Saturday, September 10, 2011

Epic fail!


Bear with me, as I don't want to write about 9/11 and am pissed off at Yahoo news for the story titled, "Relive 9/11 with pictures of..." Fuck off! We lived through it once already and it was bad enough the first time, assholes.

SO
Segue -


I don't know if I am just in the wrong generation...or don't know as many perverts as the rest of my friends do...but thus far no man I know has offered to send me a naked picture. (Please note: this is not an invite.)

But anyhow. One of my friends (in her 20s) told one of her friends to piss off after he had been hitting on her.

So he does a big mea culpa. A few weeks pass. Then he starts offering to send her a picture of his...you know.

"If you see it," he tells her, "it will change your mind!"

Tip for the uninitiated: women are not like men, in that we don't find naked pictures sexy (especially if they're just pictures of body parts with no one attached.)

PS This softcore porn (read: Victoria's Secret) postcard did arrive in this condition, with the model looking like a boobalicious vampire - probably the marks came from a mail shredder - so at least it gave us a laugh.

18 comments:

Lynn said...

I was wondering what was going on with her tooth. :)

LL Cool Joe said...

Damn I bought a new camera with a larger lens yesterday, for just the reason you mentioned. But you are saying it's waste of time? And no one wants to see my tackle? But it's really impressive! Damn. ;)

wigsf3 said...

I must admit, I'm a little bit disappointed that this was not an invite.

G said...

Wow.

I am simply speechless.

That would be a first here. But of course, that would be an epic fail if it were true.

However, I am dealing with 9/11 by not watching anything related to 9/11. I am only briefly mentioning it on my blog today, because the memory of it (even though I wasn't directly affected, only indirectly like everyone else here on this big blue marble) still bothers me to this day.

As for the other item, maybe he has issues with size. Perhaps he needs someone else to convince him that what he's seeing through his magnifying glass is actually the real deal.

lgsquirrel said...

You don't want naked pictures? Oh, great. Now what can I do with mine?

Senorita said...

I don't blame you for not wanting to write about 9/11.

Men always send me nakes pics, not even asking for my permission first, just sending me dick pics or cock shots.

Seriously, once you've seen one penis, you've seen them all. It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion in the ocean.

Why don't you and me trade places ? Then I can have a break, and you can see what a naked man via the internets looks like.

Darth Weasel said...

but you still want the pic I hacve ready for you of the naked goat, right?

right?

ps...if not, my secret sign-in word is mousl, so if naked goat pics don't get your attention, maybe a mouse (wil)l

Riot Kitty said...

L: It was hilarious to see it in the mail!
Joey: I am sure there are people who want to see it ;)
WIGSF: Ah, disappointment...see previous comment.
G: That's a really good point. Now maybe she will be curious!
LG: Actually, it would be more interesting than rugby ;)
S: HAHAHA! I didn't see that I hadn't seen any...just no pics from people I know.
Darth: How about the goat AND the mouse?

Logical Libby said...

I thought they were just going for the toothless hobo demographic...

Riot Kitty said...

Libby: Heh, maybe...and I was totally off ;)

Granny Annie said...

I wanted to say that about 9/11 but could not bring myself to do so. Thus you remain my idol of bravery in outspokenness.

About unsolicited photos of body parts....duh?

The gal's tooth looks like mine after eating spinach enchiladas yesterday. Anyone tell me? Nooooooooooooooo!

A Beer for the Shower said...

She looks like a hillbilly catwalk queen. Yee-haw!

John McElveen said...

JOE!!! That's why I just bought mine!!! Think they will take them back?


Great one RK....FILM AT !!;)) !!!!!


J

Scarlet said...

LOL - So true and funny! Still cracking up over the line, "Please note: this is not an invite!" Hahaha

PS - If anyone sends you a pic of his penis, send him that postcard...it's hilarious!

Riot Kitty said...

GA: I lived in NY so I learned to say it quite frequently ;) Sorry about the enchiladas!
ABFTS:
John: HAHA!
S: Glad I can make you laugh. And good idea ;)

Mike_D said...

Oh, so in that case--don't check your mailbox tomorrow. Or the next day.

"Boobalicious Vampire..." I don't know quite what to say about that...

911 is a little too close to home right now, maybe in a few more years I can watch a documentary....

My word verification is "scronds."

Shionge said...

I totally agree with you that body parts aint gonna turn me on....it will be OFF!!!

Riot Kitty said...

Mike: HAHA!
S: Yep.