Monday, May 17, 2010

What would you do with 5 days in New York?

My brother B (who is 14 going on 40) and I are going to NYC in June. Among other things, I can't wait to see Mike D! (Mike, I hope neither one of us gets hit by a UFO or a mac truck before then, or else I'll be super pissed off.)

He has, believe it or not, been there several times before. I also used to live there (I went to college in NYC.) Since he has not, as of yet, given me a list of things he wants to do/see, I e-mailed him and told him that I assume he wants to do the following:

Trips to:

1. Victoria's Secret
2. Shoe stores
3. the knish stand (he doesn't eat them)

No I made more suggestions:

4. Shop at discount sock outlet stores in Queens

5. Go to an all-year Halloween supply store. I'll pick the tackiest costume I can find, and wear it every day on the trip.

6. Visit the museum of the history of poodles.

7. Go to a 48-hour, nonstop French film festival.

Still no reply (giggles on the phone, however), so my dad made some suggestions:

"B likes all of these," he wrote, "and asked if he could also do Tree Chopping in Central Park, Ride the Subway to Albany and see the Capital, Take Pictures with the Senior Hookers in Times Square (age 55+), and go to New York's best Comic Book Store which oddly enough, is located in Providence, Rhode Island."

I told my dad that because he's 60, he qualifies for the senior discount with the hookers.

Then Mr. RK came up with a further list:

"Don't forget the all nude Broadway adaptation of "Cocoon", the world famous Long Island Badger races, the "Swim the Hudson River and earn a dollar" ride, and catch the world premier Ang Lee movie "Piggyback Mountain" starring Edward Norton and Big Bird."

So, what do you think? What would you do with 5 days in NYC?


Darth Weasel said...

If I had 5 days in New York, honestly, I would hope to be in a coma...

or take the time to take a trip OUT of New York...

or, if traffic there is what is reported, see how many times I could cross the street safely. I hear the record is 2.

steps, not times.

(my confir word is "inansubl" which sounds suspiciously like "unanswerable" from a drunk...which is exactly what I would have to be to get caught in NY....but I hope you enjoy it. Different tastes for different peeps)

Senorita said...

I took a weekend trip to NYC to visit my friend in the Bronx last September. We visited the Empire State Building, Ellis Island, the Wallstreetbull, and drove past Ground Zero. We didn't have much time, but I think we made the most of it. Have a wonderful trip !

Green tea said...

I have only been to NYC once, took the boat trip,saw a Broadway show..
rode the subway and also went to Chinatown.
Hoped to go back someday, but doesn't look like I will make it.
If I did, I would try to sneak into the Letterman show.

Lynn said...

Those are all fine suggestions and gave me an early morning big chuckle. :) Thanks for that.

Y'all could babysit for my niece's almost 4-month-old baby (who has really just discovered her lungs.)

And isn't there a museum of world industry in Brooklyn?


Ily said...

Mi'ja, you're hilarious! :D Wish I could go with you!!

I'd dress like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's (with the face mask) and tour the town with a cute gay friend...but that's just me! :)

Fireblossom said...

Twin, you are SO demented lol

WhatIGotSoFar said...

I did five days in Manhattan earlier this year. I just walked around and discovered things on my own. I had a great time.

LL Cool Joe said...

5 days would be too long for me!

I'd check out all the shops selling hip hop clothing, and get drunk.

Granny Annie said...

Stand at an intersection and cry for five days.

skyewriter said...

I wasn't sure if you wanted "G" rated comments or "R" rated ones. I'll go with a PG comment:

Bong shopping in Washington Square... (I guess that's PG)

G said...

Okay...Darth took my comment.

I am drawing a major league blank.

I know, you can visit me prior to visiting Mike D.

My town is before his. :D

Logical Libby said...

You should also knife fight a rat and buy a ninja star in Times Square.

mac said...

Your Dad had the best idea ;-)

Riot Kitty said...

Darth: I think 2 steps is being generous ;)
S: Thanks!
Ily: So come along and we will do just that!
FB: If I'm demented, and you're my Twin...
WIFSF: That sounds like a cool trip.
Joey: I don't drink, but shopping is on the list :)
GA: Why? You could also try that at a museum and pitch yourself as a live art exhibit...
Skye: Last time I checked they don't sell bongs there, just fake pot (e.g. oregano.)
G: You are really on the way? You could come meet us all in NYC!
L: Good ideas!
Mac: He usually does. :)

Shionge said...

I was in NYC before but as I am a tourist....I went to Staten Island, Times Square (Shopping!!), Empire State Building included plus Chinatown and people watching of course :)

I love NYC!!

Mike_D said...

Let's see here, what else can we do?

I think there's a student discount for hookers, too. And I still have my student ID card, so the gonnorrhea's on me! Merry f'in Christmas! :)

Make innappropriate gestures and/or sexual movements towards the Madam Tussaud's version of Ghandi and Mother Theresa!

If I may go a step further, don't bother with a all-year Halloween store, just go to the nearest Walgreens and pick out the last My Little Pony costume there!

I REALLY want a souvenir from the history of poodles exhibit. That commemorative bike license plate is calling my name.

By the way, my word is paplivo. Which I plan to use in a sentence whilst in NYC.

Mike_D said...

Oh, and if I get hit by a UFO, I want my picture in the Weekly World News!!!!

Talk to you soon about plans!!

Riot Kitty said...

S: People watching is a must!
Mike: After picking myself up off of the floor laughing...I'd go for cheesecake and Central Park again. Love ya!

Mama Zen said...

I don't know, but if I see something, I'm gonna say something!

Anil P said...

The Waterfront that Joseph Mitchell wrote about in his classic Bottom of the Harbour.