Monday, October 28, 2013

What part of "delete browsing history" don't you understand?

So I'm back from the trip that didn't give me time to go explore the city we were in. Boo.

For those of you who live in or have lived in Chicago: how the fuck do you sleep at night? The wind was so loud that I learned the reason someone coined the expression "howling."

Still wondering how those of you who are parents did it or are doing it without pulling out all of your hairs, or someone else's. Saturday, I find out that the kiddo I am advocating for (henceforth known as "the kiddo") has has his phone taken away because he was looking at porn. Granted, he's 17, and I basically told him, look, as long as it's not anyone hurting anyone else, or anything to do with children or sheep, I really don't care. However, you live in a group home and they have rules, and WHAT PART OF DELETE BROWSING HISTORY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? Technology has made things so complicated.

That's the thing - and I wonder if I was like this when I was a teenager and my dad just never said anything? - when he breaks the rules, he doesn't just leave a trail of breadcrumbs, he leaves a trail of bread loaves. (Yes, I told him this.) Was I just sneakier? Savvier? Or did I just think I was?

I also had to lay the smack down, as he wasn't listening to anyone at the home. The program supervisor said, "Can you talk to him about this?"

Here's how the conversation went:

Me: "I heard you aren't doing X,Y, and Z! DO THEM RIGHT FUCKING NOW, OR YOU WILL BE IN BIG FUCKING TROUBLE!"
Kiddo: "Um. OK."

And he did.

Anyhow. After less than 48 hours full of people, people, people - I actually skipped out on a couple of the sessions just to get some time to myself - I have to say that I really don't understand extroverts. If you are an extrovert, I admire you, in the most dazzled, baffled way. I came home and felt like the life had been sucked out of me through my ears (or maybe that was the popping left over from the plane.) In fact I took today off and did nothing - literally - until Mr. RK got home and we went out on a date.

I did my spit-in-a-kit thing tonight. Boy is that gross. Not that I've never spit before, but I didn't have it in a tube right in front of me. Yuck.

I'll be sure to let you know all of the results, although at this point I'm wondering 1. How they'll know it's my kit, and what if I get someone else's results? 2. If it gets lost in the mail, what do I do, and 3. If they get it right, just how much will I be able to disturb the less progressive elements of my family?

Either way...you'll hear about it.

22 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Love your authority. And am sure it is because he knows you mean what you say - good or bad.
And yes, I really, really want the spit results. And the prospect of being able to (further) disturb some of my family would add a LOT of charm.

G. B. Miller said...

Ahhh, the old South Park bit where Kyle becomes Office Kyle and yells "Respect My Authority!"

The joys of being a parent to a teenager.

Welcome to the ninth circle of Hell. Be sure to fasten your safety belt, as it's gonna be a hellacious ride.

Rock Chef said...

Sometimes it does people good to be told things straight. There is too much pussy-footing around with kids these days.

Looking forward to the results of your spit!

Charles Gramlich said...

so true about the Techno trail we can leave these days.

Cheryl said...

I love that you communicate with kids in a way they can relate (which means they can respect). I really think kids appreciate someone being right to the point and honest about how things are.

As for the wind in Chicago. Yeah, I was born there and lived on and off there throughout my life. It isn't called the Windy City for nothin'. That wind coming off the lake is part of the dynamics there.

I am eager for you to get your results back.

Lee said...

I don't think I even knew what porn was when I was a teenager; other than when used describing a "pawnbroker" or "pawn shop"; or someone had mispronounced or misspelled "prawn"!

Perhaps they should rename Chicago the "Howling City"!

Lynn said...

Sounds like you have earned the respect of the kiddo. :) And I'm sorry your trip was not the best. I've never been to Chicago - I always wondered if I would like it. Now I'm thinking maybe not!

Riot Kitty said...

EC: I mailed the spit today! Very eager to find out what's in it.
GB: That's pretty much how it went! And that sounds pretty accurate.
RC: Me too. And you're right. His mom hems and haws and never answers him, and he hates that, come to think of it. He probably appreciates hearing it straight.
Charles: Well, he'll be deleting the history now, I can tell you!
Cheryl: Eesh! Did you just freeze your ass off forever? And about the kiddo, I hope so.
Lee: BWAHAHAHA!
Lynn: Thank you, I hope so. I would like to go and actually see the city sometime!

DWei said...

Psh, if that kid was smart, he'd just browse in a private window. No need to delete any history.

I think I'm an ambivert. Best of both worlds. :P

Granny Annie said...

I confessed some sins to my college sister in a letter my senior year in high school. She wrote back "You've got one more year to be an angel and then when you go off to college you can become a 'rockin angel'". My parents found the letter and we both were in trouble.

Just telling it like it is said...

looking at the porn completely normal... rules aside he prolly feels like he has less control over his life..ea he acts out...don't be so hard on him he's only human. we can forget that at times

Riot Kitty said...

DW: That's a hilarious word.
GA: OH no!
Just telling: Re-read...I wasn't hard on him at all over the porn. The other issue was completely separate.

Birdie said...

And I am looking forward to hearing about it!

Abby said...

I'm wondering. Is
"In fact I took today off and did nothing - literally ..."
code for "I watched porn all day"?

Don't look at me! I'm an extrovert!

I'm strangely looking forward to your spit results. I just heard that these things are available for dogs too!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

I loved the way you talked to "Kiddo"....and I bet he did too! Straight from the shoulder is always better.

I was thinking just today how EVERYTHING is available on the Internet.....Just a click away....In a way it makes some things too available, like Porn.

Chicago is a terrific city---I hope you get to go and enjoy some of the uniqueness, besides the Wind...lol!
It has one of the GREAT Museums of this country...! The Art Institute.

Dexter Klemperer said...

I think as long as you insured your spit everything will be fine. I'm too afraid to look at anyone's browsing history.

Mike_D said...

Glad you're back!!! Miss you!!!

Oh and we didn't have browsing history when we were kids. The new-fangled technology just didn't exist....it's the equivalent of hiding your porn in the second desk drawer.

A Beer For The Shower said...

I'm looking forward to these results. And deleting browser history is just Guy 101. But unfortunately, it goes beyond that. When I was in high school, a kid got caught storing porn on the school's public folder. The folder name?

PORNOGRAPHY

That was the only reason it was ever found, otherwise no one would have ever known. Genius.

Riot Kitty said...

Birdie: Thanks!
Naomi: I totally want to go back! And honestly, I don't know that I want to know everything that's available...
Dexter: HAHA!
Mike: I must use that comparison!
ABFTS: You have got to be kidding me! That is fucking hilarious.

LL Cool Joe said...

Hey and what's wrong with sheep? Okay joking.

I may look extrovert, but that's to cover up how much of an introvert I really am. Truth is, I don't like people much. ;D

Riot Kitty said...

Joey: HAHAHA! I'm with you.

Betty Manousos said...

i'm sorry your trip was not enjoyable because of the wind. wind can be so annoying..

i'm looking forward to your results.

big hugs!