Tuesday, December 14, 2010
There's a new version of hell
I thought my version of hell would be waking up and being stuck FOREVER in one of those mini-playgrounds at the mall where idiotic parents let their kids run rampant.
But I came up with what must be a tie...working at the post office during the month of December. Seriously, I think the taxpayers should buy every postal employee a big round of drinks come Dec. 31, for putting up with all of the bullshit I witnessed yesterday. I'm sure it was the same at post offices around the country. Portland is typically a polite city...and it was one long bitch session.
Now mind you, I am no fan of long lines. But when I had to go to the post office for work on Monday - the biggest shipping day of the year - I knew it would be a wait.
Apparently no one else thought about this.
There were two women next to me in line who kept harassing some poor guy who was just trying to help (by directing those who could go to the automated postal center, etc.) to the point where I finally said, "Will you stop abusing this man! It won't make the line move any faster! It's the holidays, the line is long, live with it."
They both got quiet and then reassured each other that they were not being rude. Meanwhile, he thanked me.
For next year, I'd like to offer some tips for the uninitiated:
1. If you go to the post office on the busiest shipping day of the year, there will be a line. A big one.
2. The line won't move any faster if you accuse people of taking excessive breaks, thus, in your opinion, causing the long wait.
3. The line won't move any faster if you verbally harass anyone walking by who happens to be wearing a postal uniform.
4. The line won't go any faster if you ask these same people, while gesturing violently at people passing in uniform, "Why can't HE help? Or SHE help? Doesn't s/he work here?"
5. The line won't go any faster if you keep whining and ask why it's taking so long. But I might throttle you.
6. If you have wrapped your package in wrapping paper, it won't ship that way.
7. Ditto for duct tape.
8. If your package is fucking huge and heavy, it will cost you extra to send overnight or priority.
9. It won't change the rules or the price if you bitch and moan about 6, 7, or 8.
10. No one - especially not me - gives a shit HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING. I'm behind you in line, remember?