Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Breaking news! This is blog #200!
If you were at The Oregonian, that would be considered hot stuff.
Since 9/11, they've felt compelled to have a "breaking news" link on their web site. The only problem is that there's not always something newsworthy to post.
So during the past week we've had such critically important stories as, "Eugene man sentenced for selling fake software," "Clearing today, high 73 degrees," and - I am not making this up - "Man on Max train regains lost hat."
Unless that hat was the decomposing corpse of an ex-president, pray tell, why is this "breaking" news?
If they're that desperate, they should call my house.
I have some ideas:
"Fluffy white fuck pees on floor - AGAIN!"
"New cat gets his tail caught in blinds, hangs like pendulum" (I wish I was making that up.)
"Dust continues to build; marriage threatened by mutual refusal to clean"
"Riot Kitty and Mr. Riot Kitty have sex without condoms!"
"Mr. Riot Kitty goes on strike; sick of making DQ runs"
"Crisis! Riot Kitty ponders worldwide shortage of cheese enchiladas"
So what would you write?