Monday, September 05, 2011

A question for Facebook users (and non-users)


Full disclosure: for a variety of reasons, I am not on Facebook. That said, I do find it useful that we have a page at my work - we post advocacy updates, events, etc., and I do not have to have my own account to do this.

Most of my friends have FB accounts, and many of you probably do as well - so I ask you, is it me? Or is it incredibly tacky to post very emotionally dramatic stuff on one's Facebook wall for all the world to see? Especially if your profile is not private? And what is the point of doing this over and over again, except maybe for attention?

For instance...one of my friends was horrified awhile back because her spouse announced their separation very publicly on Facebook, even before she could tell all of their friends. I was horrified just hearing about that.

Something similar happened recently with some extended family and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Maybe it's just me (how many sentences start like that?), but I tend to keep my private stuff between good friends and close family.

What's your take?

21 comments:

Lynn said...

I do have a facebook account, but I typically just hit "like" or make the occasional comment on others' status. Facebook has been a good way to keep up with extended family and friends.

But I do not think private things such as what you describe above are appropriate for facebook. An acquaintance was telling me about posting that her son had a "broken heart" one night after a breakup with a girlfriend. She was horrified when some of her family members tacked on comments about the girl that were horrifyingly abusive. The girl's mother called her about it and that's when she closed her facebook account.

Scarlet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scarlet said...

You know I have a Facebook account and (this is probably a huge flaw) I have never felt privacy to be all that important to me since I bond with a lot of people (or I think I do). lol

Having said that, I will not post anything that's too personal...just when my son team win's a hockey tournament (or comes in 2nd place), where we'll be meeting later that evening (so the other neighborhood friends could join us if they want) and who the model will be on Wed. night so whoever wants to go knows what to expect. I also post quotes and recipes.

So far I've enjoyed the mingling. I laugh at some of the jokes and it's a place to get the latest news, too. I can't believe your friend's husband wrote about their separation. That's just nasty!

G said...

Ahh the beauty of Facebook. I won't bore you and everyone else of all the gory details of my Cyber existence since 2007, but the key lesson learned over the years that the level of privacy I want to maintain basically mirrors the Real World version.

Having said that, my privacy level on FB wavers between "Friends of Friends" seeing my stuff (i.e status updates) and "Friends", depending on my mood.

There are certain things that I will not post anywhere in my Cyber World, be it on the blog or on Facebook. The only mention that I will make to a specific issue publicly is when I post on my blog that I need to take a day or two off to deal with a personal problem.

If I want to let my friends know about something personal, I will let them know behind the scenes. Never in the public realm of the Cyber World.

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...

Well, the point of having a Facebook account IS to add your friends and family and keep them informed of your activities, but most people add random strangers and that defeats the purpose.

If you want to avoid embarrassment, just treat Facebook like Twitter - write asinine (but witty) Facebook updates and wait for people to shower you with "Likes."

Kev D. said...

Facebook is dumb, and I don't have an account.

I definitely think it is an attention grab. In my opinion, anyone who spends that much time wanting to browse through other people's personal lives online has some serious issues with their own lives.

So yeah, a bunch of attention seekers validating each other...

I couldn't imagine wasting time that way.

LL Cool Joe said...

I don't have Facebook, and have no desire to post anything on-line that family and so called friends could read. It's all just gossip and attention seeking I think.
But, I do take Lynn's point, I can see how it's a way of keeping in contact with family. I just don't want to!

A Beer for the Shower said...

Agreed with you and Kev. No account here. As if the whole world didn't already know about my problems. Seriously, I think my gossipy grandma's telephone "social network" could actually rival Facebook. Thanks, grandma.

Granny Annie said...

My group of family and friends on facebook does not include any drama queens. Thankfully we share day-to-day important events and pictures that we wouldn't see until the next time we were all together. Those pictures especially are enjoyed because there usually is not time to savor them at a gathering. I love my blog because it gives a bit more space for creativity but not a lot of drama there either. I'm not sure what these people who post unhappy and melodramatic details are attempting to achieve.

John McElveen said...

Private is as Private does! I don't know what that means except that anonymity --(except it isn't on FB!!), but used to be on the Net... made a lot of people bold in what they wrote! Now it isn't being censored by them on FB anymore.! I don't put one whit of my Privates--not even pictures on FB!! LOL

Not pictures of my....well you get the picture...

and to sum up this ramble-- NO--It's NOT just You!!!!

Hugs,

John

Can I say hugs on here????

Riot Kitty said...

Glad you're all with me on that one ;)

Riot Kitty said...

And yes, John, you can say hugs...who deleted their comment? :)

Logical Libby said...

I always find it horribly uncomfortable when someone posts stuff like that. It makes me want to defriend them, but then I would look like a dick.

Hollis H. Notgrass said...

Isn't having a blog forum open to the public a little bit like the pot calling the kettle black?! I mean, i think that all things can go too far (texting while driving is bad, but i'm not for getting rid of it altogether), and so called "facebook whores" do abound, but really?! how hypocritical can we get? OF COURSE IT'S FOR ATTENTION. and we all like attention. Hence, we blog, or comment on other's blogs, etc. There's no room to judge... after all no one says you have to do either one, people.

Riot Kitty said...

L: I'd go for looking like a dick ;)
H: There's plenty of room to judge. My blog. My opinion. And you really want people to be able to text while driving? Would you want to be in traffic with those people? Just curious.

Darth Weasel said...

I have to play the opposite side. With having moved across town, taken a different job, and generally hermiting up, FB is the only way I stay in touch with some people, including some friends who moved across country.

I think some people take it too far...and, by an amazing coincidence, I tend to think those same people tell me too much about stuff I do not care about when i see them live...

lgsquirrel said...

Facebook is symptomatic of modern society's desire for immediate gratification. Fast food, fast cars and Facebook are different manifestations of the same thing. And I think you are right about the attention seeking.

Anyway, I used to have a Facebook page but gave it up when friends complained that I did not respond to their pokes, gifts and other annoyances.

Green Tea said...

I think it all depends on how you view Facebook.
I got on it to connect to old friends and relatives..and I am so glad I did..I come from a very close family..My mom was very close to her 3 sisters and brother..so all of the cousins were together a lot till we reached adulthood..FB has brought all of us back together again..we share family news and pictures..Only friends can see my wall..and mostly I post political stuff to bug my Republican relatives..
It is all in how you choose to use it..
I respect those who prefer not to and I have many friends who feel that way..I am also on a FB political group where we share ideas and thoughts..I am sure it would be very boring to many..:)

Hollis H. Notgrass said...

LOL! No, you misunderstand me. I'm for getting rid of all texting while driving, just not saying "texting is stupid" because some people are morons with the technology they choose to partake in.
and yep... it IS your blog, your opinion, and your place to judge. Just pointing out the irony of some other people's viewpoints.

Riot Kitty said...

Darth: Yeah, agree with you on the last part...
LG: That would be annoying.
GT: True. Politics boring? Never!
H: LOL sorry about that! Yeah I get it now.

Shionge said...

I have a FB and I will not post anything personal for sure. It saddens me how some friends just got carried away firing sarcasm and offensive remarks towards their employers....definitely a No, No.

I do post some photos but nothing too personal too :D