Thursday, October 22, 2009

Tip for the uninitiated

Now I know that people have used dead relatives as an excuse to get out of things. Someone I knew in high school, for instance, worked at the same shop that her sister had worked at previously. On her last day, her boss pulled her aside and said, "Oh, by the way. You and your sister are the only people I've employed who had three grandmothers die while they were here." You see, M and her sister had used the excuse a total of three times. Oops.

However, here's a tip for the uninitiated: if you use death as an excuse to get out of a meeting, make sure you don't kill off relatives of which you only have one, more than one time.

The board member that I hate - HATE HATE HATE HATE! - OK, I don't really hate anyone but she comes pretty damn close - the same one who is constantly criticizing everyone else, while promising the moon and yet never delivering any work - missed a meeting last night. She said her dad had died.

And then I find out that six months ago, she canceled a meeting with another person in our organization who happens to be a friend of mine, because - guess what? - she was making funeral plans. For her dad.

Does she have more than one?

I told my boss and for the first time since I met him, I saw his jaw drop.

But over a work dinner tonight (and I think he had had a few beers after work), he blurted out, "Shit! That woman is NUTS! And I put her on the board!"

Then he looked at me sheepishly, because we both work for a mental health organization, and said, "And I don't use that word lightly, because you and I are nuts, too!"

So now I am off to our conference for work this weekend...I expect more strange stuff and more laughs.


The Peach Tart said...

Honey I think we're all nuts.

LL Cool Joe said...

Gotta say, once when I was running my own graphic design and print company, I lied about an uncle dying. I was about to lose my biggest customer which would have been the end of my business. No excuse at all.

I've felt guilty about that lie ever since.

Granny Annie said...

I NEVER lied about a death in the family. That could be a jinx and cause that person to really die. Not that I am superstitious or anything:)

Lynn said...

That seems like bad Karma to me - saying your dad died twice.

Mama Zen said...

I'm thinking it's bad karma, too.

Darth Weasel said...

Perhaps you can console him with the anecdote regarding Brig. Gen. Anthony McAuliffe who, when the Germans surrounded him and demanded surrender, replied, "Ah, nuts!" How is that related? I will tell you when I get back from preparing funeral arrangements for my Grandma

Fireblossom said...

Me, I just call in queer. ;-)

G said...


I work in state government, and one of the things that gets abused to the NTH DEGREE is family funeral days. You're allowed to take up to three days per occasion. And in our state, family funeral is defined as any close family member (husband, wife, children) that lives with you who passes away.

I've had people in one calendar year take 18 family funeral days.

Pouty Lips said...

Fireblossom's commnet was hilarious. I can picture: Oh, hi, bossman, yea, It's me. I'm calling in bi.

Wild Child said...

You would think that things that "adults" do would quit shocking me. I work with "adults" (I use that term loosely) and they bicker, gossip and fight like teenagers, or whine like two year olds though most of them are well over retirement age. How do they live with themselves? All I ask is for a professional attitude. Is that too much? Business parenting anyone?

(found you via Aliceson, you are a riot!)

Scarlet said...

Who lies about a death in the family? That's sick...and nuts!

Btw, I love the conversations you have with your boss. He sounds ideal!

Riot Kitty said...

PT: I think you are right!
Joey: I don't think you should feel guilty at this point. And you didn't kill off two dads, did you?
GA: I am a bit superstitious.
Lynn and MZ: I agree.
Darth: Very funny!
G: That is un-fucking-believable!
PL: One of us should try it?
WC: Thanks for stopping by!
Scarlet: I agree. And my boss is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

You never know, dude. Maybe that woman's wife was a hoe and had two husbands? o.O

Or she was talking about real dad and step dad.

Or...she's just whack.