I'd like to think I was better at getting away with things when I was a teenager.
I swear, it's like there is a multiple choice for the complete dumbass and the kiddo/my adopted brother/my "bad little brother" is circling all the wrong answers.
1. You want to smoke pot on a weekend you're spending with relatives, who are dumb enough to let you go to a party unsupervised, even though they aren't supposed to. Do you:
A. Decide not to smoke it, as you want to be good this weekend and get more freedom, which you have been pressing for/bitching about?
B. Go off on your own and smoke it, and tell no one?
C. Smoke it, and then come to your brother's going away party and offer it to all of his teenage guests? (Your mom is also at this party.)
And the winner is...you guessed it! C.
2. You get busted with cigarette butts and makeshift gravity bongs in your room. Do you:
A. Take responsibility and apologize?
B. Promise not to do it again?
C. Make a complete denial and angrily tell the staff that you "don't smoke in plastic" containers?
Any guesses? C again!
3. You make a plan to meet up with stoner friends and, well, get stoned. Do you:
A. Make plans over the phone?
B. Make plans via text but delete all texts before you meet up?
C. Make detailed plans over text describing exactly who, when, and where you will get stoned and leave them on your phone, which is at your adopted sister/advocate's house?
Once again... C wins the day!
His reply: "Hellooooooooo! Of course I wouldn't do that! I'm not stupid!"
Note to self: refer back to the multiple choice quiz. But while we're pointing fingers and laughing, I have to rat on myself. At a meeting today, I was talking to someone who used to volunteer for us and she referred to her boyfriend.
Me: "I didn't know he was your boyfriend now!"
Her: "Oh, not Guy X. Guy Y. Guy X couldn't shit or get off the pot."
Me: "And guy Y...shit?"
Well, that expression had to come from somewhere, right? Tell me I'm not the only person who asked that question.