The end is indeed near. Really, it is.
My whole (younger) life, I always laughed at people who said they felt old remembering things that happened 20 years ago (I have very vivid memories from that time now), and I always told people, "Age is a social construction!"
But as my good friend Mike D reminded me, "Ever hear of the internet? Porn is everywhere..." Incidentally, he prefaced that with, "That's where your mind goes?" Hey! It was Mr. RK's point!
And then today, offering cookies to our intern at work, who is taking a year off in between high school and college, I made the mistake of telling him I can't eat them.
His reply: "I'm young, I can eat anything!"
My reply to that: "I can't eat them because I'm diabetic, and they're not vegan."
I had several other replies that involved cursing and smacking him with a legal sized envelope, but we won't go into that here. Let's just say he revised his statement to say I was "young-ish." He doesn't even know how old I am, but clearly I've got one foot in the nursing home already.
Incidentally, the title of this post is relevant. I was trying to reach the kiddo the other day, and a friend who is also trying to mentor him (luckily this friend's hair is already gray) texted me and said, "He has his phone, but he is out delivering flamingos."
So I called him and he picked up the phone and said, "Hey RK! I have to call you back, I'm neck deep in flamingos!"
Apparently one of the staff at his group home has a side job delivering plastic pink flamingos.
I don't know if I want to know.