Thanks to my dad (and my brother, who helped scout out great seats), Mr. Riot Kitty and I went to see one of our comedic heroes, John Cleese, last night.
My first question, when my dad asked if we wanted tickets for a Christmas present, was, "He's coming to Portland?" I don't exactly live in the boonies but we don't get as many big name acts as, say, San Francisco.
The show was sort of an overview of behind-the-scenes stuff from his career - which he maintains essentially happened by accident - and a bit of bitching about his third ex-wife, to whom he is ordered to pay $20 million.
I'm not kidding.
I've never understood the concept of alimony for people who are physically and mentally able to support themselves financially. It just makes me fucking sick.
$20 million for sleeping with someone (or maybe not) for 16 years!
So he mapped it out with a slide show - she got about $3,650 a day. $1,200 just for waking up in the morning. $150 to go get an aspirin.
For $20 million, he estimated that he could have married and divorced Brigitte Nielsen 3.3 times, Pam Anderson 8.5 times, and "anyone from Gresham" - a suburb of Portland - 2,000 times!
I hope he laughs all the way to the bank on this tour. I couldn't help thinking, what a bitch!
14 comments:
It's a shame that some old men today have to go back on tour and work like schmucks just because their ex-wife needs a new ivory backscratcher. This guy has to go on tour. Freakin' Hulk Hogan had to go back into wrestling. Mick Jagger will be touring until the day he dies to pay off all his exes and their ungodly financial demands.
Okay, can't really feel sorry for Mick. That guy really needs to start using rubbers.
wigfg - It goes both ways - my stepmom had to fork over half of everything to a rotten bastard who refused to work 8 out of the 10 years they were married. WTF?
E: Thanks! I went to your blog but it wouldn't let me leave a comment :(
I've been involved in many divorce cases and I still can't believe the way the law works when it comes to alimony. Bizarre, actually.
Btw, if he comes to Miami, I should give away tickets to his show as Christmas presents...anything to help him collect some of his $$$ back!
That's absolutely ridiculous. There's a name for women like that. I'd be ashamed.
Darling, you're so funny! Support ourSELVES, where DO you come up with this stuff? ;-)
I've worked so hard for so long that I can't imagine demanding that kind of money.
S: Bizarre is right! He's only doing a West Coast tour for now, but I hope it's a raging success and he does a national one...and makes a hell of a lot of money. Either that or she dies. Just kidding.
PT: Exactly!
FB: Oh dahling, I know - it's such a funny idea ;)
Lynn: I can't imagine what I would do with a tenth of that money. How many people could you feed? House? Put through college?
And the worst thing, everyone - she's a psychotherapist. No dummy. So not only can she afford to take care of herself, she also knows better.
It's just embarrassing to be female with tramps like this hanging about.
I never got into Monty Python, the humour just didn't work on me. maybe coz my brother was into it, and I couldn't like anything he did.
But, Fawlty Towers was just brilliant!
Did you ever watch "Some Mother's Do 'Ave Em?"
Although there's probably two sides to the story. He's on his third ex-wife. Doesn't say much about his abilities as a husband. Whats he want his money for. To get married again!!
Joey: No, I haven't seen it.
MC: What other side of demanding $20M that you haven't earned yourself can there be? Greed, pure and simple. Why does he want it? Presumably because he earned it and she didn't. He came out and said he's never getting married again, and I can't blame him.
glad you got to see him live. now, if he would just headline a tour with Izzard as co-headliner, your life would be complete! Would you like cake or death for that show?
Come on girl, cut some slack for a few women who may deserve the $20 mil. I sure did afer my first marriage.
I firmly believe in pre nups.
Do not understand why people don't use them.
i hear he LOVES Eddie Izzard, too.
but when i think too hard about a double header tour like that, my head goes all explody.
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