Friday, June 10, 2011

5-Minute Friday

No, this has nothing to do with Rep. (or soon-to-be-ex-Rep.) Weiner and said weiner. My friend Claire gave me this idea - you pick a theme for a post and have five minutes to write about it.

And today's theme is...meditation. GO!

If you've been reading this blog for awhile, you know I'm pretty high octane. But I really do want to relax more...and overloading on exercise, mochas and cheese enchiladas is not making it happen.

So despite the fact that I hate any kind of new agey crap (sorry, that was redundant), I got talking to a volunteer about meditation.

Read: I am desperate to stop waking up at 4 a.m. worrying about things. They're not even my things! I am very close to my family and when they stress, I stress, which doesn't help any of us.

Years ago my acupuncturist recommended yoga. Mr. RK noted, "You'd probably be in class saying, 'Hurry up!'"

I am not patient enough for yoga.

So I went to the dreaded meditation" shelf at the local bookstore, which also had shelves on many other topics I can't even pronounce, let alone understand. I eschewed everything that made my skin crawl and found a book for beginners. This author noted that the reader "won't have hours each day to spend" meditating, nor should you think it's necessary to spend years learning how to do it. Who the hell has that kind of time anyway? (Speaking of relaxing, it's not so relaxing being timed, but what the hell, this is a good creative writing exercise.)

One minute to to! So wish me luck. I'm going to give it a try.

Nowhere on the back of the book did it say I had to stop saying the word "fuck."

But maybe I can become a not so riot Kitty.


ileana said...

I can picture you pushing the instructor along during a yoga class...which makes me want to attend one with you! I used to LOVE it...the heavy breathing, the plus-size Cuban asses pretzling into painful positions RIGHT IN FRONT of me, the funky yoga teacher, Bobbi Goldin was her name. Gotta look her up.

As for meditation, I would largely benefit from it, especially after my two daily shots of espresso! Let me know how you like the book.

LL Cool Joe said...

Well I don't believe in meditation but I really hope it works for you!!

Good luck...deep breaths. Or is that something else?

G said...


Yeah, I can just picture you now:

Eyes closed, slight humming sound, hands hanging limp at your side, then....BANG!

Claire said...

Oh good luck with it sweetie! I tried yoga last week. It was an experience!


Lynn said...

I used to do yoga - more for the limberness benefits that anything else, but it did feel like a peaceful hour. Do try to stop worrying - you'll get that those vertical lines between your eyebrows that I have. :)

Riot Kitty said...

I: Hahaha! I'll keep you posted.
J: But have you tried it? I am keeping an open mind...I'm not sure what it entails yet, I'll read the book and let you know ;)
G: Very funny! What does that mean? I shoot myself, or someone else shoots me?
C: I bet! Thanks.
L: Trying to stop worrying is the story of my life - I've lived w/anxiety since I was six. So maybe this will help. If it doesn't, I'll just keep going to DQ ;)

Boonie S said...

I suspect that you’ll derive a lot of benefit from it, and not all meditations require time and peace and quiet. Walking meditations can be done pretty much anytime anywhere. And working can be a meditation.

All the best, Boonie

G said...

Honestly, I don't know.

I was writing it and all of sudden the thought completely vanished, leaving me with a ton of empty space in my head and half-assed comment on the page.

I guess it could open to whatever interpetation you so choose to implement.

Riot Kitty said...

B: Thanks for the insight...I will let you know how it goes. There is a chapter in the book about walking meditation, which I am looking forward to trying.
G: Hahaha! Excellent.

Darth Weasel said...

I think if I had to take a meditation class, it would be similar to yours...except it would be pronounced yogurt. Mm.....yoooooggguuuurrrtttt

Riot Kitty said...

Darth: NOM! A great idea.

A Beer for the Shower said...

I'm not patient enough for yoga either. That, and I'm a dude.

Do any straight guys do yoga? I mean, besides the ones that want to get flexible just so they can suck their own dick? ... Which is still pretty gay, if you ask me.

Riot Kitty said...

ABFTS: Glad it isn't only me. But yeah, I know a straight guy who is a yoga instructor and eeeeeeewwwww, now I have to go wash out my mind with bleach.

John McElveen said...

I'll think about it!


HiFi said...

Meditation for me is writing blog posts. Helps to know that I'm getting my thoughts heard in a way that is outside the jurisdiction of forum moderators. :)

Holland said...

My mother took me to a yoga class once.... she never will do it again. By the way, it is suprising how wonderfully I slept on one of those thin yoga mats during that class.

Riot Kitty said...

J: Ha!
HF: Excellent.
H: That is hilarious!

Cake Betch said...

I think I need to get myself some books on meditation too! I have super crazy anxiety for some reason and I always supplement that with things that aren't good for me. I need to learn to chill out. I did yoga for the first time in like 3498039420 months yesterday and I'm SORE AS SHIT today.