Friday, December 10, 2010

Random funny things from this week

Working on our annual appeal at work, I found out we have a member named Harold Furry. And one named Forest Byrd.

A moment at Mr. RK's work. His boss has a voice that carries.
Boss to female employee: "So you got laid last night?"
Like a movie, everyone becomes silent.
Boss: "Hey, she looked happy!"

Funny but creepy - it's a first. I have never gotten hit on by someone delivering our water at work. How's this for a bad pickup line?
Guy: "Ooooooooh cookies! (Munching.)I bet your husband thinks you're the bomb because you make such good cookies!"
Me: "Yes, he does. He ate several of them last night."
Guy: "Uh. I bet you make good Christmas cookies, too?"
Before rubbing my velveteen shirt sleeve and saying, "Oooh, this reminds me of those red velvet seats they used to have in theaters!"
Where you probably jerked off also. OK, the funniest bit was that line in my head, wasn't it?

Seeing an e-mail that I sent a few of you about an angel who gets a tree shoved up its ass by a pissed-off Santa. A friend who volunteers e-mailed me in a separate e-mail and said, "See you tomorrow, my little angel!"

Stuffing condoms into holiday gift bags with several older volunteers, it suddenly turned into a hilarious hen house.
Woman #1: "If all of these get used, it really will be a happy holiday!"

Funny but sad (not to mention stupid): a county a few hours south of here spent $250K advertising that they were broke. No kidding.

My friend coming up with a great line about people whose IQs equal their shoe sizes.



Lynn said...

That flirting guy - love that theater seat comment. Never heard that one before. :)

Lulú said...

Wow, that is a bad pickup line...and why, oh why, don't you say those thoughts in your head more often, Chica? :)

PS - Does Harold Furry go by Harry? That's funny! In school we had a teacher named Harold Dick and he hung out with Mr. Ball...believe it or not!

Anonymous said...

Harry Furry.

Yup, gonna be laughing at that one for at least a week.

Riot Kitty said...

L: Yeah, pretty weird. I just wanted to go home and shower afterwards!
Lulu: Had I thought of it at the time, I would have!
WIGSF: I will be for sure.

John McElveen said...

QUIT making me PEE in my pants and how about a Beverage alert!

I WANT those E-mails!! LOL! You crack me up all da tine!

That water cooler guy wasn't Pee Wee Herman perchance?

Love that line in your head!

I'm praying for a short needled pine if that E-mail is going going to happen to me!!!


Granny Annie said...

250K requesting needed funds. We live in a strange world.

How often have you make a $50 donation only to immediately begin receiving mail soliciting more money and soon they have spent your $50 on postage back to you?

Anonymous said...

Someone should make a video montage acting out these scenes. Would be totally awesome! \m/

Riot Kitty said...

John: Happy to oblige :)
GA: I HATE that. When that happens I never give to the organization again.
RB: Hey! Where have you been! Welcome back.

LL Cool Joe said...

How did I miss this post?

Hope you had a good weekend?

Darth Weasel said...

Wow, We had a guy at work at a prior job who got away with calling female customers "honey" and other such witticisms because he was in his mid 70s and "it was okay in his time". But a boss today making a comment like that? I smell something...lawsuit cooking?

Riot Kitty said...

Joey: You found it!
Darth: Funny thing is...the boss is also female :)

Boonie S said...

We don’t use pick up lines here. The weather’s so hot that we don’t need ‘em…

Have a nice day, Boonie

Chandrika Shubham said...

I liked the cat pic very much. :)