Friday, June 28, 2013


Don't ask me why, but when it gets above 90 degrees, I turn into a witch. I don't know if this is due to the fact that my body doesn't process heat very well (I'm usually cold, and when it's hot, I just overheat), or because I can just be a superbitch on occasion. Please keep your opinions to yourself!

So I haven't had a good rant here in awhile, and today's the day! OK, really, I would like to know if any of the following would irritate you, or otherwise cause you to spontaneously fry your hands and eat them:

1. Someone who doesn't understand something, rather than finding a solution and moving on, or asking for help, keeps repeating the situation to you. And when you say you understand, and make a suggestion, they ignore you and say, "What I'm trying to say IS..." and repeat themselves again.
What I said: "I understand, and I'm suggesting XYZ."
What I wanted to say: "I fucking get it! You repeating yourself over and over again doesn't change the fact that this is a stupid conversation and you don't know how to follow instructions!"
2. This same person can't seem to grasp the fact that they must actually enter an extension number for a phone call to be transferred, rather than just hitting one button on the phone. This person insisted that "the other phone worked fine," however, no one else has ever had this issue.
What I said: "Just go ahead and dial the extension if that works."
What I wanted to say: "Bloody hell! Am I your babysitter? You're in college. You've been married, owned a house, and have raised children. Don't waste my time on this shit and tell me there's a ghost in the machine!"

Captain Subtext threatened to take over at any moment. Bonus points if you get that reference.

3. The phone, and a few odd calls, being attributed to the "lasting effects" of Sunday's full moon. Same person, at least once a day, prefaces a sentence with, "I don't know how spiritual you are, but..." and then proceeds to go off on tangents that, IMHO, have nothing spiritual about them.
What I said: "Hmm."
What I wanted to say: "You could use a good dose of shut the fuck up!"

4. This person asking for help, getting instructions, and then saying, "Well, I'm not sure that's going to help," and starting to search for something completely unrelated.
What I said: "I have experience with XYZ, and that will help."
What I wanted to say: "Are you fucking serious? You have no experience in this area, so you ask for help, and then you decide you know better? What the fuck!"

5. This person not shutting up all week.

6. It being hot. Did I mention it was hot?

Is it me? I try to be patient. Outwardly, I was patient. Internally, I was cursing her a blue streak.

Which reminds me, my friend K. got me this fantastic gift, which I am sending to a couple of people who are going through tough times. Is this a gift that would make you laugh? Or should I have sent a fruitcake?


Elephant's Child said...

I am in awe at your patience. This woman would have tested mine at the best of times, and made me yearn to rip her into small pieces which I then danced on, chanting obsene and repetitive words. In the heat? I would have had to send her family a condolence card before turning myself in.
And that is a WONDERFUL gift.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I think the Little Box of Obscenities is the perfect gift for anyone going through a tough time!

P.S. If you pull out all your hair in frustration, they make some beautiful wigs these days.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

That gift is perfection! LOL!!!!

That person would drive me to drink!!!! OY VEY!!! What a pain in the butt!
You, are a Saint! You truly are!

Lynn said...

Sounds like you have your hands full there. You can always rant to us.

And I hate the heat, too. We have soul sucking humidity in the south, too. It just makes me SAD. :)

LL Cool Joe said...

I'm always scared to send you an email incase you are thinking the same about me!! I think I'm guilty of doing at least 2 of the things you've mentioned!

I want the heat!!!

Charles Gramlich said...

yes, such things bug me, but as a teacher I really, really, really have to try and keep it under control. Because this is typically a day to day experience in my line of work. I have been known to say, "had but students one throat." :)

G. B. Miller said...

My new co-worker has already been forewarned about the fact that I often talk to my computer when it comes to dealing with numbnuts of the greater monetary persuasion (aka people who make twice my salary and can't do diddly w/o step-by-step instructions). 'Course, he was a bit shocked when he happened to eavesdrop the first time, but was quickly put to right once my other co-workers gave him the 411.

Cheryl said...

The heat bothers me as well, but that obtuse person you are describing would bug the absolute shit out of me in any kind of weather. I abhor people that don't listen or ignore what they do hear. I applaud you for the exterior show of patience, I would be hard pressed not to show irritation. Does bitch slapping someone give off the vibe of irritation?

I love that little box of obscenities!!! I need some of those.

Kathleen said...

I'm blaming the heat; it's over 90 degrees here and if you add in the humidity factor, it stands to reason that I'm angry at everyone. Besides, it's better to blame the weather as opposed to blaming normal human stupidity. At least the weather changes, so you can stay optimistic.

Riot Kitty said...

EC: Thank you. I was in awe of my patience too!
Debra: The one person who got it loved it, fortunately :)Thanks for the tip about wigs!
Naomi: Thanks! I hope you had a good!
Lynn: I appreciate it! And soul-sucking is a good way to put it.
Joey: Never! You've never annoyed me. You can have the heat.
Charles: That is a fantastic expression.
GB: That is hilarious! I talk to it too, but so far haven't warned anyone.
Cheryl: I should try the bitch-slapping and let you know!
Kathleen: Your last line is PERFECT.

The Blue Grumpster said...

Which is exactly why I didb't invite you for a drink.... it being 96 degrees and all ;) Mmmmm? Mmmmmm.

Ileana said...

OMG, you are sooo patient but in a world where you could say what you're really'd make an entertaining reality show, mi'ja! LOL

Why don't people want help or think about the suggestions you're offering (that WORK!) instead of trying to find something more to bitch about (or in most cases, the same thing to bitch about worded a little differently)?? I don't get it.

PS - I want that gift! How perfect...and btw, those kitties are PURRRRRRRRFECT, too! lol

Lee said...

I'm the original "grumpy old woman"...I was born this stand in line, RC!! ;)

I don't like the heat either! I prefer cooler temps these least you can rug up and get warm. In the heat all you do is sweat. Clothes stick to you when you trying to get dressed. Arrrrrgggggghhh! Give me a nice turtle-neck knit top any day of the week!!!!

Riot Kitty said...

Blue: 97 here today. Indoor drinks?
Ily: That's a hilarious idea, chica! I don't get it either. You really want the gift? I can send it!
Lee: HAHA! Excellent. And I agree. Hot just sucks.

A Beer For The Shower said...

I can't handle people like that. I get snappy, fast. Especially when you give them the solution and they drop that bomb: "I don't think that'll help." Then proceed to do the same thing they've been doing all day, which is clearly wrong and has never worked, but might suddenly work now that they're trying it for the eleventh time in a row.

CraveCute said...

Hahahaha! You are so funny! Uh, I mean, I am so sorry you have to put up with these people! The older I get, the grumpier and more impatient I am get with people that should know better. As far as the heat, I hate it when it gets over 85. That's why we moved from MO to MN!

Riot Kitty said...

ABFTS: I know, right? The powers that be seem to have worked things out. She's gone.
CC: Thank you ;) I think I started out grumpy.

DWei said...

I hate the heat too which is why I'm always sitting in my basement room which is nice and cool.

I either die or fall asleep in the heat. Too drained to be cranky.

Betty Manousos said...

i'm really impressed by your patience. that person would drive me crazy. i would probably lose it in situations like this one.

summer heat is on, and i hate it, too!
i think the heat drives people insane in so many ways.

Betty Manousos said...

...and i love that little box of obscenities!

big hugs~

Shionge said...

Hi Hi RK....sorry been absence for a while and will update my blog soon :)

I am with you on this and I've 'exploded' way beyond my control years ago and even now, wanted very much to hurl vulgarity at times but just have to 'restrain' myself hahahahah....

I love the gift :"D

Riot Kitty said...

DW: I wish I had that problem. I Just get cranky!
Betty: Thanks! And you're right.
Shionge: Hey! Can't wait for an update ;)

Rock Chef said...

The fridge magnets are great - maybe add one of those magazines with pointless stories about pointless celebrities so they can cut out the pictures and write nasty things about them?

Riot Kitty said...

RC: Excellent idea!

Green Tea said...

I loved my little gift dolly..:)

Riot Kitty said...

GT: So glad. HUGS!!