Wednesday, October 09, 2013

No, you cannot has that. Absolutely not!

It's event week.

On top of it being event week, this year our dinner coincided with the launch of our state's insurance exchange (which still does not work) and a grant through which we are supposed to help sign people up for Medicaid and other insurance. Through an exchange whose online portal doesn't work.

Anyhow. You know how it goes - there's the usual stupid crap, and I am writing about it humorously to 1. let you all know that yes, this is all true, and 2. keep my hopes up that if I vent about it here, I will get it out of my system somewhat and not do anything that will get me arrested (e.g. assault.)

Things it is NOT OK to do to the event planner:

1. Say you might come, never get back to her, then email at 9 pm the night before the event, after the seating is done and the meals are ordered, (yes RIGHT FUCKING NOW!! I just got the email when I was writing this!!) saying you're bringing two guests.

2. Offer to volunteer three months in advance and then flake. Not only flake, but offer your free dinner/volunteer gig to two people who are totally unknown to the event planner and copy them on the email asking if they can take your place.

3. Ask the event planner for a ride to and from the dinner. Because she has nothing else to do that day. No, I am not making this up!! Two people did this. From totally opposite sides of town. Right.

4. Waffle on your entrees after they have already been ordered by catering. Because hell, the meals can come in and cook themselves.

5. Tell the event planner you need to sit with so-and-so, who isn't coming to the event.

More to come tomorrow, I'm sure. Every year, I have people buy tickets the day of the event. Who, may I ask, decides that day that they're going to a $125-a-plate gala dinner? Do they carry cocktail dresses in their cars just in case?

I plan (hope) to be less bitchy tomorrow, provided too many things don't get fucked up. Wish me luck.

22 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Bitchiness, particularly if it saves you from an assault charge is fine.
Good luck, and I hope it goes well and that the inevitably stupidity and selfishness is a minor part of the event.

Lee said...

And people often wonder why I've become so reclusive! lol

After years dealing with the public (people), particularly during the years I spent working in the hospitality industry...it was either become a recluse...or murder a diner/customer! I chose the first option! ;)

Birdie said...

I think you should be just as bitchy but just aim it at the people who are personally trying to screw you over. They can make it up to you by giving more cash.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

That would all drive me nuts!!! Having been a Co-Chair, (A "WORKING" Co-Chair) of a BIG Event for twenty years---I know of what you speak! It makes you wonder about people and where their heads are at??? I mean, What The F**K!!! Los Angeles is known for being a 'last minute' town---I always wondered, 'are they hoping something better will come along before 7pm that night??' OY! My heart goes out to you, my dear...!

Just telling it like it is said...

That would be my luck they were pilling a dress our of their hat when you are stifled at the progression of their intent.I hate it when that happens...

Lynn said...

Oh my - good luck! People are the same everywhere, I think - I always swear no one around here knows what RSVP means.

G. B. Miller said...

Let's see:

1) Spineless.

2) No testicles.

3) Freeloader.

4) A Democrat.

5) Pompous.

Yeah, I think that about covers it.

Granny Annie said...

Ditto G.B. Miller:)

Cheryl said...

Vent away, RK. I consider you saint worthy that you didn't either call or email those inconsiderate people with a big FU.

I have said this before...I could never do your job. I would implode. I know there have been actual cases of people spontaneously combusting....there would be one more.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Wishing you the patience of Job . . . because it sounds like you're going to need it! Good luck!

Vanessa Morgan said...

Planning events seems to be very stressful. Good luck.

A Beer For The Shower said...

What, you mean to tell me you're not a taxi service? For $125, you'd better pick me up! I mean, why else would I be paying for this if not for my own personal gain? ;)

Charles Gramlich said...

I can see that you are having so much fun. :)

LL Cool Joe said...

Ha ha, so how did it go? And did you give anyone a lift? :D

I really, really couldn't do your job, I'd end up hitting someone.

Abby said...

This is SO why I don't plan anything resembling an "event". Good luck.

Holland said...

Keep ranting sweetie, if it keeps you out of jail.. and remember.. be careful out there.. there are stupid people everywhere.. :)

DWei said...

And this is exactly why I'm so reluctant to be the heads of these sorts of events.

Riot Kitty said...

SOOOOOOOOO, I have to tell you all, things were more fucked up the day of event than any event I've ever done - and equally between Republicans, Democrats, and nonpolitical people who were all pains in the ass.

But the event itself was great!

And no, I did not give anyone a ride. I told them all to suck it.

CraveCute said...

I am hating these people right along with you! Happy for you that the event was great and also glad you told them to suck it! Haha!

Ileana said...

That's insane! I don't know how you do it but I'm guessing your sense of humor keeps you from killing anyone. :) Hope it gets better.

Introverted Art said...

the exchange makes me depressed.... the website is constantly down :P

Dexter Klemperer said...

From now on, just serve waffles as the entrée.