Saturday, December 26, 2009

Ghosts of presents past

One of the great things about kids is their honesty.

Mr. RK's nephew opening his first present from us: "I have this one already."

Thank God for gift receipts...although he decided to take it to his dad's house and have one of each at each house. He seemed to like his other presents a lot.

Don't you wish you could have a moment of unpunished honesty when you get presents that are not of your liking?

For years, my grandparents sent the most god-awful presents - mainly from the Avon catalog - and one year, my dad and my uncle realized my grandmother had gotten them both the same dog-on-the-moon thermal drink holder. (I'm not making this up. Avon has a special, detailed ugliness that only Avon can have.)

Some of the gifts were downright hilarious though - especially the ones from the grandmother whom we all refer to as "Grandma Flippy." Grandma Flippy has sent me things such as a size 3XL shirt with a bear on it (I am a petite, 5'3" person); athletic knee socks that came up to mid-thigh (sports kink, anyone?); a gold nugget on a chain; and this year, a huge glittery snowflake necklace (chain tangled) that might be appropriate if I was still eight. Bonus: two holes in the box where earrings were - except Grandma Flippy removed them and presumably gave them to someone else!

When I was a reporter, I wrote a column about this one year, hoping to inspire Dave Barry-like laughs. I got five nasty letters to the editor, from people threatening to adopt my grandparents. I'm not making this up. Some people have no sense of humor.

If I added up all of the Christmas presents I gave passed on to Goodwill over the years, I'd probably have enough deductions to interest the IRS.

I could care less about the actual physical getting of presents. What I really enjoy is the thought that is put into them. Mr. RK's mom, for instance, put God knows how many hours into making a gorgeous cloth Christmas book with pictures of our kitties. She is very talented and could sell this stuff for lots of money, but I am the beneficiary!

And in addition to my Debbie Harry Ladies of the 80s doll, Mr. RK got me a Charlie Brown DVD that I had apparently mentioned a year and a half ago (!!)

"We were looking at a list of Charlie Brown specials online," he reminded me, "and you said you hadn't seen that one. So I checked every few months until it was available."

That makes up for the years of kinky knee socks, methinks.


Pouty Lips said...

Mr. RK is definitely a keeper! How sweet was that?? I am trying to imagine the cloth kitties book. It sounds lovely.

Fireblossom said...

Niiiiiiice. You evil elder abuser you! Take that kitsch to your stoney little heart! LOL! or say, "I've already GOT a 3XL bear tee shirt!"

G said...

Let's see....3XL size shirt on a person whose only five foot three....can anyone say "nightgown"?

Must of gotten seriously lost in that one....:D

At least you got some great gifts this year, and yes indeed, sometimes its the thought that really counts.

Darth Weasel said...

could care less about the actual physical getting of presents. What I really enjoy is the thought that is put into them.

Quoted for truth. The concept of Christmas I love. The execution...well, that word should involve the people with the attitudes that make me so Grinch-like.

Gifts are not something to be demanded, insisted on, or even expected. 5 minuted not being interrupted by the evil step mom about irrelevant things where I could talk to Dad...that would be a good Christmas.

Stressing out over how to get something for the greedy 7 and 9 year old kids when you cannot pay your basic bills (as people I know quite well had to do) and then complaining about the stuff your parents got you from toy and joy? pish posh, a murrain upon thee.

Kudos to people like mS. RK senior, and you and mr RK for stuff like the painted ornaments, donations in names to charities, wooden bowls, etc. and shame on...well, the majority of people.

Lynn said...

Thanks for the morning chuckle, Riot Kitty. :) The first Christmas I was married, my (now ex) mother-in-law gave my husband clothes and gave me a sewing basket! The funny think is - I do actually use it still for housing needle and thread for the rare occasion that I sew on a button.

Granny Annie said...

About a year ago my goddaughter revealed a dark and unhappy secret about the worst Christmas presents she and her brother ever received. It seems they were from ME! The Christmas she recalled was a year that I actually believed I had given them the BEST presents ever. Proves once again that one man's trash is another man's treasure.

Riot Kitty said...

PL: He is and it is! I will post pics.
FB: I will!
G: It was pretty fucking funny to open that package, I can tell you.
Darth: So true!
L: You are welcome. That is hilarious...
GA: You totally cracked me up at that last line!

Aliceson said...

Why do old ladies think AVON is a suitable gift, especially for kids?

Atta boy, Mr. RK!

Riot Kitty said...

Aliceson: I know, right?! Fortunately she doesn't send gifts anymore :)

LL Cool Joe said...

Hey I only missed this one post mate!! :D I thought I must have failed to comment on loads of your posts from your comment on my blog!!! :D

Oh, I hate most of the crap I get given at Christmas. That's why I write a list, but then someone always thinks they know me better than I know myself and buys me pink satin clothes hangers or something like that. :D

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

Riot Kitty said...

Hey Joey! I must be losing my brain then, no surprise ;)

Pink satin clothes hangers?! That deserves a post of its own...