Friday, February 01, 2013

Why be discreet?

You have to love an app that signs you up for an emergency condom delivery service.

That's right - if you haven't read about this, Durex will now "discreetly" deliver condoms within an hour to those in need.

By "discreetly," apparently their delivery people will pose as pizza delivery people, or "a lost tourist" (huh?), etc.

I'm just curious though...why be discreet? Wouldn't you want the neighborhood to know you're getting some? I think I know some people who would even call others to let them know, and then take pictures of the delivery man arriving!


In fact, this could start to be a status thing. Why not have them come by (no pun intended) four or five times a day? It could get competitive!

Would you use such a service? Inquiring minds want to know. Inquiring minds also want to know, where were you fuckers (also no pun intended) when I needed you back in college?

21 comments:

Birdie said...

In my neighborhood you can go to the local health unit and pick them up for free. As many as you want. Handfuls and handfuls. However, I am no longer needing them but I every time I see them I want to empty the basket into my purse just to see the look on the nurses face.

LL Cool Joe said...

Wow, you have to wait that long? An hour? Hmm.

wigsf3 said...

Discretion is necessary. Sometimes you don't want certain people to know you're having sex. For example a spouse. Would your spouse be happy to find out you were gettin' a li'l somethin'-somethin'.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I think they should pull up to the door in an ambulance-like vehicle, lights flashing, sirens blaring, "EMERGENCY CONDOMS" emblazoned on the side. The driver should leap out holding a box of condoms and run up to your house at full speed like his life depends on it. Now THAT'S a worthwhile service.

Cheryl said...

I was thinking along the lines of Debra She Who Seeks....only I hadn't thought about the flashing lights.
This is a real good idea for a start UP (no pun intended) business.

Can't you just imagine the equivalent of the wiener-mobile driving around town with a catchy name like "we come so you can come too" or "Nooners Sooner" OK I might have to think of some catchier names for my company. I'll work on it.

Theta^2 said...

Debra has the right idea. Riding in an ambulance with EMERGENCY CONDOM on it is a much better way to deliver condoms. I just fear that the delivery person would come up with hundreds of puns whilst delivering condoms.

Charles Gramlich said...

Being married and all, I don't think this is a service I shall require.

Riot Kitty said...

Birdie: I say go for it!
Joey: That thought popped into my head, too.
WIGSF: In that case, they should call it the SOS delivery service for assholes.
Debra: I agree!
Cheryl: Totally waiting for it.
Theta: Hmm, good point. Maybe that's a no-no in the employee manual?
CG: Cheers. I hated those things.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL....I think that is great! It just goes to show you that just about anything one can think of that one might need, is just a phone call away....I wonder why it takes so long?? An hour. Hmmmmm.

Granny Annie said...

I am pretty old but I laughed at the post and at some of the great comments. I too am curious about the hour wait because Ron and I both can't remember anything we were planning to do five minutes ago. We wouldn't know why the delivery guy was there.

G. B. Miller said...

Sure would've made things a helluva lot easier for me back in the day.

Mike_D said...

"My god, man! Get out of the way! Can't you see I'm delivering emergency condoms!!! I need to go to the aforementioned meeting place!!!"

Riot Kitty said...

OLOTH: I was also wondering why it takes so long! You could run out and get them a lot faster ;)
GA: Never too old to laugh! I have been seriously forgetful lately as well...
GB: Tell me about it!
Mike: BWAHAHA! And happy friend-o-versary!

Ileana said...

This is great but no, I'm not a condom kinda girl (well, not now)...and if I were, I'd expect them to "come" in 30 minutes or less or the condoms are free! An hour can kill a mood. Seriously.

Lynn said...

The lol cat made lol! :) Of course I wouldn't have done that - I would have made someone go out and get it. :)

Rock Chef said...

Maybe the delivery van has a big model of one on the roof, like those hot dog vans have?

A Beer For The Shower said...

I'd do this and make it really, really awkward.

Me: "Follow me back to my house."

They walk inside. No one's there.

Me: "Okay, now take off your pants." Delivery person: "Huh?"
Me: "Well, since you brought them, we might as well use them..."

Betty Manousos said...

wow, an hour? that's too long!

that kitty jpeg made me literally lol!
your posts are always priceless!


have a great week ahead~

Riot Kitty said...

Ily: Depends on what happens in that hour!
RC: That would be fantastic.
ABFTS: There's a scene from the BBC series "Coupling" that went sort of that way. Double dog dare you ;)
Betty: Thanks!

Darth Weasel said...

Along the lines of "things we never knew we needed but were secretly desperate for" is where I would put this. Reminds me of the scene from Coupling, "In the Cupboard of Patrick's Love" when she says something along the lines of "All this time I thought he was lonely, turns out I was just gagging for a good shag". Who knows what we need when we need what we know we want?

Riot Kitty said...

That is hilarious! I forgot about that scene.