Sunday, August 30, 2009

The planet of honest people

Did you ever see the Saturday Night Live skit called "The Planet of Honest People"? It was hilarious! (Yes, I know, but after the 1970s, SNL *was* funny in bits and pieces, trust me.)

My boss and I were discussing, awhile back, how great it would be if we could tell everyone exactly what we thought. After spending way too long on the phone with one of our notoriously whiny, time-wasting committee members (why do those traits go hand in hand?), he said he really needed to sit down with her and say, "You know what? You're smart, and you have a good background for the work we do- but you are FUCKING DIFFICULT!" (You see why I like working for this man, don't you?)

"Well, I wouldn't say it exactly like that - but you get the point," he said.

Wouldn't it be great if we all did that? Or would the earth blow up with the release of tension?

I am an honest person, and though I am diplomatic with people I don't care for, unfortunately, I have a poker face. I'm sure they figure it out!

One of our board members, who is a dirty old man and a major pain in the ass, was grilling me over the phone last week (when my boss is on vacation he acts like he's the boss, even though he's a senile old fuck), and finally he said, "Oh, I'm just trying to get to you."

My reply: "It's working!"

However, while I am very honest with most people, I wish I could tell him the following: You are a nasty, dirty-minded old fuck and I can't believe you got four people to marry you, let alone not kill you. I have a hard enough time sitting through a one-hour meeting with you, or a five-minute phone call, and seeing that you have five or six children, I can't believe one of THEM hasn't strangled you by now, either!

I hope you get every nasty, terrible discomfort that can come with old age, and also permanent laryngitis.

Then my job will be much easier.

17 comments:

Phil said...

Saying exactly what you think is what blogs are for, but it sure would be fun to do in the working world and everywhere else.

Fireblossom said...

Let me tell you what I REALLY think of you, Twin! I think that you are ....wonderful. Sorry! What a let-down, I know!

Scarlet said...

"You are a nasty, dirty-minded old fuck..." I can just imagine you going off on the guy and you had me LOL with this one!

I would love to be able to speak my mind sometimes without getting fired. Unfortunately, I think you have to be rich and famous to get away with it.

Sidhe said...

I just watched a movie this weekend where a girl could tell what people really meant vs. what they really said...she met a guy who always said what he really meant...refreshing. Too bad other people take offense...and it could be difficult to keep a job.

JLee said...

hahahah...this reminds me of my latest post. lol
I think it would be bad, very bad if I were honest with a lot of people, especially at work!

pheromone girl said...

I also wish him a massive case of some burning STD. Just for THINKING dirty thoughts about any hot young things. Like us.

The Peach Tart said...

Yes I'm hard to be employed because of this trait of just running my big mouth off.

Riot Kitty said...

Phil: Oh, yes it would!
FB: You are too sweet!
Scarlet: You're probably right...
Sidhe: What movie was that?
JL: I loved yr last post :)
PG: Amen, sister!
PT: Right with you!

themom said...

I have reached a point in my life, where I don't want people to just wonder what I mean...I tell them they are "fucking idiots." Saves so much time and headaches. One person even told me that "that's the end of our friendhsip," and I replied "we were friends???"

LL Cool Joe said...

I used to hold back and not say what I really feel about someone or something, but I don't now. Saying that, sometimes it's hard to say what you feel about someones post on their blog, with the fear of offending them.

G said...

But did you tell him to have a nice day aftewards?

Riot Kitty said...

TM: LOL!
Joey: I hope you don't worry about offending *me*!
G: Nah, I missed that...

Aliceson said...

I wish I could tell my boss what I really think of her, but I think I'd be out of a job if I did.

Heff said...

Honesty would NEVER work out, lol !

smallbytesbythecapital said...

I think spending a day in your head would probably be the best fucking entertainment out there! The actual scenarios, coupled with your internal dialog would make for some good television. Granted, it'd be on one of those prime channels where censorship doesn't take place, but still. I'd pay for the subscription!!

Riot Kitty said...

Aliceson: Every boss previous, except one, it was the same with me!

Heff: Too bad, isn't it? ;)
SBBTC: Thank you!

Darth Weasel said...

scarily, there is a movie coming out about this called I think "The First Lie" or something like that where everyone EXCEPT one guy is brutally honest.