

The Peach Tart said...

I'm a smart mouth bitch too. Surprised I'm not in jail.

LL Cool Joe said...

Now if I said anything like that I'd end up being arrested.

So you didn't mention the size of his dick? That's a first! ;)

Scarlet said...

You have the biggest cojones I've ever seen on a girl...and I'm sure I'm not the first one to tell you that.

Fireblossom said...

Was it a Rolls or a Bentley, darling?

Darth Weasel said...

One reason so many police get so little respect in this country is they demonstrate time and again they are not about justice or common sense but rather about filling quotas, bringing in revenue through citations, abusing power, and having the "acceptable" arrest records and conviction rates rather than actually pursuing that antiquated, absurd notion that used to be called "justice".

Granny Annie said...

Okay, we admire your gumption. So, since we encourage your tirades, does that mean we're all going to have to pitch in for your bail when you get arrested one of these days? Or, are you planning to call Obama?

JLee said...

Wow! Sounds like you touched on a nerve there ;)
You are gutsy woman!

Green tea said...

You were a lucky kitty !! :D