Saturday, March 06, 2010

Inquiring minds want to know

Things I want to know the answers to:

1. Why do people who are in the lane next to you, turning the opposite direction from you, but who have (mind you) no visibility issues, pull way out in front of you while they're waiting, thus blocking your visibility? And why do they all tend to be in SUVs? (OK, I know the answer to that second one.)

2. Why do the women in advertisements for hair coloring and shampoo products look like their hairstyles are out of a 1973 high school yearbook? Does anyone really wear "wings" these days? Why would this make me want to use these products? Do they picture someone reading this ad thinking, "OMG! That's just what I looked like in my senior picture in 1975! If I buy this product, I'll look like that again! Even though this mag is targeting 18-25s and I'm not their target market, anyway!"

3. Why do some people go out of their way - unsolicited - to offer things, and then never deliver? One person comes to mind who does this over and over again, but they're sensitive enough that I can't call them on it without a scene.

4. Craigslist - oh boy, where do I begin? This could have entire subcategories. Craigslist question #1: Why do people try to haggle with you when your ad says "price firm"? This happened to Mr. RK a couple of times in as many days. Why these shitheads really think if they show up and offer you less - after you've told them in your ad, AND on the phone, that your price is firm? It seems to be either haggling over a few bucks, like $10 or $20, which hardly seems worth it, or totally lowballing you, like offering $250 for a laptop you're advertising for $400, which is just insulting.

I really want to know why people do this. Do they expect us to say, "Hey, you know what? I was irritated the first time you asked about this, but since then, I've come around, and I don't mind being ripped off. Here's the goody for $XX less."

5. Craigslist question #2 - Why are THE MOST FUCKING ANNOYING PEOPLE shopping there? Case in point - a bitch who came over to buy a cheap amplifier for her grandson from Mr. RK. First, she's an hour and a half late. The only reason we were around is because we're both feeling a bit under the weather. (For that matter, I hope you caught our colds, lady.) Second, she haggles on the phone AND in person, trying to knock $15 off an already cheap price. Mr. RK just wanted to get rid of it. Third - she is FUCKING ANNOYING AS FUCK! She spent about 15 or 20 minutes trying to haggle, comparing the sound quality to a $700 amp she had just looked at in the mall. I was in the other room and it was all I could do not to literally go into my living room and say, "Hey, Mr. RK! I'll buy the fucking amp SO THIS FUCKING ANNOYING BITCH CAN GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR HOUSE!"

I'm not kidding. But I didn't want to make Mr. RK annoyed.

Had I been alone with the cats, I would have just come out and said that ;)

6. Why do the most irritating people have such an inflated sense of self-importance? And why are they all involved with events at my work?

7. Does anyone actually like Big Bird? I mean, find him endearing? Or does he strike you, like he strikes me, as a great big whiny annoying yellow fuck?

If you can answer all of these questions, I'll send you a gift card to Starbucks.


Darrin.. said...

OOF.. You really want to get me going don't you? These are HUGE pet peeves of mine!!

1). Inconsiderate, oblivious, morons who have a sense of self entitlement. When I'm in my larger vehicle I never do this to people. I can see just fine (over their car) and there's no need to pull up farther.

2.) It's that THICK hair they're pushing. Someone with super thin hair sees that, and thinks "Wow.. if my hair were that thick, I could do all kinds of stuff with it". Trust me.. years ago I did the same thing once or twice with Men's hair products.

3.) UGH.. I'm not entirely sure.. but everyone that does it are also overly sensitive. I think i makes them feel better about themselves in some way.

4.) One word... Opportunists. They think they've got you over a barrel and you NEED the money, so they're going to cash in.

5.)There's a cosmic force which draws these people there. Just like garage sales. I don't even have them anymore because I get so stressed out by the hagglers who want to give you a buck for something that's marked $10.00. HELL... I had a lady bitching about a couch I was GIVING AWAY for FREE because it was worn around the edges!! WTF did the BITC# WANT? For me to give her the couch PLUS pay HER something for HER trouble?!?!

6). AH yes... this had me updating my resume this week! These people are just trying to impress someone and get a foothold so as to climb the ranks. They get involved with crap they have NO business in, and usually little or no expertise with. ARGGHHH this makes my life hell!!!

7.) Heck no I don't like him. Never did!! Give me someone with a real personality like OSCAR any day!!!

Wow... the same things that piss you off, really strike a chord with me too! I must go now and get a shot of medicinal Rum to bring my blood pressure back. LOL!

Claire said...

I can't answer these, but I with you on Big Bird. I'm totally a Count Count kind of girl!


Lynn said...

I like Oscar the Grouch myself. That probably seems out of character for me.

So does Darrin get a gift card? :)

Ily said...

LOL @ your opinion of Big Bird. Porbrecito...but I totally agree with you; all those characters (with the exception of the Cookie Monster) are annoying!

Miami is full of people always trying to bargain...and believe it or not, if they whine enough, they win! It's annoying...more annoying than Sesame Street!

Ily said...

PS - That should've read, "Pobrecito." :)

Fireblossom said...

Who is Darrin? Where did he come from? And why has he already correctly answered all of the questions? Goddammit, I can't see around him! &^%$#@. LOL.

I am tickled that Ily said "Except Cookie Monster." Cookie Powa!

Big Bird is definitley lame. Like some radiation-mutated banana with clown feet.

I HATE IT when people pull up like that, and as you said, usually in SUVs. Grr!

Great post, Twin!

G said...

I think you finally got the drop on me this time. I don't think I can come up with anything to out top this post unless I really share intimate details about the "mental Einsteins"...which of course would only get me into a world of trouble....


Regarding Big Bird, I'm sure you got that classic Sesame Street Thanksgiving dinner picture floating around, right?


Aliceson said...

As much as I could go for a double mocha from Starbucks right now, I can't answer those questions either mostly because those things annoy the hell out of me too.

My husband sells stuff on craigslist quite regularly. Mostly big stuff like tractors, snowblowers and such. Besides the annoying haggling, we get constant offers to trade even if he puts NO TRADES right in the ad. No, we don't want your shitty '89 blazer even if you put a new transmission in it less than a year ago. Fucking annoying!

vivavavoom said...

no answers to these awesome questions, but I will never look at Big Bird the same way again. :)

Mike_D said...

Hmmm...excellent questions.

1. I feel good that I know enough spanish to know what pobrecito means! Yeah me!

2. People can't drive. And if you're in an SUV, you think you're the shit.

3. Big Bird is obviously delusional. He converses with a Snuffleophagus (sp?) who is an imaginary friend. And he's at least in his '50's.

4. Ah welcome to retail hell... Just the other day I dealt with a dude who kept returning his cheap reading glasses to get new ones and was very impatient. I also had to walk a lady out to her car because some junkie kept hassling her. Fun times.

yee-haw! And me word verification is "testi."

Granny Annie said...

You almost killed my son! He came in the kitchen when I was reading your post and I read #7 aloud. He laughed so hard he almost choked to death on a piece of cornbread.

Riot Kitty said...

You all crack me up!

I am glad no one died!

Darrin: You win. I knew you would! To claim your prize, e-mail me your address and last name:

Riot Kitty said...

PS FB: Like some radiation-mutated banana with clown feet.
*Falls over laughing!*

G: Now I have to know about mental Einsteins!

Goose said...

on the turning thing...why do people A) treat even quite modest turns as if they are "come to a complete stop, then procede at bumper boat speed" and B) before making even the most innoculous turns, swing waaaaaaaayyyy out the opposite way so nobody can get by, even in the adjacent lane

And no, Big Bird is no more likable than 99% of the rest of Sesame Street.

LL Cool Joe said...

Never seen Big Bird and never heard of Craigslist. Who the hell is Craig? I never notice the women that advertise hair colouring! Seeing as I like my women to look like GI Jane, that's no big surprise!

Mama Zen said...

Just yesterday, I saw an ad on television for some sort of hair something. It featured the girl from Lost looking like she had just took all the hot rollers out of her Farrah wig. And, I wondered . . .

Riot Kitty said...

Goose: I love everyone else on Sesame Street, just not him!
Joey: Craig is the guy (surprise, surprise) who started craigslist, which is a community web site with jobs, volunteer gigs, things for sale, etc. Check out the hair coloring ads ;)
MZ: I know, right?!

Green tea said...

You have such an inquisitive mind Kitty, I wish you lived nest door to me !!! :)