Saturday, April 16, 2011
What does guacamole mean to you?
That was a real question I overheard this jackass of a guy in line at Chipotle ask the staff tonight.
My bro and I went there, and though there was only one guy in front of us, it was taking forever.
Why? Because he was micromanaging every step of the line for his burrito.
He made the staff slam his containers of guacamole on the counter to "get out the air pockets." He corrected them continuously. "Nope, still a HUGE air pocket!"
Then after the slamming, a container of guacamole broke. "Ooooh, you broke it!"
He bent over a wrapped burrito to inspect it.
I wish this was fiction. I could hardly believe what we were seeing and for a minute I just stared at the guy. Who, by the way, came on a bike with that snorkle-dicky mirror attached to his glasses.
You know me - I always root for the underdog. One of my pet peeves - and I was just discussing this in the morning with a friend who works in a cafe - is when people are abusive to workers in service industries (e.g. baristas, restaurant workers, etc.) It's like they're being pricks just because they can, to the people who work in some of the hardest jobs for the lowest pay.
So after the last air pocket comment, he says to the cashier in a super condescending voice, "I assume you know what guacamole is."
She said, "Yes."
He said, "What does guacamole mean to you?"
At that point I had had it.
I asked him, "Don't you have anything else to do with your free time?"
The guy looked absolutely bewildered. "I'm sorry if you found my behavior offensive," he said.
I wanted to say, "I didn't know you knew that many words!"
But instead, I said, "It's not offensive to me. It's offensive that you are so rude to all of these people working here, and they can't say anything back because you're the customer."
He looked really embarrassed - the kind of tail-between-the-legs look - and he slunk out.
Then three employees thanked me.
The cashier said, "He comes in once a week and he expects us to memorize his order. But then he changed it."
Hopefully he'll leave those air pockets alone for awhile.