Friday, January 03, 2014

Things I would like to know

1. Someone in a design room somewhere put little pockets into the pyjama/boxer sleep shorts I have. Why? Do people think I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night and put, I don't know, peanuts or dental floss in my pockets? Condoms? I don't even put things into regular pants pockets, let alone tiny, flimsy cotton shorts I am going to sleep in. If I put so much as a napkin in the pocket, they'd probably fall down.
2. The motivation behind the question from Captain Obvious, who walked into a crowded restaurant where we were already waiting, along with several other people, tonight. He signaled the waitress and I said, "We're all waiting." He asked, "You guys got here first?" No - we're all holograms. Like that episode of Dr. Who where Amy Pond wasn't really there, even thought she appeared to be.

3. Why my little brother (the one in his 30s, not the one in his teens) saw fit to send my family his latest standup video, which is so crass I won't even post it here. (Hint: one of the cleanest lines in the whole thing is, "I could lick the pink off of a..." You get it.) In my mind, he's still eight years old. He's not old enough to say the word...you know. He told me he "knew it probably wasn't your thing but didn't want to exclude you." However, he said he's not sending it to our stepmom. Probably because he wants to see his next birthday.

4. Why, on a day when I already had a headache, I get bonked in the head while attempting to change the water jug at work. (I can hear you laughing, but this is true.)

How about you? Anything you have a burning desire to know?

23 comments:

Birdie said...

My god...where do I start?

middle child said...

Yes. Why do so many cars now come without turn signals?

Elephant's Child said...

How did people survive without mobile(cell) phones. And how do they know that hearing about their sex lives puts a really good start to the day while I am catching an early bus? It does at least act as a dietary aid, triggering bulimic thoughts.

Cheryl said...

I think of questions at about 80 per minute...maybe more. There is no end to the things I am curious about. As to one of your questions about the pocket in the sleep shorts...if I go into the Walmart at 3:00AM..I will ask one of the girls that is wearing her PJs while shopping if she keeps anything in the pocket.(while most of these are pj long pants, I have seen shorts as well) I am thinking nightwear is the new casual-always-appropriate-wear, that can be worn anywhere.

Charles Gramlich said...

I am all knowing!

Claire said...

Why do my cats miaow at the corner?

Lynn said...

That's funny about the pockets - the yoga pants that I am wearing right now also have pockets. I'm doing any yoga, just wearing the pants, but if I was, what would I want in those pockets anyway? Good question, RK?

G. B. Miller said...

Ummm....yes.

No.

Maybe.

Why do people extend an e-mail conversation by at least three unnecessary replies?

If you ask a question that deserves a "yes" or a "no" answer because the question contains no shades of gray, just B&W, why do you need me to elaborate on my yes/no answer for another 3+ e-mails?

Granny Annie said...

My friend had a nice ladies luncheon yesterday at her home. No boys allowed. Yet her husband and sons would wander past the buffet and gaze at the lovely items and pause to ask, "What's that? What's that? What's that?" Were we supposed to respond "A cookie. A pie. A piece of candy. Cheese ball. Crackers."?

Abby said...

Why are there people who talk and talk without saying anything? Don't they know they're not saying anything since they're the ones not saying it?

And now I'm also really curious about those pockets.

Vanessa Morgan said...

Do you have a couple of hours? That's the time I need to sum up everything I want to know.

Ms. CrankyPants said...

YES! Thank God I know have the forum in which to ask: does the Magic Cone work?? http://www.magic-cone.com/

My friend got me one for those times when, you know, you're at a disco and the line's too long at the ladies' room -- but you gotta go! Many's the night I've hunched in a corner of the dance floor with the Magic Cone in my hands, but I haven't been able to "pull the trigger." DOES IT WORK?

Ms. CrankyPants said...

oops - not "know" -- "now." Gah!

A Beer For The Shower said...

We asked our question in blog form. But on the subject of useless pockets, why do some of my polo shirts have very tiny pockets on the breast? They're way too small to put anything of use in there, and if you do put something in there and then barely even move it all just falls out. What's the point?

Introverted Art said...

you MUST share your brother's video!!!!

Riot Kitty said...

All good food for thought! But IA, I can't. Seriously. It's just too nasty. I can post a link on your blog in the comments if you like.

Rock Chef said...

Thought I had already commented on this post! Ah well, here goes.

I suspect that the pocket is for condoms?

Just a thought!

Mike_D said...

I think I need pics of said shorts in order to properly comment....

Lee said...

I'd like to know why there are more idiots in the world these days....

Just saying....

DWei said...

I want to know why that stick of RAM died after 6 months. These things are supposed to die either right away or not at all.

Dexter Klemperer said...

Why can't cauliflower taste like bacon?

LL Cool Joe said...

I dunno I find something to put in most pockets. :D

Betty Manousos said...

i suspect that the pocket is for tissues? just saying.

well, i'd like to know... how do things usually work out for couples who keep separate accounts? there i said it!

big hugs!