Tuesday, December 14, 2010

There's a new version of hell

I thought my version of hell would be waking up and being stuck FOREVER in one of those mini-playgrounds at the mall where idiotic parents let their kids run rampant.

But I came up with what must be a tie...working at the post office during the month of December. Seriously, I think the taxpayers should buy every postal employee a big round of drinks come Dec. 31, for putting up with all of the bullshit I witnessed yesterday. I'm sure it was the same at post offices around the country. Portland is typically a polite city...and it was one long bitch session.

Now mind you, I am no fan of long lines. But when I had to go to the post office for work on Monday - the biggest shipping day of the year - I knew it would be a wait.

Apparently no one else thought about this.

There were two women next to me in line who kept harassing some poor guy who was just trying to help (by directing those who could go to the automated postal center, etc.) to the point where I finally said, "Will you stop abusing this man! It won't make the line move any faster! It's the holidays, the line is long, live with it."

They both got quiet and then reassured each other that they were not being rude. Meanwhile, he thanked me.

For next year, I'd like to offer some tips for the uninitiated:

1. If you go to the post office on the busiest shipping day of the year, there will be a line. A big one.

2. The line won't move any faster if you accuse people of taking excessive breaks, thus, in your opinion, causing the long wait.

3. The line won't move any faster if you verbally harass anyone walking by who happens to be wearing a postal uniform.

4. The line won't go any faster if you ask these same people, while gesturing violently at people passing in uniform, "Why can't HE help? Or SHE help? Doesn't s/he work here?"

5. The line won't go any faster if you keep whining and ask why it's taking so long. But I might throttle you.

6. If you have wrapped your package in wrapping paper, it won't ship that way.

7. Ditto for duct tape.

8. If your package is fucking huge and heavy, it will cost you extra to send overnight or priority.

9. It won't change the rules or the price if you bitch and moan about 6, 7, or 8.

10. No one - especially not me - gives a shit HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING. I'm behind you in line, remember?


Logical Libby said...

Also, if you don't know anything about technology, don't use the automated postage center and then complain there is no one there to help you.

Lulú said...

Good for you for speaking up to those bitches. I'm sure the guy appreciated it after all that harrassment. Your list is hilarious, btw, and something to remember for next year.

You won't find me near the P.O. right now. The M.S. p.o. is the slowest one in the country on a regular day, so I'd hate to see it this time of year.

PS - I want a present like that kitty in a box. Awww. :)

G said...

I can definitely understand your aggravation and frustration with the peons that you must share your time with in line.

As a frequent visitor to the P.O. (every weekend to buy money orders to pay bills, and I'm on a first name and friendly basis with one of the clerks), it simply boggles my mind on kind of assholes people can truly become there.

There are branches that I avoid simply because they have such a high content of sub-moronic idiots for customers that I often have to twist myself into a pretzel to avoid saying something without getting punched out.

Anyways, I often have fun with the clerk at the expense of others in line, simply because we both work for the guv'ment. Makes life much easier.

And yes, I've had the occasion where I had to unload on someone in line.

Problem is, people gotta understand that when you have an organization that is bleeding money faster than most local guv'ments and that they aren't allowed to fix it like most businesses, certain things fall by the wayside.

Like fully staffed windows.

Lynn said...

Good for you - I can't stand when people are awful at the post office. And they should post this list there. :)

Anonymous said...

Wow! Backwards time travel has been achieved. You're in 1892 when people still used the post office!

Mama Zen said...

I'm so proud of you for telling those two off!

Shionge said...

I love this post RK :) Honestly because I am a regular customer at the post office more so during the festive period.

As posted by you...there will always be long long looooooooooggest line ever and when I was queueing I observed. I observed the facial expression of others and I observed on how the postal staff go about handling difficult and nasty customers. Like you say..if they come in a package, it'll hold back the line.

I have seen a woman just walked in with a trolley bag and wanted to ship it like that...silly.

Thank for this post RK :D

Riot Kitty said...

L: Exactly!
Lulu: No kidding! That must suck. The worst post offices I've been to were in NY...slow AND rude people.
Lynn: Great idea!
WIGSF: Yeah, a necessary evil when you work at a nonprofit, are in charge of fundraising, and have to make a deposit in the bulk mail account. Fun!
MZ: Thanks ;)
S: A trolley bag! Seriously!

Mark said...

I have a postal uniform company and my customers are all employees of the usps. I hear their stories about rude customers, threats, etc., and I can confirm that it gets extra crazy at this time every year. These men and women are just trying to do their jobs and don't deserve the abuse. Please try to be nice to your letter carrier or retail clerk.

Mark said...

Has anyone but me noticed that the clerks at the post office have are wearing a new postal uniform? They now have polo shirts on instead of button down shirts; at least most do. I like the new look.

John McElveen said...

So--- was there a wait?

Good on ya Gal! Where has decency gone? By UPS??? What can Brown do for you- give them a Shitty tude?-LOL!


LL Cool Joe said...

I spend a great deal of time in the post office because I sell stuff on Ebay, and I've never experienced anyone ever being rude. I think we all just huff and puff inwardly in the UK. :D Or maybe that's just at my post office.

Riot Kitty said...

Mark: I am always nice :) I like polo shirts, too.
John: LOL! Good question - where has decency gone? And how can we get it back?
Joey: Remind me to use "huff and puff inwardly" in a sentence sometime soon, that's fantastic!

Anonymous said...

Sadly, this happens every time I visit the post office where I live. It's... beyond frustrating. I've had encounters with folks whining and bitching and screaming and throwing their hands in the air (and generally behaving like a 2 year old who was denied candy).

Even more sadly, this applies not only to the post office, but literally, everywhere. O.o
Anywhere there's a queue, there's always that stupid fuck or several (mostly several), who strongly believe that their very presence should make everyone shudder, bow down, move out of the way and let them pass to the front of the line. Things that should take an hour max, stretch out to about three because of these moronic cunts.


And on that rather jolly note, happy holidays! =D

Sidhe said...

Good news, I went to the post office today and everyone was sweet as pie. It sort of made want to puke, but truly it was nice (even though I still bitch because when our office started not being open on Saturdays they didn't tell anyone, just the hours blocked out with some Priority Mail tape on the door and I thought, "these people have access to every address, couldn't they have sent a damn postcard!")

Senorita said...

I fucking hate the holiday season for a reason. Total twatwafflery ! No likey....... :(