Saturday, April 24, 2010

Manners


I just can't stand it when people are rude in social situations - and I mean rude for no reason at all.

Tell me if I'm crazy, but when I was growing up, we were raised to:

1. Acknowledge gifts with a thank you.

2. Not cut in line in front of people.

3. Say, "excuse me," or "I'm sorry," if you accidentally got in someone's way.

4. Move over if someone said, "Excuse me."

5. Not learn to dive like assholes.

6. Be courteous to people on the phone.

Etc.

So it pisses me off, say, when we get gifts for a young family member, even though money is tight, and they aren't even acknowledged by his parent. No note. No phone call. No "thank you." How hard is it to at least let me know the clothes fit, or he liked his other present?

It pisses me off more when I get calls at work and people take out their frustration with their computer illiteracy on me. One caller this week actually said, "Sorry I'm being such a bitch about this."

I wanted to say, "So am I!"

Or last night in the video store, Mr. RK said, "Excuse me," to a woman standing in the way of our cashier. She just looked at him. I said, "Excuse me," and she just looked at me. I then said, "They're trying to ring us up." She glared at us and when she left the parking lot, she screeched her tires.

Is it me, or are people more impolite nowadays than they used to be? I don't remember so much everyday rudeness from when I was growing up.

Although, funny story - I had a friend in high school who was very aggressive, but was taught by her mom to address everyone as "mam" and "sir." We were at the gym one time and this guy started yelling at her because he said she was using one of the machines too long. She apologized, and when he kept yelling, she looked him square in the face and said, "Fuck you, sir!"

20 comments:

Aliceson said...

Oh this bugs me! The other day I was at Costco and only wanted 2 things and of course the 2 things I wanted were surrounded by big honkin' unattended shopping carts. As I carefully moved one of the carts so I could get a box of strawberries the rude shopper came back and said all snotty like "Um that's my cart!" How rude!

Lynn said...

The best gift my parents ever gave me was the gift of good manners. Someone I work with said something rude to me one day and I just turned and walked away. She came to my office a little later and apologized and said of all people she hates to hurt my feelings. I think if we good mannered people persevere and display our good manners, then perhaps it will rub off like that. There is hope.

Fireblossom said...

I definitely think common courtesy has taken a nosedive. Aliceson's story doesn't surprise me at all, the people who do that are the very same ones who get all bent if you touch their cart to get by.

Got to love the people with booming bass on their car stereos who blast it late at night or (my favorite) when they are leaving for work in the morning.

I also love the people who get behind you in the grocery line and start setting their stuff on the conveyor before you're done with yours. Yes, they set it behind, but as soon as the conveyor belt moves, their stuff is in the way and you have to shove it back and then they're all offended. Now I stand in front of my basket and leave the basket in the way until I am done unloading. It's my Idiot Barrier.

Um...ironic, Twin, that you show a CAT being mannerly! Don't they do what they want when they want? LOL

Senorita said...

Because so many adults lack manners nowadays, just thing of what the younger generations are going to become. Makes me cringe just thinking about it !

LL Cool Joe said...

Oh "mam" and "sir" bug the hell out of me. When will we get to a stage where we all use genderless names?

I'm over polite in real life I think and sound a bit like an arse kisser.

Riot Kitty said...

A: That happens all the time. The other day, Mr. RK said to someone who was doing that, "It's OK. I have all day." She turned red and moved the cart.
L: It would be so hard for me to do that! I mean walk away, not perserved and displayed good manners ;)
FB: Right with you on the stereos! Or how about the asshats who use leafblowers at 7 a.m.? (Or at all, for that matter?) Google images is my friend. I didn't even think of looking for one with a cat! Idiot Barrier is my new catch phrase...
S: I can't even think about it. I'm just glad my parents are raising my little sibs (14 and 9) to be polite.
Joey: Good point~! I can't picture you sounding like an ass kisser, though ;)

Darth Weasel said...

Frankly, we live in a world where "irreverent" is a gold star...so manners are indeed left behind. "Great comedians" like Andy Kaufman, Andrew Dice Clay, and many others made it an art form to be clueless and crass. Modern music took that and amplified it (look at many rap videos, for example) and movies got into the act; villains must be so scummy that we want them to not just die, but die horribly. All these things contribute.

G said...

Manners? What are manners?

Oh wait, those are common sense items of decorum in which almost no one below the age of 35 partake in anymore with any degree of normalcy.

So please dear lady, could you be as so kind as to take one step to the left so that I might be able to move my portly ass around you so that I can snatch that last eclair from your hand and stuff it into my face???

Pretty please?

With sugar on top?

And a bing cherry?

Patty said...

This is a great post RK. Anymore I have to say a little prayer before going into the grocery store and NOT be in hurry. I always let them cut in front of me, or if they are sighing profusely I offer to let them go ahead of me (sometimes, he, he). But I draw the line at the checkout when it is actually, finally my turn! Back off! I too have to keep the cart as an idiot barrier. People love to see what is in your purse and what your driver license picture looks like. Nosey bitch was looking over my shoulder reading all of my personal info one day when I was writing a check, I said "do you mind?" she was clueless. OR how about this one: you are in the express lane and you forgot to grab one of those little baskets, and the lady in front of you with her little can of peaches and empty cart refuses to let you put your stuff that you have piled up in your arms on the belt because apparently you smell or something. Sometimes she will even look strait at you and your predicament as if to say, "I am in control of this situation, and you are at my mercy."
Thanks for letting me vent!
Mom always used to say,
"Common courtesy does not cost a dime!"

Riot Kitty said...

Darth: I *hated* Andrew Dice Clay. He was such a pig. But I have to blame parents for most of this, don't you think?
G: I'm under 35 and I have manners!
Patty: I've actually written a couple of posts specifically about the grocery store! Right with you :)

Ally said...

Kitty, check this crap out. Four years ago we went to hubs cousins wedding. Gave nice cash gift (that's how we roll in ny/nj). No thank you note. Nothing. My mother in law? Same thing. No card. We get married, get a weird re-gifted vase with a return tag on it - we attempt to return to bloomingdales. They tell us it's 4-year-old stock and can't be returned. Obviously cousin got it for her wedding 4-yrs ago. I send her a nice thank you card and ask her in a separate letter if she ever received any of our gifts of cash at her wedding as nobody received an acknowledgment and i was worried the cash may have been lost or stolen. Get a note card back from her a few days later saying, yes they got the gift but just never sent us a card. Dude??? Who doesn't send wedding thank yous? Like who? Tell me!!! WHO???


FourthGradeNothing.com

Logical Libby said...

Once went to a wedding where there was a little basket of scrolls on the gift table. They were preprinted thank you notes. Guests were supposed to take one when they dropped off a gift.

I almost took my gift back.

Riot Kitty said...

Ally and Libby: I'm speechless! You both win.

Mama Zen said...

Actually, people are still pretty polite down here. I guess it's one of the advantages of living in hillbilly heaven.

Ily said...

Some people feel it's a waste of time, not only to write thank you notes, but to SAY thank you. It's sad...and what's sadder is their kids are watching and turning into their sorry-ass parents. I notice more and more people feel a sense of entitlement these days and then wonder why they have a hard time getting what they want. Kindness and acknowledging a kind act go a long way.

Riot Kitty said...

MZ: And where would that be? I might have to move there.
Ily: I know, right? I wish it didn't piss me off so much!

Green tea said...

OMG we had the same Mother !

mac said...

I was raised by a very polite woman.

Sometimes, it shows...sometimes, I'm glad she lives in Florida and can't hit me from here ;-)

Shionge said...

In my opinion, I think society at large is not so gracious & polite anymore that's where our Government is coming up with more Kindness Campaign, More Gracious etc.

In my opinion, people are too busy with their cell phones, iphones, ipad, mp3, playstation that there is not much human contact and social etiquette anymore which is a sad thing ;(

k. said...

OMG, apparently down in LA, nobody understands elevator etiquette. 100% of the time my elevator got to my stop, in all kinds of locations, people were crowded in front of the elevator and WOULD NOT MOVE AWAY so people could get off.

it was so weird! they didn't try to shove on first or anything, they just fucking STOOD there blocking the exit like cattle.