Wednesday, June 19, 2013

More from the office: of religion and oral...stuff

Knowing this blog is linked with the title to some others, and some of those others have prude followers, I abbreviated.

But here is a sentence I said at work, to a colleague, that I never imagined I'd say in the context of work (or anywhere else for that matter): "Just because someone is waving around a Bible and talking about oral sex DOES NOT mean you should pepper spray him!"

As my friend Mike D said, that demands a backstory. And a backstory it has.

One of the directors at one of our chapters in a neighboring state is on leave, and the interim replacement and I were chatting about some things. Normal things: events, letters of support for grants, etc. Then she says, "I need to ask your advice about something."

Me: "Go on."

Her: "There's this man that keeps coming in and waving around a Bible and talking about oral sex, and saying people should be allowed to do what they like. One of my volunteers felt threatened, and I asked what she needed to feel safe, and she said pepper spray. Do you think it's OK for us to have pepper spray?"

Me: "Has he made any threats?"
Her: "No."
Me: "Has he indicated that he was going to be violent?"
Her: "No, he just keeps waving around a Bible and talking about oral sex."

Then I said the sentence I wrote above.

Then I had to explain to everyone in the office who was within earshot, as it's not the kind of thing you say without explanation (at least in my line of work. I can't speak for everyone.)

I am wondering if what my great-grandmother said is true, and it takes all kinds of people to make a world, or if what Mr. RK says is true, and that we're just stuck with the kinds that are here.

And no, the lolcat has nothing to do with the post, but I didn't want to do too specific of an internet search for obvious reasons.


wigsf3 said...

Waving around a Bible and talking about oral sex? THAT'S MY MOVE!!!

Rock Chef said...

Has he found a verse that agrees with his attitude? There must be one somewhere!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Great story! I enjoyed the final line most of all -- oh what mental images it conjured up! Yikes!

Betty Manousos said...

there's nothing like reading a great narrative. great story, rt! thank you.

" takes all kinds of people to make a world" so very true! love it!:))

big hugs!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

"....Waving around the Bible and Talking about Oral Sex...."
Hmmmmmm. Maybe he is for it!!! (lol)....Is that a real possibility? Gee, I hope so.

Abby said...

Well, there's a pick up tactic I'd not heard of...

A Beer For The Shower said...

It seems like people will pepper spray anyone at the drop of a hat, even over a simple annoyance.

Also, what is Bible guy trying to achieve? Regardless of how you feel/believe, I can't think of a single person who's seen a guy waving a Bible and screaming, and thought, "you know, this guy has a point. I'm going to believe what he says."

LL Cool Joe said...

Are you sure it wasn't Michael Douglas?

Memphis Steve said...

I once said something at work that I thought required no explanation at all, and yet resulted in half the office asking me for more details. I said "I once worked with a woman who looked like Marisa Miller and our boss kept trying to sleep with her because he didn't know she had a girlfriend and he was wasting his time." Seems pretty self-explanatory to me, but apparently it required mucho backstory.

Cheryl said...

I think you sound like the voice of reason. While Bible man sounds like a nut, I don't see the need to spray him. If we went around spraying every nutbag with pepper spray, there would be an extreme shortage of the stuff.

Riot Kitty said...

WIGSF: And let me know how that goes for you.
RC: The jury's still out on that one.
Betty: I'm just the scribe. I couldn't make this stuff up!
Naomi: Apparently so!
Abby: No kidding. I'm wondering where else he does this, though.
ABFTS: Agreed and agreed!
Joey: Good one ;)
Steve: I think they wanted to salivate over the backstory.
Cheryl: Very true!

Elephant's Child said...

I hope that no-one ever gives me any pepper spray. I don't resist temptation all that well. Though the bible waver wouldn't be one of the ones who tempted me...
Great story, and thank you. Love the cat too.

Lynn said...

That kitty is giving the same look my cat Cleo gave when I brought the new kitten into the house - like an evil movie cat. :)

I'd be tempted to pepper spray that guy, but you're right, probably not a good idea.

Charles Gramlich said...

Yes, I think pepper spray is a bit over the top. Perhaps a simple "Sir, can you stop coming in here and speaking as you do," might suffice?

Ileana said...

Oh, tell her to go for it...a little pepper spray never hurt a Christian. He may even be able to turn it into wine. That'd be cool. :)

Riot Kitty said...

EC: No kidding! Thanks :)
L: There aren't a lot of people I'm tempted to pepper spray, but lots that I want to smack.
Charles: Seriously!
Ily: HAHA! Excellent, chica!

Lee said...