Monday, July 22, 2013

I don't care if 70 is the new 50, I still don't want to see it!

If you haven't seen the headlines (and if you had asked me when I was in journalism classes if I thought this would be considered "news," I would have laughed at you), Geraldo Rivera, in a quest to prove he's still desirable, tweeted a half-naked pic saying that 70 is the new 50.

Guys, that may be so, but guess what? I can safely speak for the majority of straight and bi women when I say that WE DON'T WANT YOU TO TWEET OR TEXT YOUR JUNK. Any of it. At any age. ESPECIALLY UNINVITED.

This should go without saying, no? But I find myself thrilled that I got married before texting photos and Twitter were super popular, because I don't have to deal with things like...

1. Having one date with a guy, saying nicely it wouldn't work out, and then having him text every few months afterwards, at 4 a.m., once with a naked picture. (Yes, this really happened to my friend, who was mostly offended that he was in a ... relaxed mood. Don't ask me.)

Tip for the uninitiated: unless we ask you for naked pics, WE DON'T WANT ANY ON OUR PHONES. If we do ask, you had better pray that a. no one else ever gets a hold of that phone, b. we never break up with you, and c. you never give us a reason to share said pic.

2. Having no dates with a guy who kept nagging, and then, thinking it would cause a change of heart, text a naked picture. (Yes, this really happened to another friend.)

Who in their right mind was going to say, "Well! I wasn't going to give you the time of day, but I've changed my mind now, based on the totally unsolicited picture of your junk. Here I come, handsome!"

Seriously, why do some guys do this and think it's cool? Oh wait...they want to run for mayor in New York. I get it now.


25 comments:

Lee said...

My late grandmother (who wasn't a prude by any form, shape or meaning)once said to me: "There is nothing attractive about a naked man!"

And, I know that many will disagree with me...but I do agree with my Nana's observation!

I was seeing a guy (seeing the operative word, I think!)for a while a number of years ago, back in the Nineties; and he insisted on lounging around my abode sans clothes...even perching himself up on a kitchen stool! Yuck! A quick put-off, I can tell you!

I pretty promptly put him into his place; and he put on his gear to cover his gear!

Introverted Art said...

And he is a Fox contributor... I don't know what they will do. But dude looks pretty good I think. But I agree with you. Self exposure has achieved new heights with the internet.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Men are weird. Glad I'm a lesbian.

CraveCute said...

I had the same reaction to the Geraldo Rivera (news?). They flashed the picture this morning on a morning show, I almost spewed my coffee. Ewww Ewww! Do not want to see that!! Most guys over 50 should keep their shirts on!! RK I agree with your observations!

Birdie said...

As a straight woman I have this quote...

Elaine - Well, female body is a work of art. The male body is utilitarian. It's for getting around. It's like a Jeep.

Jerry - So you don't think it's attractive?

Elaine - It's hideous. The hair, the lumpiness. It's simian.

Jerry - Well, some women like it.

Elaine- Sickies.

And I could not agree more. Mens bodies are not attractive.

Charles Gramlich said...

Yeah, someone on facebook posted it. yuck.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

'm not a prude, but, am very glad that I am too old for all this crap! People sending naked pictures over the Net---on their phones??? OY!!
I don't think ALL men's body's are ugly---in fact, some male bodes are fantastic....BUT....still, I do not want to see anyone's "junk"...(A very strange expression, to me....)
Geraldo...PLEASE put on your clothes, honey.....! Nobody gives a crap! 70 is the new 50?? LOL! I don't think so.

Riot Kitty said...

Lee: Ugh, seriously?! I would have booted him without giving him the chance to get dressed!
IA: Captured new heights indeed! No pun intended ;)
Debra: Haha! Years of civil rights battles, but at least no sexting.
CC: At least I saw the headline first. My coffee would have been all over the keyboard.
Birdie: Excellent! I didn't see that episode.
Charles: And why couldn't they leave well enough alone?!
Naomi: HAHA! Well said as always. I was leary of using the word junk, but my little brother reads this blog, and I wanted to keep it clean(ish) ;)

Elephant's Child said...

Eeeuw. Mind you can we expect anything different from a gender who have been known to think with their genitals AND use them as a GPS as well (should I go there? Oh, you think I should so I will). Obviously this important organ is also attractive (not to me sunshine.)

LL Cool Joe said...

I'm not interested in seeing naked photos of men or women's parts. Trust me there are many women that do this too. It's not just a male thing.

Now I know why I'm pansexual. :)

LL Cool Joe said...

ps. There are a few comments here, that have bugged me, but I'll keep quiet. ;)

Just one thing though about a mans body. I don't think there is anything more attractive than a beautifully toned and muscular chest on a man whether bio or trans. And equally, a round peachy butt on a woman is a work of perfection too. :)

Lynn said...

I always thought of Geraldo as being a bit narcissistic, now I know he is. :)

One of my friends went on a blind date that was also a double date with one of her friends and her boyfriend. They went back to the friend's house and the other couple went into another room. My friend went to the restroom and when she came out, the blind date guy was stretched out on the floor naked, on his side "Burt Reynolds centerfold" style. Needless to say - she got out of there. She said he had this smirky look on his face, too.

DWei said...

Some guys are really proud of their bodies. And in their state of mind they truly believe that all the ladies will want to jump on them once they get a look at them.

Simply narcissism.

G. B. Miller said...

Um yah.

Speaking as a hetero who enjoys writing about/describing in comfortable detail about the opposite sex, I can safely agree that a woman's body can indeed be a work of art. If you have any disagreement, just check out the scads of sci-fi/fantasy pics that pepper the real/cyber world.

Having said that, I can also safely say that most men are not the be all to end all (unless you happen to check out any erotica/romance female author's FB page).

Rock Chef said...

Ew, another reason to dislike Geraldo...

Dexter Klemperer said...

Hmmmm, trying to figure out how to add naked picture to this comment...

Cheryl said...

Seriously? Geraldo wants to know if he is still desirable...when was he EVER desirable.

This whole sexting thing is ridiculous.

Claire T said...

Good grief!

Abby said...

Well, no, I hadn't heard or seen the Geraldo "headline". He's still around??
I told my husband that his plumbing is much like that in our house. I like having it and I like it to work well, but I don't necessarily want to have it hanging out for all to see all the time.

Ileana said...

LOL - Again, NO ONE wants to see their junk. I don't even like paintings or drawing of nude men and when one of them is posing at the Art Center I deal with it when I must but I try to avoid going on those nights. I'm straight, as you know, but find the male body when photographed nude either funny or ridiculous...but that might just be me.

Riot Kitty said...

Wow, you talk about lots of comments fast! Everyone is cracking me up, thank you ;)

Riot Kitty said...

Oh and Joey, what bugged you? I am curious.

Lee said...

Never fear, RC. I saw him again after that! ;)

And it didn't displease me at all!

Riot Kitty said...

Lee: I take it you liked what you saw? ;)

Kathleen said...

I saw the Geraldo selfie...and it cannot be unseen, sadly. And maybe I am a prude, but I've never seen the appeal of "sexting" as the kids are calling it these days. Of course, I also don't approve of being naked in real life, so yes...it's probably me. ;-)