Tuesday, November 10, 2009

What the hell?

Have we grown so accustomed to public shooting episodes that we don't even discuss them?

A man killed his estranged wife in a drug testing lab in a suburb 20 minutes from where I live. It made national headlines but we barely discussed it at work, and no one from anywhere else in the country asked me about it.

This story in our local paper pointed out something that made me sick to my stomach:

Homicide was the second leading cause of death on the job for women in 2000, said the private nonprofit Family Violence Prevention Fund. The organization has found that nearly one in four women experience domestic violence in their lives and that at least 24 percent of all abused women say the abuse had forced them to be late for work or to miss it altogether.

What the fuck? Why are we still in the dark ages? Why are women so undervalued that we as a society allow this kind of violence to continue? My state is one of 13 that lets abused women quit their jobs and move and get unemployment in order to flee their abusers. Why only 13? What happens to everyone else while they worry about not just their safety, but starving if they try to get away?

I'd rather be writing about bunny dicks.


LL Cool Joe said...

Society allows this kind of violence, to everyone including kids, because no one really gives a shit about anyone else apart from themselves and their small little world.

The Peach Tart said...

This is so sad.

G said...


My general observation in regards to stuff like this, that it's gonna take something even more higher profile than what happened here in CT (see Thurman v City of Torrington. landmark domestic violence lawsuit against the police dept for failing to protect Tracy Thurman from her estranged husband Buck Thurman. Went all the way to the US Supreme Court and was made into a couple of TV movies) in order to get everyone off of their collective asses and do something.

Aliceson said...

Unbelievable! As much as I think that money should be given to high profile causes like breast cancer research, I think people often forget about situations like this and the toll that domestic violence takes on not only a family but an entire community. Pink ribbons everywhere but not hardly a mention when a woman is gunned down at work by her abusive husband. So sad.

Fireblossom said...

I'm nodding at G's comment. I saw the Nancy McKeon movie about that and was shocked by it.

I never stop being amazed at how ubiquitous and casual misogyny is, here and around the world.

Twin...let the bunny dicks go. You've GOT to move on. LOL!

Lynn said...

We lost two female co-workers at my former corporate job to domestic violence. Fortunately both husbands are in prison where I hope they will stay.

Logical Libby said...

Have you read the book "Half the Sky?" Now, that is an eye opener. Violence against women is just ONE of the issues facing the international community.

Riot Kitty said...

Joey and PT: Sad but true.
G: We actually studied that case in college! I couldn't believe the part about the cop taking a piss before responding to that final call.
A: You're right - and I think part of it is because the victims are ashamed.
FB: It just makes me so MAD. Not the bunny dicks ;)
Lynn: Wow. That is horrifying. Hope they stay there as well.
Libby: Thanks for the recommendation.

Darth Weasel said...

I think others have discussed the symptom quite well, so I will, as usual, take another tack.

As I type this, for the second time in two school days since I got back from TN, the roommates kids stayed up too late, did not go to school. Ages 7 and 11.

They run the house. twice yesterday they were told not to do vasrious things or "we are not going anywhere".

They did those actions several times. They went places anyway.

bad parenting.

Bad schholing...where is the truant officer saying, "why are your kids not in school?"

The underlying point; no accountability and no responsibility.

The kids no there is no consequence for ill bahavior.

The parents do not take responsibility to teach their kids how to behave in society.

Some day these two girls will be out there producing more kids like themselves with no concept of how to interact with other people. The parents will have a hard time staying together, but will then find other people to have the same type relationships with.

Not that I am down on them. I actually like them.

But they are prime examples of how society is today.

People have so lost site of things that used to hold society together that they do not look to ensure that everyone is cared for, that when people get out of line there are consequences, and as a result people become ever more self-centered.

The ironic bit of this is that as they become more self-centered, life gets worse for them as well as those around them.

yet the blame is layed on others.

And the results are people snap, go out and shoot others or enact physical and mental violence.

In their mind, why shouldn't they? They have never paid a price before...why will this time be different?

It is horrible and evil and wrong.

And going to continue.

You are welcome for this little ray of sunshine :-)

Scarlet said...

Only 13 states?? I need to do more research on this. I keep getting calls at work from women who sound terrified but don't have the money or the courage to do anything about their situations.

If I were the boss, these would be my pro bono cases.

G said...

Cop taking a piss? That I didn't know.

But in my state, why doesn't that surprise me?

Passion Fruit said...

As bad as domestic violece towards women is sexual abuse towards children, especially one's OWN children. These kind of things happening are beyond the understanding of a normal, humane person.

I came by to find such a serious matter being discussed but I actually had something to give you! It's waiting for you on my blog!

Granny Annie said...

I sat in the hospital emergency room with a friend who had been beaten by her husband. He hit her first with a hammer then he held her head in the car door and slammed it repeatedly. She was barely recognizable to me. She was a mom, a medical professional, a funny and wise woman who married the wrong person and had a child by him. At the first sign of violence she got a restraining order against him and started divorce proceedings. He continually violated the restraining order and the police did not seem concerned. This last episode was horrendous and she was able to identify him even though his attorney said "Are you sure it was him? How do you know it was him?" He went to prison but was due out in 8 years. I will not know where she goes or ever see her again when he is out.

Oh if only we could just discuss bunny dicks.

Riot Kitty said...

S: I know you would do that :)
G: Is it that bad in CT in general?
PF: Definitely beyond my understanding. Thanks, I will go check out your blog.
GA: That makes me so MAD. Why should someone like that ever get out?

G said...

Yeah, it can be.

A couple of examples if I may be so bold as to take up a little space:

1) We have a man on death row, Ronald Brecton, for killing his wife and son (who previously killed his father when he was a teenager and got away with it)

2) Last year, we had a Judicial Marshal (the people who work at the courthouses here) sneak a gun into the courthouse and murder his estranged wife and her lawyer, before eating his gun.

3) We have another person who is either on death row or serving life w/o parole, Richard Craft, who killed his wife and disposed of her body with a woodchipper.

These are some of our more notorious cases that had some basis in domestic violence.

So yeah, it can get to be that bad here.

Riot Kitty said...

G: You couldn't make this stuff up, could you? Wow.

Anonymous said...

and many claim that we are the superior beings on earth....

G said...

Unfortunately, no.

The only reason why I know about the early part of Ronald Brecton is that I was called on to help search for a coroner's file that went missing (state library has records/files from all of the county coroners prior to their abolishment in the mid 70's)

Beyond that, this state is somewhat backwards/lackadaisial in things such as this.