Saturday, October 31, 2009

Gene Simmons, I'll never fuck you. Ever.


Even if I wasn't single - and even when I was single - I can tell you with supreme confidence that no member of the band KISS could have or could lure me into bed.

Somehow, according to the band's frontman Gene Simmons, more than 4,600 women have - and continue to (despite the fact that he's married) - slept with him.

My friend Bernadette shared this NPR interview with me, where Simmons - who, by the way, is a first-rank capitalist, with a marketing company, and a reality show where he and his partner televised their facelifts - says that every (heterosexual) guy wants to be like him, fucking his way across the universe. The only thing that stops them, he says, is that they don't have as much money as he does.

"Money is the single most important thing on the planet," he says.

My first question to my friend was, "What about the makeup?!" Terry Gross asked that question in the interview, and he replied, "I wash it off."

I'd say very few of the men I have come in contact with want to be a swashbuckling asshole. Most of them want or have wanted their fair share of conquests, but I don't think they're all pigs at heart.

"If you want to welcome me with open arms," he tells her, "you have to welcome me with open legs."

What do you think?

PS Gene Simmons - I don't care how rich you are, I'll never fuck you! With or without the makeup.

20 comments:

Fireblossom said...

Ugh. What a pig. It's a sign of how low the Arts & Entertainment cable network has sunk that they televise this idiot, and hard to believe that enough people actually watch it to keep it on the air.

Guess what, Gene? (not even his real name btw...he named himself after the actress Jean Simmons. Issues much?) That's just the view with your head up your ass.

Pouty Lips said...

I would never fuck him. Fuck him over maybe.

Pouty Lips said...

OK, you really got me this time. All Halloween night I've been picturing your blog with a picture of you with the words below it saying: "Gene Simmons, you will never, ever have THIS!" It's made me laugh all night.

Darth Weasel said...

I can say I am one of those people he does not believe exists. Perfectly happy with my loved and loving wife. No desire to stray. Never have.

I much prefer being able to treasure wife, family and friends for being wife, family and friends than for being a hazy memory of 15 seconds of my life...maybe 20 on a good day :-)

Riot Kitty said...

FB: I think he probably has a tiny dick, too, among other issues.

PT: LOL! I'd post something lewd in the way of pictures, but sometimes my brother reads my blog :O

Darth: 20 seconds on a good day? How is it that you're happily married?! LOL! Just kidding...totally agree with you.

Green tea said...

I really don't know what to say to that, it never crossed my mind
Now it could be worse it could be Mick Jaeger :D

Lynn said...

I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. Yuck!

whatigotsofar said...

It's all in the tongue, apparently.

Claire said...

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. To me, he's the anti-George Clooney. Doesn't do it for me at all. Whereas Clooney....

Cxx

LL Cool Joe said...

What a twat. Gotta wonder what kind of woman would sleep with him though.

Scarlet said...

I didn't know this about Gene Simmons (or that Gene isn't his real name), but now I have to wonder why such a fuss is made of him and his "family jewels!" I've put on that show when I've had insomnia and never stayed awake long enough to see how it ends.

Patty said...

No fucking way. So many reasons! Let's cast aside his sexist comments and look at that bouffant hairdo, reminds me of my grandma! YUCK! I have watched the show and feel sorry for his kids. He is a clueless egomaniac

themom said...

I just threw up a little in my mouth. I despise arrogance for one thing, and why would anyone bed these guys, as they brag about their conquests. Nope - not happening (as if they'd ask!)

Riot Kitty said...

My other thought is, perhaps he is in the closet? Sad thing is he has kids who are growing up hearing him spew this shit - and watching their mother put up with it.

The Peach Tart said...

Oh hell no

JLee said...

I'm with you on this one. The weird thing is, he has been with his partner for years and years, unlike so many "Hollywood" couples. I guess after he had his thousands of women, he was done. ha

Riot Kitty said...

JLee: Apparently she puts up with him fucking around! He isn't finished yet.

vivavavoom said...

Money makes the dick look good....that's the plain truth! because there is NO way Gene...ugly ass Simmons.. could get laid...if he didn't have $$$$. Look at all the reality 'stars'. UGLY! but they have money and a TV camera following them. so they have all the free women they want. His wife and him have an arrangement and she likes the lifestyle so she probably doesn't ask any questions as long as he pays the bills.

G said...

Don't you just love his convoluted explanations as to why he doesn't want to get married.

drstrangelove said...

Gene Simmons has a tiny penis surrounded by a forest of gray pubic hair.