So I wrote back, "I just remembered the worst pickup line ever! Will call you in 5."
Which prompted a discussion between him, me, the staff on duty at the home he lives in, and Mr. RK.
This reminded me of why I have told Mr. RK repeatedly that if he decides one day that he no longer prefers women, or God forbid something ever happens to him like a piano falling out of the sky and onto his head, he doesn't have to worry: I would never date again!
So tell me if you have ever had anything happen like...
1. You meet someone online and you suggest a coffee date. They suggest dinner. Then, when the bill arrives, they ask you to split it. (Mind you, I think people should take turns paying, and I erred on the side of paying when I was dating, but if you invite, you should offer to pay, right?) How romantic. Then they suggest a walk in the park and out of the blue they ask you, "So what do you prefer? A guy who has a big dick or a guy who knows how to use it?"
2. Ask someone out and arrange to meet at a nice restaurant, and she shows up WITH A BABY. One you didn't know she had, since she never told you she had a kid. She is super messy and gets food all over the place. Then you drive her home, and there are all these people smoking pot outside the front of her house, because - surprise! - she may be a new mom, but she's also a stoner. (This was from the counselor at the group home. Holy fucking shit. I couldn't one-up him.)
3. Go on a date to a thriller/horror movie. Get the surprise of your life when your date decides to grab your manhood out of nowhere. "YIPE!" Luckily, the timing is such that you jump out of your seat during a scary (for the rest of the audience also) moment.
5. Ask this pretty girl on a date. Take her to McDonald's, and then ask her to pay.
Yes, really, but apparently it worked...Mr. RK's best friend from high school has now been married to the pretty girl for more than 20 years!
So how about you? I know you have some doozies. Let's have 'em.