Saturday, January 09, 2010
I've never been one to put bumper stickers on my car - with the exception of a couple of elections that were really important to me - but sometimes I think I may be missing my best job ever: redesigning bumper stickers!
So many opportunities, so little time - so many are cliche, and yet they could be interesting!
Portland is well-known for being a bike-friendly city (despite all the terrible drivers), so many a car features the sticker, "I Share the Road."
How about, "I Run Over Bikers Every Chance I Get."
Instead of, "Start Seeing Motorcycles," "Start Seeing Dead People."
Instead of those irritating-as-hell stick figures of a family with their dozen kids - usually on the back of a Yukon with a soccer mom on her cell phone, weaving in and out of her lane - how about a family of vampires?
Instead of Bush/Cheney '04, how about Cheney/Satan '12?
Instead of "In Case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned," "In Case of Rapture, Can I have your Cheetos?"
As for those "My Child Is An Honor Student At..." stickers, why not replace them with, "My Kid is Probably In Detention With Your Kid."
I saw one today that made me crack up - this was a real one:
"Bondage is Knot for Everyone."
What would YOU change?