Thursday, July 03, 2008

So do you come here often?

I could have asked that question at my first on-the-books job...

Scarlet and Coby cracked me up with their "worst interview moments" on Scarlet's post today...I couldn't top them, but it reminded me of my first office job, which lasted an entire two weeks.

Looking back, I don't know how I lasted two hours!

I found it through a work experience program in my junior year of high school: get a job, and attend a meeting once a month instead of having to go to class. It sounded good.

Stanford Hospital told the work experience supervisor, a prim (to say the least) woman who had been my English teacher the year before and hadn't stepped out of 1955, that the position would entail talking to patients, post-surgery, and following up to see if they had any complications. (This would probably violate HIPPA laws these days, come to think of it.)

So there I was, 16 years old, using a fake name over the phone to who'd had penile implant surgery.

And asking them how it was going!

This was 15 years ago, but I still remember one guy completely denying he'd had the surgery. Another guy went into graphic detail about how much of it had "come back." ("First, I was about half the size I used to be, and now, I'm about a third of the size I used to be...")

The best call was to an 82-year-old man who said, "The only problem is I have too many girlfriends now, ha ha!"

The (all-male) department was very understanding when I quit and went to work in a dentist's office.

So was the work experience supervisor.

But with my first check, I bought my dad a Polo shirt that he wore with pride - and quite a few laughs - until it fell apart many years later.

So spill it - what's the funniest/weirdest/most humiliating job you've ever had?


Scarlet said...

Penile implant surgery follow-up girl...that's quite a title! ;) I can't top you there!

Great story!

JLee said...

That is too funny! I hate to admit it, but I agreed to do a "lingerie fashion show" one time when I was about 22. I thought it was a runway show, but it ended up being at some seedy hotel bar. I had to walk around and ask people if they'd like to buy what I had on! It was awful...and I made like $40.

Mike D said...

As you know, I had lots:

I worked in a newspaper print shop and met two bounty hunters trying to find a guy who used to work there.

I was the only white guy in an all-black CPA firm.

I "supervised" (read: watched them do stuff) workers who laid cable (not like that, sickos)throughout a facility.

I worked in a telemarketing place for a few hours.

There are more, but I won't bore anybody else....that'll be for a special guest blogger...

Mike D

Leslie said...

My worst job was Easter bunny. Can you imagine being 3 feet tall and having some gigantic rabbit hop over to you? I sent kids into hysterics.

Riot Kitty said...

OK, all - are we agreed that the Easter bunny takes the cake?

Darth Weasel said...

agree with Mike...did telemarketing for a short time. Worst. Job. Ever.

Green tea said...

I worked for a couple months at a
factory on the line.
What a horrid way to make a living.
I ended up taking a civil service test and got a job at a State Mental Hospital, those people were saner
then many I met outside the walls.
Loved that job.