Did you ever see the Saturday Night Live skit called "The Planet of Honest People"? It was hilarious! (Yes, I know, but after the 1970s, SNL *was* funny in bits and pieces, trust me.)
My boss and I were discussing, awhile back, how great it would be if we could tell everyone exactly what we thought. After spending way too long on the phone with one of our notoriously whiny, time-wasting committee members (why do those traits go hand in hand?), he said he really needed to sit down with her and say, "You know what? You're smart, and you have a good background for the work we do- but you are FUCKING DIFFICULT!" (You see why I like working for this man, don't you?)
"Well, I wouldn't say it exactly like that - but you get the point," he said.
Wouldn't it be great if we all did that? Or would the earth blow up with the release of tension?
I am an honest person, and though I am diplomatic with people I don't care for, unfortunately, I have a poker face. I'm sure they figure it out!
One of our board members, who is a dirty old man and a major pain in the ass, was grilling me over the phone last week (when my boss is on vacation he acts like he's the boss, even though he's a senile old fuck), and finally he said, "Oh, I'm just trying to get to you."
My reply: "It's working!"
However, while I am very honest with most people, I wish I could tell him the following: You are a nasty, dirty-minded old fuck and I can't believe you got four people to marry you, let alone not kill you. I have a hard enough time sitting through a one-hour meeting with you, or a five-minute phone call, and seeing that you have five or six children, I can't believe one of THEM hasn't strangled you by now, either!
I hope you get every nasty, terrible discomfort that can come with old age, and also permanent laryngitis.
Then my job will be much easier.