Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Thanks to my dad (and my brother, who helped scout out great seats), Mr. Riot Kitty and I went to see one of our comedic heroes, John Cleese, last night.
My first question, when my dad asked if we wanted tickets for a Christmas present, was, "He's coming to Portland?" I don't exactly live in the boonies but we don't get as many big name acts as, say, San Francisco.
The show was sort of an overview of behind-the-scenes stuff from his career - which he maintains essentially happened by accident - and a bit of bitching about his third ex-wife, to whom he is ordered to pay $20 million.
I'm not kidding.
I've never understood the concept of alimony for people who are physically and mentally able to support themselves financially. It just makes me fucking sick.
$20 million for sleeping with someone (or maybe not) for 16 years!
So he mapped it out with a slide show - she got about $3,650 a day. $1,200 just for waking up in the morning. $150 to go get an aspirin.
For $20 million, he estimated that he could have married and divorced Brigitte Nielsen 3.3 times, Pam Anderson 8.5 times, and "anyone from Gresham" - a suburb of Portland - 2,000 times!
I hope he laughs all the way to the bank on this tour. I couldn't help thinking, what a bitch!