Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Five years ago, there was an ice storm...
...and a few hours before that, I got married.
Which was funny, because I never wanted to get married. I wasn't even sure I wanted to live with someone, but if I did, I always thought I'd want to be in a position to be able to boot them out. Just in case.
Mr. RK also never wanted to get married.
But don't ask me how, the stars aligned and it happened.
Neither one of us had ever met anyone that 1) did not want to bear their own fruit, or 2) gave us enough space, or 3) love cats. There is a serious dearth of straight men in this world who love cats, don't want children and don't resent their partners having alone time, and I managed to find one. Or he found me.
Both of us are introverts. Both of us need lots - and I mean lots - of alone time.
The actual day was kind of hilarious in retrospect. I could not find a "normal" formal dress, and I didn't want to look like a cupcake in a dress I'd never wear again, so I got married in a red dress. No flowers. No cake. No frills. We didn't actually care about the legality of it or the ceremony; we only invited immediate family in order for them not to disown us.
We got married by a lesbian judge in clogs whose office was in the juvenile detention center. After running around a few blocks in heels trying to figure out where to go, Mr. RK's mom got the right address, so I could go in through a metal detector and pay our license fee.
Then we all waited in the detention center, with a bunch of nervous-looking parents who were waiting for their kids' hearings.
My brother's camera started rewinding (this was before we had digital cameras) during the vows, but I was so focused on getting everything right that it didn't register.
Afterwards, we went out to Thai food.
It has been interesting, to say the least. I am still getting used to the idea that relationships can have a sense of permanence - or as permanent as it can be, knowing we're all going to move on to another universe some day. I had never met someone else who loved me unconditionally - happy or depressed, dressed up or with morning bed hair, sick or well - that I loved back. (There were lots of nice people who had about as much backbone as cooked asparagus, and I got bored.)
I have also never met anyone who wants things as neat and tidy as I do, or someone who was equally inept at cooking as I was (I am now learning.) Or someone who is actually more stubborn than I am (yes, it's possible.)
So onward with the adventure!
Happy five years, Mr. RK. I love you.