Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Things I have learned recently...
Photo of Lucky by Mr. RK
1. Men's Health magazine is like Cosmo for boys. Every other article is, "What she REALLY likes in bed..." Tip for the uninitiated: just ask!
2. Any day that starts with your hairdryer nearly catching on fire is not going to be a good day.
3. It is impossible to try and stop laughing if your boss rips a hole in the ass of his pants and then says to the staff, "No one look!"
4. Nothing travels faster than smell after your cat has been to the litter box.
5. Even if you require an RSVP for an event that has food, people will still ask you, "Do I need to RSVP?" No, we'll just guess and hope for the best with the caterer.
6. Honey badgers are vicious creatures that go straight for the testicles. Really. It's true.
7. No matter how many weird phone calls we get at work, there will always be a stranger one. A voicemail left Sunday night: "My sister has schizophrenia and she stole someone's dog. Should I call the police?" Um. What exactly would you like us to do?
8. If there are two exits in a restaurant, people will leave by the one I'm sitting at - even if it's below freezing and an artic blast comes in. And even after I say, "Hey! There's a front door, too!"
9. If your husband wakes up early on a weekend day, it's because one of your cats put his tail up his nose.
10. If you are hungry and desperate enough, you CAN finish the large size popcorn at the movie theater.*
How about you? What have you learned recently? I am ready to be enlightened.
*With help from a friend.